Friday, December 31, 2010

Looking back and looking forward

Does it promise a clean slate for everything when you tear off the last sheet in your calender?

Finally, it'd comes to an end.

I’d say a good good-bye. A good good-bye that not being the teary-eyed, melodramatic, slow motion farewell. It’s the kind of good-bye that leaves that person light-hearted and serene. Wit
h the confidence that good-byes aren’t always words of Finality.

Regardless of all the doubts, I believe the coming new year is anticipated earnestly by lots of people to start a new life.

it might not promise a better a life ahead, it doesnt assure your promotion, nor assuage the
plaintiveness like the hand of God, it doesnt turn you into a wiser person, nicer to people around you, to change into new leaf, but i think the reason, it was anticpated by people who celebrate it by having a nice fine dining dinner or mangling in the countdowns jamboree, is the hope that lays ahead.

And now, as i am standing at this boundary line in between 2010 and 2011 and reminiscing back
the 2010. i must say 2010 isnt a bad year for me. A year with no broken heart nor exorbitantly shedding tears, a watery year with not many ups and downs,a year that showered with love by good confidants, a year with gains of new knowledge and skill but of coz, a year with lost of modesty and unassuming me and making lots of blunders.

I am sorry.
I am Sorry for being a friends who incessantly took things for granted, abusing others kindness for my benefit and being oblivious to others feeling, vent my spleen like some pampered brat and my hurricanes kind of temper, though i recovered real fast but nobody should deserve it

I was making the same slip yesterday when my friend suddenly changed his mind and sort of
breaking promise, i was in angst and fiery as i sort of see its coming, so at the end we sulked our face for the whole day and it didnt make me feel any better. In fact it felt worst than having him
to break the promise.

Sorry for being too busy with works and sulking my face when i am stress out, Sorry for being me who always think i am right and refuse to listen or taking the wrong approach to communicate like bickering over the matter instead of putting myself in others shoes.

I promise to be a better person and for all the good things, i wish to keep it for the new year.

last night, i rake in all the resolutions i can think of these few days and putting in the paper, lik
e how i used to do when i was in my early twentieth.

fret not, I am going to achieve them all!


aja aja fighting!!!!!

* The below post is updated 3 days later, merely because I am lazy to start a new post talking on the new year eve event so here were some of the pictorial update and contradicting the above post, this is a less "prim" one:) sorry for my laziness!


The new year eve dinner with the family at my parents favorite's ah kit restaurant.


Adjoined to the new year gathering with a bunch of rojak friends. ( friends, uni-mates, kh's hometown friends..)


thanks for the fun fun night!

Thursday, December 30, 2010

梦里的大楼

今早一爬起身就觉得昏头转向的,胸口闷闷作呕,莫非是!!!!!!??
。。。。惧高症的后遗症???。。。。。。
不是吧,还真地从梦中带到现实里头。 =__________=

昨晚梦了一连串的故事,但记得的只有站在一座很高很高的建筑物上,一座没有窗的40-50 层或更高的大楼,如果一踩空, 必定死无疑啦!!为何站在那,我也不记得了。
只觉得我如梦初醒时已是双脚发软, 心跳沉重的打在胸口上,唯一觉得自己还活着的是想作呕的冲动,我慢慢的弯着咯咯作响的小腿,再者是大腿,慢慢的再慢慢的增加地心引力的平衡感,没用啊,只能抱着双膝等着自己撑不住时坠下。 等着自己慢慢接受死亡降临的那一刻,我想到了前阵子在cheras从高楼跳下了断自己的面子书男孩, 我突然佩服他的勇气!!光看都已经脚软了, 还用说跳下潇洒的环抱云朵,与鸟翱翔, 再像玻璃般支离破碎。那是一股莫大的勇气, 也是一股莫大的傻气还有一股莫大的不服气!!!

迷迷糊糊的又醒了,这个梦代表了什么???

来到了公司,偶然看到新来的老板进错了女厕所,我不敢笑因为老板看到你迟到也不是件好事,打开了电脑检查信箱, 受到了一封mentor寄来的信,其实我每天都倒数他假期完毕回到公司的一天,可是收到他的信肯定没有好事情了,又有的忙了。

现在想起来昨晚的梦跟他回来其实是有关联的,他应该就是那高高的大楼而我就等着送死吧!!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

catching up

Happy New year su lin! this is for you:)

I seldom chat with others through video call except with my bf when i was in US but seriously, it was actually quite fun! I should have realize it earlier!

Happy day

Nothing specifically happens today but i am happy, happy for the simple reason I suppose!

happy because I was able to have a nice chat with 3 good girl friends today, and it is like triple happiness that they all chatted with me today:)

life was hectic sometimes that you urge for your friend's understanding but when you finally hit the valley you will miss those faces and conversation you guys shared before. I am always a person who cannot live without girl friends but apparently most of my girlfriends are not in Penang or the available one will not be free all the time, so sometimes i find it hard to grab a girl friends to do the shopping, chit chatting and so on. It is different to do it with guys you know:(

but, today is special because i am satisfied with the quality time i spent with them albeit not physically.

and i guess I was relieved that I finally figured where should i celebrate my new year and when everything kind of sort out themselves it does put you in an upbeat mood!

get down to real business, i still owe myself the new year resolution and doing the retrospect for 2010. No time so til then!

