Wednesday, July 22, 2009

News

Only God knows how I felt when I heard the news today.

Today, you officially attached to a relationship again. Wouldn't it be fast? But i know, I should congratulate you and give you my bestest smile.

You have my blessing. You really do.

Monday, July 20, 2009

The pursuit of the happy-ness

They are the poisons that i need to swallow. I squint my eyes as they hurt my throat when slides in. Probably they could heal. Heal the broken me as there is nothing complete in this shell of empty soul.

I heave a sigh. But it doesnt exude all the destructive feeling out from me. And I started to realise that i wasnt completely over it yet. I placed the poison in front of me,hatred, disappointment and anger, nicely laid inside those flamboyant bottle, tempting me to have more. Pick one, pick one. They waved. Pick one and let go, let it go though you found the greatest capacity and gravity to move or change you. But let it go, those volatile emotion that governed you and consuming you slowly.

The bitterness stems..when you lose it and sometimes, we are so ignorant to know it. listen to your heart says. But when you finally know you have nothing left, you wish for a tiny weak voice in you that gives you a hint, but there is none. Only those segmented pictures, reminding you those are the past. Let go. While you are not yet consumed by any destructive emotion. before you are destroyed, and let the evil side of you won over the game.

But somehow it hurts, it hurts when you know you had it and undeniably they were real, at least that was what you used to believe. But now, you felt like cheated. You cold and silvered to the bone. because, nothing had been left. Not even the responsibilities that you used to have.

Those days when you open your eyes in a sunny or rainny morning, with the face that appear in your mind, so nicely and naturally placed in you mind. You have to let go now.

I remember the nice trip. The bright and tranquil autumn town that made me fall in love at the first sight, the yellow big sunflower stalls, the first starbuck, the smiling mexican, the burger, the greenery of the garden, the cold breeze at the space needle and its small bookstore with lots of nice postcard , the women who asking for way, the old man with his sexophone, the small and cozy backpacker inn with its simple morning breakfast. Those and those... i bowed for the one last time and wave them a good bye.

It is the pursuit of the happiness. I understand.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

今天会更好

从星期一至星期五,我多了几位烦恼朋友,虽然他们逐一地走了。想清楚地说个明白,可是我知道不是每一件事情都可以拿出来分享。烦恼就是这样,总是接踵而来,不会一次了断的和你划清界限,在你难过时,他会再来增加你的烦恼。长了这么大, 我想我可以把他们做得很好。 从工作到朋友到家人,我希望这些事情有人可以和我分享,可以聆听。在我最烦恼的时候,哭得稀里哗啦的时候,可以给我一个定心计的拥抱。前几天,心情真的跌个十万八千里,我以为我会死了,也以为我会因此改变自己成为一个阴险的人,带着报复的人。这次我真的需要安慰与开导,不再是坚强的我。甚至睡觉都会发梦曾经离开了我的朋友们从四面八方的走来拥抱我,醒来时,身体还是温暖的。但不幸中幸运的, 我还是该感谢上帝有朋友可以让我倾诉。否则我肯定疯了。
不要说我夸大,但有些朋友曾经叫我sunshine,(曾经,不是现在 -______-) 因为他们只看到我阳光的一面,但我想,在某些方面的我或许真的可以有阳光的力量,让身边的朋友开 心。我想找回快乐的自己。