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Old title

Somehow i miss the old title thus change it back:p

I was relentlessly chasing after the Korea series "He's beautiful" last week until my mind was full of jang geuk suk, youtube-ing the mtv during daytime and had uncountable sleepless night revising the scene I like over and over again, imagined I was the lucky one when he make his " salanheyo" confession, the addiction was slightly getting better this week, in fact, I felt much better now. I admit i was half-witted the week before but now i'd found my sense and realize I couldn't reach him even if i fly to Korea now. Anyway, the image wasnt completely erased from my mind but at least i am much sober now. At least i knew I still need to work in the office to earn some penny so that I can buy a ticket to Korea next time to attend his concert, if he has any.

This is like falling in love for one time but heart broken for millions of time. it requires a lot of vigor to pull yourself out from the unrealistic mess.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Christmas 2010 with great people-part 2

This year christmas had been really slow and quiet with no party or midnight countdown on christmas eve..but good thing is we had a replacement holiday. Hooray!

on eve, we went to church like some pious christian except i almost dozed off as the english mass started late and my all time favorite Father Marshall left to Kedah church one month ago *cry*, i tried not to be bias but i do think the preaching from new priest was quite dull and dreary. ( forgive me!! ). As for the Christmas day, the morning started with a small lump and like the other weekend, we went to my brother's house to visit my parents and the baby Joanne.

Joanne seems to have a good mood that day:) mum said she sure was happy as she had done the big 4 things of the day like poo poo, shopping, drink milk and taking nap too!

I surely want to live a life like a baby!!

PS: Thanks Fen for the christmas pressie, I love the sheer chiffon texture outer wear you gave me:)


For the Christmas dinner we went to this cafe called butterworth cafe which had quite an impressive online review. I was craving for pasta but it isnt in the menu that day:( This cafe had been really old and built since 1958 so i guess it was the family business as the owner cum the chef doesnt look that old though.


I was really relief that the dinner plan was carried on without cancelled under any unforseen circumstances albeit I wasnt too sure if my family enjoyed the food but i know they do prefer the Chinese food especially from my parents favorite ah kiat's restaurant but sometimes it was good to have a change.

Anyway, Merry christmas, and happy new year!

An artsy heaven called Amelie Cafe

Driving away from the bustling Penang town centre, we dumped our geared at the designated parking outside our destination, occupied an obscure narrow space which easily mislooked is the Amelie cafe that festooned with greenery plant and pieces of recycled wooden board unleashing the artistic sentiment of the cafe owner.


We stepped into the slow mantra of the jazz music, the amelie cafe effortlessly exudes a warmth and peaceful heavenly expanse for her customer to bask in especially on a hot humid afternoon, and for a second, the agitation i felt moment ago walking aimlessly at the gurney plaza was miraculously calmed.

we greedily gazing the little cozy space, it is small but it gives a rustic romantic kind of atmosphere. Decorated with the crafty painting, the unfeigned and delicate homemade embroidery , and not forgetting the worn off wall expose the red brick embellishing another artistic element, apparently the owner is really good at recycling his stuff that collected for many years.
We wanted to order the highly recommended chocolate mud but it wasnt in the menu so we decided to try on the black cherry chocolate cake and the coconut brownies with coconut ice-cream, with the cuppicino and orange lassi.

The first bite of the warmth cake that matched perfectly with the icy cool of ice-cream literally melted in our mouth and utterly tickles the taste buds.


We exchanged a little chat with the female boss before leaving, from the conversation, it isnt hard to know the owner pursue arts ardently which can be shown from every details in the cafe or even shown from the quality of food served, even if it isnt making too much profit from the business but the appreciation from the customer on their food means alot to them.

Stepping out from the same door that we walked in moments ago, I realize my mood has changed 180, like a kid who just discover a great treasure I was really happy to have visited this new inviting and homely space, lingering in the heart isnt just the contentment and pleasure you had after a delectable appetizer but that 2 hours spent somehow appease the weariness of a busy life.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christmas 2010 with great people

Like i promised to my friend, I will try to keep this tradition for as long as I could and like last year, we had this pre-Christmas celebration organized at my house with everyone gather together having dinner together and randomly exchanged the gift. I remember having my housemate cum buddy leng and also yang and su lin tagged along with us last year but not this year anymore. But the blessed thing is, when some people left, you keep them in your memory and hopefully your path will cross over with them someday.Meanwhile, you get closer with some of the friends you never thought they will be a part of your life someday. Though you might just stay for awhile, but at least it happens.

I always feel deep on this kind of thing call fate, and I acknowledged the journey of growing up will be lot more painful and lonelier, it is a tedious process to trudge through so i need to make sure I never hold any grudge on people who failed me because oneday i am going to miss them, somehow.
anyway, thank you for dropping over and i will see you guys again next year, if we are still around. :)

Merry Christmas to all my friends! you guys rock my day.


Friday, December 10, 2010

When Jul is leaving


If we were have to bid farewell, lets make it a happy one.

I don’t intend to make this blog schmaltzy albeit I was bidding a friend adieu. For my 5-6 years in Intel, I have met lots of wonderful and great friends who joined as my badge or slightly older or younger and I was lucky that we could really live like a big family. But when the old faces gradually seceded from the same life cycle year after year, shifting in are those younger fresh grad whom I hardly mingled with, slowly life doesn't seem to be so fun anymore and that is when we felt ourselves grow older, and dull.

Jul is always a very decent nice girl who you can get very comfortable with, she has the nicest skin complexion but what makes her different is, she is a very mellow and humble kind of person and looks extremely sweet with 2 visible natural dimple on her cheek that divulge so effortlessly when she smile.

I will remember all the midnight rendezvous in clubs and dancing away our youth with not a semblance of regrets left.

and I shall cherish all the fun and laughter we shared and felt blessed for the friendship as long as i could remember.

Seriously, I think I must have lost a friend who contributes so much fun in my life though we are getting older and wiser that we only partying when “ necessary”.

and so, clubbing for the final time seems to be the best decision ever to sum up the whole chapter of this friend in Penang.

The 20++ of fun loving people ensued their saturday night from a wedding dinner to UPR and after spent almost an hour doing the club surveying and bargaining over the price, we finally decided to binge into Fame since most of us hasn’t clubbed for ages.

Honestly, the club doesn’t impress us at all and the song wasnt that fun to gear up the mood but you wouldn’t care much for those details when you are partying with the right crowd.

See you again Jul!

Monday, November 29, 2010

Happy thanksgiving '10

This is the first time I ever plop my calender for thanksgiving day.

As I spent most of my time dealing with the US counterpart this year so I was aware when all of them taking a long leaves to celebrate the big day.

anyway, I had a good thanksgiving this year too. And I believe he was too.

I am glad both of us made the effort to be at home earlier to prepare the dinner together. :)

Our scrumptious black pepper steak, which is also our first attempt on grilling steak.

WAHHAA! besides from the delectable steak that made up my day, this constipated look surely does the same effect on me as well!


Monday, November 22, 2010

marathon effect


My whole body is aching today, from the shoulder to my shank, every muscle is torn when i move, this is one of the reason i hate exercising especially hiking, running and cycling, not only the fatigueness and dizziness when trying to work out but also the aftermath that it caused.

But despite from all the detriment, one thing good about it is, queensbay carpark has lots of empty lot yesterday!!I think the whole penang must have joined the marathon and half dead at home.

* This space is honorary reserved for my certificate!!!!*

Friday, November 19, 2010

Toilet talk

For some women dignity reason, i was holding my helm not to blog this out for sometimes but it happens today again and it is getting my nerve now that i no longer can adhere my patience.

I hate the toilet in level 3!!!!!!!

I have no idea why people like to say women's room is clean, tidy and palatable to visit compares to guy's, albeit i dont really have many male's room to step into and prove myself but i really used to think guys room is dirty, 365 days except if their mum dropped by to help them tidy, or if they are old enuf would be the wife or the gf gua. Anyway that impression kind of encrust in my mind la, picture the room must be cluttered with the dirty clothes scattered across the floor, not to mention the imagination that works coherently with the sense that can even tickle our mind to imagine the condense odor of their dirty blanket that left unwashed for months, and not to mention the toilet! Ewwwww...their toilet bowl must be smeared with some poo poo stain and the clammy floor has some gluey moss or lime inclines to make you fall flat on your faces.

i didnt say this out of contempt for guys, but i really had bad encounter to a friend's house once that the whiff of stinky smell coming out from his room almost made me lose consciousness. =____=. Anyway, that is not my point. trust me, I am not in my fuming rage now though the
incident i encountered just now almost made me pee in my pants.

Ok. Back to the story. i just want to say, girls nowsaday can be eerily diry too! not all, but some of them.

not the first time that I am so " suei" to see the yellow urine stain sprinkle on the toilet seat T____________________T


GOSH!! my drawing sux to max!!!!!!!


And sometimes when you were waiting patiently for your turn as every room is occupied, and there comes out a swanky, decent look sweet lady from one of the room, so you dash into the room because you cannot hold anymore, but what makes you washed out immediately is nothing but the toilet bowl that was wetted on the seat and that moment i really wish to have a gun and kill myself right away.But since i dont have the gun, i would have to stoop my intergiry really low pulling out as many piles of toilet paper, and helped wiping off the liquid.FML.
As for now, I still dont believe myself doing this! how if the paper is not thick enuf that the liquid infiltrate through the paper and touch my finger!!!!!!!!
But most of the time, tis is what i do, i would just tip toe to avoid my butt touching the disgusting surface. And that require a little bit of skill *ehem* to not touching the surface while not dropping your waste on the seat as well.

but there are time when you are lucky enuf, somebody would come out from another room and you can manauveur to another room...but serioisly i dont have this quirk of luck very often. haha

Since my subconscious was really conscious on this kind of situation, i will always make sure myself to double check the bowl or seat to see if it is clean enuf for the next user. not because i am such a good clean girl but I was afraid of people like me who would remember forever the person who came out from the toilet room leaving a stain on the bowl!

I duno why i am writing such a dimwit post, some more the disgusting scene etched in my head now la! How to get rid of it!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Nothing particularly interesting happened recently, weekend is always busy keeping up with the new house renovation progress and family, while night time was bustling with works and reviews.

Leaving those aside, I am still anticipating the coming of every weekend, though it will recursion on the same boring stuff like renovation and works but at least I still have midnight by the end of the day not fretting to wake up late on the next day, i have been doing stuff that i really love doing and making me happy when everyone asleep, like trying out the food recipe.

Come to think of it, i have vague memory of watching a movie in the cinema. How does the popcorn taste like? does it still have the caramel flavor? And I don't know how I did it to keeping up with the "HOT" magazine in border previously, but i couldnt find just one hour for it now.

anyway, regardless of the hecticness, I still manage to snatch half an hour sometimes to prepare the dinner and that is the only fun thing that gleams my day.

here is one of the new dish I added into my recipe book recently - the chinese chow mian.

I almost capture the familiar taste of my hometown chow mian that I miss dearly but apparently some of the ingredients are still missing to make it perfectly taste the same. :(

Friday, November 12, 2010

Best Kimchi fried rice in town!

* narcissistic mode ON*


Today I used my remaining homemade Kimchi to cook a simple dinner for him and yung yung. Believe it or no, they are simply delectable!*smug*

Since i am totally in the korean mood now, i lolled in my couch and switch the remote to the Korean movie called " Style" but as usual, that movie nearly made me bored to the max. I didnt follow the movie closely but i happened to watch the first episode and since then, I kept on wondering why they ask this guy to be the main actor???? Does korean deprive of handsome actor now? =S Isn't Korean or Japanese movie always prefer a better looking guy instead of chubby, round and old one? if not, at least the eyes should have an even size gua since the plastic surgery in korean is so well-known.:S

aiya..I dont know la.. please judge yourself.


Should I even be ready?

*Heads up to whoever reading this, this is a private post so if you are going to read, please don’t be judgmental*

maybe I am started to feel free or what. i really have lots of time for my blog now.

Anyway, I am not trying to pinpoint anything nor anyone saying they didnt do their duty well. I just want to vent my despair, I just want to feel liberate again!(why should I explain? I dont know..haha)

There are times like this time, when I am stale and having times to ponder over my future, my mind will mechanically reload back itself on our problem that we never weary to avoid facing it, and once I started to accelerate the engine and let the issue slowly infiltrate into me bits by bits, i will feel the same old agitation, lost and even questioning the worthiness again.

To thread towards a wedding, I must say I have lots of requirements to please. And yes, some people are always judgmental and kept asking me " you said you are not prepared do you mean you don’t love him?" HELL NO!

I love this guy whom I know will stand by me no matter what happen, laminate me through the rains and fall ( or maybe not everytime =.= ), and most importantly he always seems to have the psychic power to read me.Simply because I know he understand me and yet still deliberately procrastinate the commitments that had promised for years,hence that is when it started to make me feel that maybe I am not ready for a marriage at all.

To born as a Christian, I always want to live in Christian life and I want my husband to be one too. I am not afraid to say, and i dont care if you think i am too demanding or despotic, but everyone has their chance to choose what they want in their life. And before we get along together, he had made that promise that it is something that he will commit, by free will. And merely if he wants to.

But seriously, what fretted me now is a part of me knows I can’t tell if this is true anymore.

I never like to act like a pushy partner who keep on reminding her partner of what he should do and what's not because I want to hold to my principle, that somebody who seriously wants to do it will eventually do it. No force, no push and of coz something that you perceive through an argument isn’t as genuine as its original intention anymore. But sometimes, it does get to my nerves that I need to give a push and query, but as usual the answers will always be " i was busy..." " i was doing this and that..." " i was going to do it..." blah blah. I know we are getting too complacent with our life sometimes that we forgot what is important and start taking thing for granted, and I am fear of knowing the fact that I dont want to start a fight so I will always keep myself busy to shun the same topic that rile us up again.

But, a part of me was protesting and saying this is unacceptable, this is nonsense. If no time, make time!

we, both of us, to be honest, had indeed spent too much time on work. He and I worked from morning to sometimes midnight and even he had to report to office during weekend for the whole day which doesn’t seem healthy anymore. I hope his hard work paid off well.

Honestly I don’t feel good to complaint, and it doesn’t make me remotely happier even after I vent. But i just hate a moment like this when I am having some time to reflect on my life, and the schmaltzy side of me suddenly pop out and conjure up the reality again.

In this moment. Nothing seems right anymore.

The story of my ex

I decided to change my title to something more intellective.

But she might not stay long enough to witness the end of the world, which is 2012..emm..or 2011?

Anyway, "If the shoes fit" served her master well for the good 3 years and it is time to withdraw from reality, officially. As her ungrateful master thought her name is too trite to continue considering many aspects like feng shui and ba zi (translate in Chinese please) and she isn’t making much sense to anyone, or maybe except me.

So to commemorate the respectable "if the shoes fit" I shall reveal the story behind its title.

"If the shoes fits" is named after a movie I watched when I was in pre-puberty age and I can't really recollect what year was the movie taken place. But that is a very emblematic love story that a poor girl like Cinderella except she didn’t have a wicked stepmom but replaced by a very great mom who worked as the dressmaker. So ultimately Cinderella met with a heartthrob charming rich guy and they fell in love. The falling in love didn’t happen without any solid reason to justify, actually the girl was wearing a dress that her mum tailor-made and that made her standout because her mum is a great tailor and can make cloth that you cant see whether the dress is branded/not branded and make people fail to distinguish if u are poor or rich. Anyway, I made it up when I was in age 12. So they fall in love and the girl started to cringe in shame with her meager background status and having a mother( maybe the father died early so i only remembered the mum.) who was old and poor. So she didn’t want the guy to know her background and played lots of antics to hide it. So the cliché storyline involves telling people the mum was not her mum but her servant, something like that. Audibly that hurt her mum’s feeling and she finally dawned with consciences and realize the big mess she threw and eventually trying to break up with the guy because she felt herself too small to claim a tie of kinship with the guy in such a high social status but of coz la, the happy ending always end with the guy didn’t mind and they lived happily ever after.

dozeeeeddddd ooofffffff yyyeeet?????????

Anyway, I kind of like the movie because that was the first time I ever imagine what if I have such a wonderful love story and I can live like a princess with my prince charming in my castle forever and ever.

Good thing is...the reality doesn’t run too far this time when I grew up.

I have a my prince caring – CHECK

I am still my mum's little princess though i am way too old to call " little" –CHECK

All are right, EXCEPT

My prince caring isn’t charming enuf carrying his singular abdominal that gets rounder –UNCHECK!UNCHECK!UNCHECK!UNCHECK!!

and too bad, i don’t have a castle. :'(:’(:’(

What a slothful morning with the drizzly long-winded rain.

So you think i am going to talk about my ex-bf? OF COZ NO!

-The end-

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Life sucks sometimes

If they were just a sheer coincident, then I would chop my head down for the sacred oblation.

Every time when I extol on how wonderful my days was merely when I felt good that day, some busket thing would surely come along my way rile me up and make me felt like a shithead again. Seriously I was totally awed and amused with that quirk of fate that so ever precisely chose its timing to crush the optimist me entirely. EVERY SINGLE FXXKING TIME.

I was amassed with a gust of motivation and feeling all positive that day so therefore posted the happy post and just the day after the night of the post, my day had changed abruptly in 360 degree like being thrown off the cliff. Dont get me wrong, I might excessively make it sound catastrophic but come to think of it, nothing disastrous ever happened, at least it didn’t manage to happen at last but the process of waiting for it to happen caught me off guard for a short interim and ensuing with a day of complete bad mood.

So here is the case, I was waiting for my architect to approve on my meeting schedule the night before until I dozed off around 1am. Which make sense as 1am is US time 9am(day light saving happen on last Sunday!) and most of the people were heading to the daily meeting and left the laptop heating up in cube. As usual, trouble is the mind best friend as i shouldn’t be fretful at all. I should have taken my sweet time hit my bed early especially when I bought the new mattress and let everything sort out their way. But I didn’t. And this is so like me. Yes, i did feel sheepish after besieging in own emotional dispute that gave me a bundles of weird and scary dreams again. Whole night long!! On the next day, I was literally jump out from my bed when my alarm rang and fumble to my laptop in grogginess checking for the email reply and I did get what I want but on the other hand, I was receiving a hostile email from somebody and I hate receiving/reading such email early in the morning because it basically sucks me to max.

Speaking of bad experience.

My friend was rambling about nobody accompany him for dinner/lunch and the whole world dumped him without any better reason but just swoosh and disappear when he ask for having a meal together. It reminds me of somebody when that somebody had a very scornful character that basically makes everyone despise him, I never talked to him before so i cant judge, but imagine typing your name in google and search, how many entry that matches your name can you find? too bad, i only had 1:( So this guy..he has 1,2,3, ....7...10 ..or 98654348904 entries that he was the protagonist in all the stories which basically give people a perception that he is mentally disorder or split personality kind of freak. So backstory, my friend isnt that extreme compare to the legendary one (I love this word, legendary, regards after one blogger who wrote on that somebody)or maybe not even a little like him. But he is like a wimpy little kid that crave for people companion, care and perhaps...love? this gives me a goosebump anyway:S. A big size person like him but looks really small to me, i dont demean him but I simply mean, he looks like a little brother. So dont get me wrong. ohya..so he is rambling about his life and blah blah...not the first time i heard but definitely the first time I divulge my heart out so barely that I didnt know if I hurt his delicate little heart or...maybe pride. Anyway, i was asking him to grow up and stop whimpering like a baby. Life isnt sunshine all the days and people has no obligation to keep you company every single minute you need them unless they are true friends and family. Speaking of which, it sounds so familiar..emm..alright, i was telling myself the exact same line some while ago. Digging very very very further down my heart, I did know how does it felt like being deserted by good friends. Believe it or not, I was walking souless in ROSS shop and cooped up in my room and cried on my last day in US because I felt like isolated from the whole world as everyone always deserve a big farewell dinner on their last day, isnt it? And the saddest thing of all is....i rang him and he sounded so busy that even make me felt so wrong to be exist in this world. But anyway, not that i blamed him. Or maybe yeah, for a little :)

Anyway, depression does happen to everyone every once in a while, and sometimes you just wanted to holler for justice when people doesnt treat you like how you treat them. But come to think of it, why should you care more when it is so meager amount of care that you get in return. Dont pretend to be a saint saying you dont expect for a good return when you pour your heart and people treat it like ash. But something i learn along the way through the tumbling process of growing up, just shut all your senses to those who belittled and demean you, they dont really know who you are and not knowing you as a great person doesnt mean you have to incessantly disillusion yourself and put yourself in misery, and for those loyal confidant who stood beside me through the storms and tsunami, you have my utmost gratitude and I will always remember to be thankful, thankful and thankful!!

anyway, time to hit my bed!!OYASUMINASAI XOXO!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A dream comes true

beauty plan #3

No matter how many times you whine for how unlucky and gloomy your days were and how you desperately wish yourself to be a tad luckier than people around you, no matter how much sigh you heave and your complaints stacked onto chunky paper, no many how many times and how that many times that you feel so jaded that you almost forgot how to love and feeling a little giddiness on the simplest thing in life. Despite from all those sour and bitter moments that sucks up your energy, you know you still have to feel glad for given another day to have the chance to be lucky again, to immerse in the joy when sun ray piercing through the blind of your darkest skies and for that tiny fleeting moment, you thank Him with the most infinite, resolute and undoubtful way for still remembering you, and for being you. :)

and I do. For so many good things that fall on me before and every now and then. I consider myself having lucky day almost every day.

And i couldnt feel luckier when i experienced the new things. And that new thing include moments when i received something that I never expect to have. and that, includes these.


Still close to my ear that my mum asked me to save my kudos voucher to buy something nice for myself like SKII product when I offered her mine. And I told her it is way impossible to buy SKII using a RM200 voucher and when i said those, I wouldnt expect myelf to be so lucky to receive this gift.

Can't thank more to his sister for all these bounty, moreover they are all sealed and brand new. Though I wasnt the first person came to her mind to give but i couldnt care much as this is indeed one of the early christmas gift that I didnt expect myself to be so lucky to have.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Til then..

I was all exhausted and restlessly tired these few days. I went home late yesterday and the first thing i did stepping into my bedroom was took 1 second to change into my smelly pajamas, hit my heavy head on pillow and slept!

without taking bath, brushing teeth and washed my face, at all.T__________T

and I am sure i was having all kind of weird dreams all night long, slept for wee hours and struggling to wake up again.... for a meeting that cancelled last minute. FML
anyway, those dreams are so weird and embarrassing that after they happened, I was encompassed by the utmost guilt and earnestly apologizing to him for thousands of time, incessantly telling him I wasn't myself at all and i was processed by some evil spirit or i was too drunk or blah blah blah... i thought i had apologized but the other conscious side of me told me i haven't and i need to do it when i wake up...

so i was struggling the whole night contemplating to apologize or not to apologize until the alarm rings me up. =.=

Today hasn't been too productive as I was taking too much time to understand something. Despite from the crazy hectic-ness, the every inch in me is jumping vivaciously for the holiday tomorrow.

I believe it will be a fun long weekend that i can recharge and revitalize myself back again.

Happy holiday and happy Deepavali, everyone!:)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Homemade Kimchi

I have good memories on Kimchi when i was in US. Talking about kimchi reminds me of a friend in US, ah fang, whom we always share to buy a big bottle of kimchi from HMart for just 6USD, and of coz my korean friend who was an intern when i was in US and recently converted( congrats!!!! ) anyway, he always packed kimchi for his lunch like almost everyday=.=. I swear i will sick of kimchi if i eat like him.@@

anyway, fang and i lamented over the difficulty of finding kimchi if we were back to malaysia. And that was true until i knew how to make it myself!*smug* (but of coz many thanks to gab's recipe:))

Everything doesn’t happen so fast as I was too lazy to make it at first, instead I tried to buy it from Jusco but guess what, 400ml of kimchi was selling at RM10.60 in Jusco!! so i abruptly gave up the thought and tried making it on last

Saturday and waited the whole paste taking the 2 full days to ferment until i store them up in fridge.

Honestly, I think my first kimchi wasn’t 100% perfect as I added too much ginger as the smell is strong but overall, I am really happy with the outcome. I expect a failure in first trial but they came out all good and tasted just like kimchi though with ginger smell:p

So tonight I use it to do the kimchi jigae that i craved for long long time.

and for the first time also, i was trying out my own recipe to cook the japanese pork mayonnaise that i always love to order if going to Yataimura.

Indeed, nothing gives more sheer happiness than doing the thing I really love and knowing that I have learnt something new again.


P/S : Forgive my laziness to post the recipe as I always estimate the amount of the ingredient base on the portion i would make. Anyway, i will try my best to give you guys the best estimation. ^^

Ingredient A:
(a).1kg chinese cabbage
(b).one bowl of coarse salt ( I use the fine salt anyway)

Ingredient B (Kimchi paste):
(a). 3 table spoons of red pepper flakes( depends on how spicy you want your kimchi to be)
(b). 2-3 table spoons of rice flour/plain flour/corn flour
(c). 2 table spoons of sugar
(d). 7 cloves of garlic
(e). 1 yellow onion
(f). a quarter to half of ginger
(g). 2-4 bunch of spring onions
(h) 2-4 tea spoons of fish oil (sand lance sauce, any brand will do)
(i) 1 medium radish(julienned)

Steps:
1. Separate each cabbage leaves from its core

2. sprinkle the salt on each leaves ( some of the people use the method of soaking the peered leaves in the salt water, any method will do:))

3. leave the salted cabbage leaves sit still for 3-4 hours.

4. put the flour into a skillet, pour 3 cups of water and add in the sugar. Cook the mixture in medium fire, when it formed a starch, lifted it away.

5. Blend the garlic, onion and ginger in food processor.

6. stir in (5), radish, red hot pepper flakes, fish oil into (4).

7. After 3-4 hours, rinse off the salt on each leaves under running water( repeat it 2-3 times). And remember to squeeze the leave to properly drain the salt water.

8. cut the cabbage into bite size.

9. mixed the wilted cabbage into (6) and put them into container.

10. leave (9) in room temperature for 1-2 days for the kimchi to ferment.

11. tada! you are done and store the kimchi into the fridge.




Saturday, October 30, 2010

An affair with chocolate Mud

I love a saturday when i had enough time to do stuff i loved(except working over weeked, I hate that!) and today is one of the Saturday that i always yield for.

He requested for a chocolate Mud cake on his birthday but we were running out time so i didnt make it though i had all the ingredient in place.

Despite from the weariness i was having due to late night meeting yesterday with US counterpart, I woke up pretty early today to start preparing for my chocolate mud. Thanks to my big sister, alice! your baking is my inspiration and of coz I adore you!baking can be really easy sometimes if you have the right recipe and the most important is patient and of coz, passion too.

After 4 hours of baking, including preparation, waiting the ingredient to cool off or heating and baking, I finally had my first chocolate mud of my lifetime!

Surprisingly it looks amazing and so does the taste!!!

Hello,My first baby chocolate mud:)


I enjoy the process when the chocolate glaze running down gracefully over my choco mud that gives a lustrous and smoothest complexion.:)

happy Saturday everyone:)

Here are some process snippet of the mud making.

Preparing the ingredient. Mixed the flour and the granulated sugar since I dont have the castor sugar.
Melt and cook the cooking chocolate bar with water and butter.


Blending the all the mixture with eggs and pour the chocolate glaze that made by chocolate bar and whipping cream and that is it!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Beauty plan. Vinegar drink

Beauty plan #2

I have a few beauty plans ongoing because I really think I need those la..i hate flipping my old album and see how perfect my skin was and how boney I looked. And thing gets worst after I came back from Bali which basically i have nothing to flaunt except my darker skin and freckers So here is one of the millions beauty plan that I had In mine. ( The first one is of coz my sunblock la)

I spent the last friday lunch with a bunch of girlfriends, munching away our lunch at my favorite Pappa rich café before we headed to Tesco to grab some steamboat ingredient for his birthday party.

We stopped by “yu ren sheng” shop as one of them wanted to checkout the price of something that i couldnt recall, as usual I have a very terrible memory and things that I remember cannot retain long, the most will be 2-3 days. So there I spotted a vast selection of vinegar made by a mass of natural ingredient very neatly drawn up on the rack. I always

wanted to buy the vinegar as I heard drinking vinegar has become a trend for quite sometimes but due to my laziness to walk into any shop and do the survey, so I never really take any initiative to find out more. so now was the chance for me to get a close read on what are the goods it could bring.

Generally vinegar helps us in digestion and detoxification, and if you are a long term constipation sufferer, it provided the dissolved fiber that can help to relieve your constipation Besides I was educated that it helped in improving our immune system and revitalize or improve our skin texture, so if you are having a dry skin it will help our cell in absorption so the skin will be less dry. ( I made up this one /boo)

My first vinegar drink in honey and apple flavor. tasted nice and acceptable

Anyway, there are too many benefits that it could bring and i couldnt find any reason not buying it.^^

Especially when they are doing the promotion now as in buy 3 can get the vinegar in RM33 per bottle where the original price is RM52++. So we grabbed 3 bottle and shared among 3 of my girlfriends.

I never like drinking the plain water, i love water with taste and smell. So this seem to be a great chance for me to drink more water and stay rejuvenated. :) *WEE*

Thursday, October 28, 2010

我的巴厘Take #2



记载:30th September 2010 – 5th October 2010

我终于又回到了那个岛屿,巴厘。第一次来到这个岛上游玩是与一班的好友们。那段回忆是难以取代的。所以这次我也不抱着太多的希望会有什么惊喜毕竟行程上的都是曾经到过的地方。可是因为这次是我们,和他的好兄弟及女友的couple trip所以我还是有所期待的。月尾的工作来的特别忙,一天总有做不完的工作,所以在出发旅行的前几个星期大家都忙着赶工。因为他预料不到的工作实在太多所以整个计划还差点胎死腹中呢。但好彩还是放下了手上做不完的工打包着行李踏上了订了差不多一年的旅途。

我来了!!!!!!!!

就像第一次我都懒得计划旅行的一切所以这个重任就落实在他的身上。我只能说这个行程上的女生都太幸福了,就像我每天只需要关心今天去那里玩吃什么还有穿什么衣服就好了。行程上的大小事情都由男生包办。真的真的太好命了!如果每天这样就好了。 醒来的一天没有工作的担忧,没有赶着开会的准备工作,也不用烦恼着家里的大小琐事什么什么的, 生活一定会很完美。^^

到达巴厘时已夜幕低垂. 迎接我们的是一个看上去很年轻很老实的到地司机。开离Denpasar 机场
的路途上都塞满了大小辆的车辆。 这不是我所熟悉的Kuta,可见离开了两年多旅客也变得比以前多了。 第一天的晚餐比我们想象中丰富许多,司机带我们到了一个叫做Malioboro的餐馆, 在巴厘有冷气的餐馆都是不便宜,所以我们是有心理准备的。 但竟然坐了下来就不好意思再拍着屁股走人,再加上热心的交待员带着大大的笑容热心的招呼着我们,所以就这样我们被半骗着的点了这里出名的Ayam tulang Lunak, 其实如果没有这么贵的话,这一餐还是吃的很满足的。

Ayam tulang Lunak 特别的地方就是它连骨头都可以吃。贵贵的鸡如果很差就真的要杀人啦。

当晚冲洗过后我们就决定到热闹的街上溜溜。

看到很美的酒店可惜不是我下榻的。T_____T


我肚子在来巴厘之前就不舒服,所以来到这里就一直找厕所,一吃进肚子的东西不会停留太久就直通大肠, 就因为肚子一直反复的搅着所以走了一个小时就提早回酒店。第一天的酒店只是为了歇一歇脚所以就不没有太讲究,这家酒店看来有点陈旧而且不是非常清洁,但这不算是最可悲的地方,最惨是浑浑噩噩的睡到了半夜屋外还会听到一群人的叫嚷声,折磨到了接近一个时辰才有
的好睡。真的很生气!好在本小姐度假心情好才不跟你们计较。不然我真的会漏夜搬家去!!!

第二天,我们下榻了Ubub的一家酒店也开始了我们的巴厘之旅。起初我们的司机,Antoro好心的提点我们不要去Besakih Temple因为那里没什么看又会 “砍人”。但我们还是很坚持要去因为那是巴厘最大的庙至少不去别的也得去这个吧!再加上上次我来时正好有节日所以有好多东东看,而且我记得两年前的入门票也不会贵到吓人,所以就以为是Antoro偷懒驾长途才故意改掉我们的行程。
一到了那里,就有好几个男人走过来领着我们到售票台叫我们出一个价当作是做善事和入门票,然后我们身边都出现了几个大男人瞪大着眼睛等着我们开价, 看到了我们在犹豫,有个好像“话事”的男人拿出了一本没有写满的册子告诉我们这些都是曾经来过的游客开的价,最低的价钱还
是马币100叻!最后我们还是得乖乖就范的给了最低的价钱啦。

带我们进去的导游叫做Wayang, 他说这个名字在这里算是最普遍了。

见见大耳窿的其中一位成员。。。wayang!

Wayang看来不错,他说每个游客呆在庙里的时间不可超过1小时半,虽然这个庙由90个大小庙组成但不是每个庙都被允许进入的。

大耳窿-Besakih

背着Besakih是一座叫做Gunung Agung的活火山, 也是巴厘最大的一座火山, 靠着他的还有个出名的活火山叫Gunung Batur, 传说是个女的,Gunung Agung也当然就是个男的啦。这里的庙身很多都是重新刷新还有修补过的,也是以前的人用双手把这些巨型的石头搭建成的,不说不知, 那一栋一进门就看到的庙旁排列着一堆雕像,Wayang说如果你看清楚其实左边的雕像看上
去是比较友善的,右边的则是比较凶神恶煞, 这其实是代表这里的人都相信这世界上有恶灵和善灵的存在,两者都会被祭拜。最常见的应该是满街都可以见到的用香叶褶成的小盒而且里面还会塞满了一些小花,如果是小花或是米就是为祭拜善灵所准备的,如果里面放满了一些香料就是祭
给恶灵。其实还有很多小小的童话故事我也就忘了。。。



走完了庙之后,Wayang就大言不惭的向我们要些小费,还以为他会是个好人叻,哪里知道到后来也只是为了钱。=S

为了一睹Gunung Batur的风采我们还来到了山上吃很不好吃的自助餐,想起来还真的不知道值不
值。还有就是也没什么特别的holy Spring。巴厘的天气还是像记忆中般炎热。我提着我的小伞还是可以感觉千万只直射皮肤的灼热太阳线, 真的热到受不了。

Holy Spring

我对这里最印象深刻的就是那些买东西的小贩.他们已看到游客就会像章鱼似的把你缠住不停的拉你进店里买东西。而且大多数的他们都会说华语,所以除了定力要够之外说话也要特别注意了。


然后我们去了做Spa,我没来过这家Spa,只是我们的司机用人头来保证他真的很好所以就姑且来试一试。在巴厘做Spa是最值得不过的事了。想想看还有哪里可以找到RM75给两个小时的服务?我没有了第一次做Spa的羞涩,这次算是自然了许多。我拿了牛奶配套,帮我按摩的是一个微胖的小女生,整个过程都处于非常安静的状态,努力的帮我抹掉身上的死皮。大家得到上宾级的招待后就浩荡的去了最有名的Bebek Bengil。

我点了我盼了两年的Pork Rib还有非常香脆的Crispy Duck,虽然价格不会便宜但还是超值得的。


第二天我们只在Ubub逛逛。吃了这里另一个”must Eat” 的Bali guling。 就像上次那样,觉得并不特别,建兴还说还是家乡的烧肉比较好吃。我也这么认为。^^


Ubub 的sukawati art market 最值得买的莫过于油画和上衣。因为上次来过也买了很多只能挂在衣橱里却不能穿的裙子所以这次我只专注在油画上。买了算是三幅都以花为主的油画打算摆放在新家里,价钱真的超便宜的, 平均每幅也只有RM50罢了。

在巴厘有两个非常著名看黄昏的旅游景点, 一是uluwatu二则是tanah lot.

Tanah Lot 的黄昏像幅画.


还是马来西亚的椰水好喝:p


从Tanah Lot离开后我们决定去感受下巴厘的夜生活,要不复杂又不太安静的地方不难选,我们就选择了hard Rock a 的life band. 值得提的是这里的入门票是免费的,只需每人叫一杯啤酒就可以在这里呆整晚。

超赞的live Band!


第三天的路程更简单了。从早到中午我们只在市中心和海边闲逛。傍晚, 我们来到了这间位于Seminyak算是高级的La Lucciola 法国餐厅用餐。
这里发生的事情就不需再提了。但说真的,听着海风吃晚餐,看着慢慢坠落的橙阳, 还有那逐放眼帘所望去的一大片海洋,也是一种最高等级的享受。

在最后一天的旅程我们终于去了说了很久的sanur beach.


还有来到了著名的Uluwatu。
Uluwatu是巴厘最南下的地方,所以这里的海洋看起来比较不一样,辽阔得没有边界也没有尽头。地球四分之三的面积都被海水占住而我虽然站在筑高的顶上却还是看起来这么渺小,这么多余。那一刻我发誓我想起了在美国cannon beach 那一片的大海洋,看起来相似于眼前的这片却是在遥不可及的距离。就那么一刻,我是真得很怀念也觉得有点惆怅。

上次错过了kecak dance 这次说什么我都一定要来。Kecak Dance是巴厘的其中一个民族舞蹈。说的是邪灵被制伏而皆大欢喜的故事,也是老掉牙的童话故事。

沿着下山的路,我们停在Jimbaran吃海鲜。没什么特别,所有道菜的酱汁都一样,真得有点失望咯。。

离开巴黎的这天,没有太多的不舍。还回来吗?我问我自己。或许这是最后一次了,所以,巴厘,我们不再见。