Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The one

I should be lounging around and flipping through the channel to channel at this hour but instead I decided to tuck myself away in the corner of my bedroom, hunches over my wordpad and looking at him locked his eye on the laptop screen. I should be glad that he never is a Facebook person who chat randomly with girls, or a gaming person who might still slaughter his enemy in cyber cafe with a bunch of game kaki. he might be reading some forum, or maybe just that forum that he read on everyday to checkout if his droid finally achieving a cheaper price.

When i was young, my mum told me "when you have bf next time, remember to bring him back and let me take a look because parents always know how to discern the good guy and bad guy". But when i grow older, I can somehow interpret her bad as handsome guy and good as those guys you throw them into a cage of women also nobody would grab them. But speaking of which, my mum did had good guesses on a few but it is either her pick doesn’t fulfill my appetite or she insisted the person is bad but I refused to listen. But gladly, time tells the truth and unravel all the mysteries.^^

I never believe in true love must wait as they sound bullshit and clichéd to me, when you was so in love with someone and he shows interest on you too, all you want to do is ambush him and seize him alive and not just standing there and wait. So because of my innate impulsiveness, they always end up to be the terrible twister romance, because i was afraid that they don’t like me if I was pretentious to wait. Or somebody might already grab them off or even maybe they will divert their attention to others then i would stay forlorn forever.

So i jumped into relationships real quick whenever there is spark and so, I met some jerks, some sharks, some good guy but just not for me, and I ended up being so lost. Yeah, I was once so lost that i dont know what i really want, and when you didn’t know what you really want, you will end up feeling gloomy and PMS everyday and live in fucked up life.

So when I met him, i decided to wait this time. Not that i was particularly into him, and not because my mum said he is a good guy from their first meet-up but she said he is short and chubby ( and she denied that now). He is one of the very ordinary guy in my list, and he is very far from rich but when I understand him more as person, I thank God for sending him to me.

I am a person who is really hard to please, I am demanding and I like to be pampered because I know i will give him my 120% so he must at least try his best too. And i am very particular in knowing if that person really understands me wholly or just partially. I want it wholly! i don’t want him to keep guessing and i keep waiting. Basically, I just not into the mind game but not to reveal everything so he can easily understand me. But that person has to try if he is really into you right.

And somehow he seemed to have read my mind, not a single time but he always hit them right timely. He always know when to give a hug and when to ask "how are you" in a honestly genuine tone, like he knew he needed to ask because something just wasn’t right. He speaks what i think, and do before i even ask him to. He is not wealthy but he never been stingy to me but himself. And i don’t think my mind belongs to me anymore but he shared it with me. So the plausible reason is only either he is a genius or he truly love me. And I choose the latter.

He might not be the best for others as he doesn’t have a face like brad pitt, or amassing huge sum of moolah but he is indeed the best for me. And truthfully, he will always be.

Teng Teng Teng Teng!

With heavy heart, the 38 gang officially pronounce the leaving of her greatest member today. We shall miss you as our lunchmate, a sister, a brother, a hangout friend, and a family.


Teng is the coolest person I had ever met, despite her moot sexual inclination and androgyny dressing, she is just cool and special in her way that eclipse most of the people, especially man.

She truly wins them all!!!!!!!

She loves every special and quirky thing and effortlessly besotted with skinny and spiffy girls.

She is definitely crafty but not into wooden crafting but classy and edgy things.

And she drove RX4 which made kh hates his car.

Her classic pet phrase is "lang jen di" and she is good in giving nickname.

The only girly side of her is when she giggled in her cartoon voice....and her angelina's full lips!

She loves skinny jeans and shirt and groups those who wore sport shoes with jeans as intel nerdy.

She is a teaser but sometimes she gives you the incisive comment to make you improve.

She is quizzical of her nearly 0 record of being wooed. But I am sure no-one would dislike her.

Anyway, she is just that unbeatable cool and we will miss the easy-going her for sure. Til we see again!!

Being a lucky me

The surge of countless mixed emotion convoluted me like hemp vines, encompassing me with lots of tangling and baffling kind of sentiments that slowly eating me wholly. In fact, i at that moment and even now, failed to put my mind in clean slate to react "normally" and stay unwavering to discern the reality or dream, and i have to constantly telling myself to get over it as they are just too heavy to breathe in. I wasn’t being such delicate so often, and I wasn’t a person who would weep in public unless something makes me heart brokenly hurt. But shedding happy tear in public like movie is not something i can perceive as normal. That never happened to me. Because somehow I need to admit that the inner side of me is formed with practical and realistic entities, especially to things that i have already sensed its coming, I would then equip and prepare more.

This feeling happened last year and reprised again this year. I have said in my last year post that I believe the good thing doesn’t fall to us very often and I appreciate the thoughtful and surprise party that a bunch of buddies threw it for me. And same to this year, I thank you all for making me a lucky person again.

Though now is still early for me to write my birthday post but the happiness and joy that give me the greatest content is more than sufficient to sustain until the real day.

I thank the mastermind behind this surprise.:)

I thank to you guys for spamming your mailbox started to plan for my birthday a month earlier.

I thank those who defied their will to deliberately ditch me during lunch to buy the present.

I thank you all for the lovely scrap book of memories that you guys made for me, even the one who still join this plan during her confinement period.

I thank the one who was suppose to leave penang earlier but purposely staying back though she might feel utterly bored at home when everyone was off to work.

I thank to those who place the bet to see me cried and those who bet that I won’t lose badly.

I thank for the thoughtfulness of knowing i wont be able to finish the whole cake and thus buying with various flavours.

I know most of them might not reading this but I still thank you all for the friendship and love that makes me believe that I am a lucky person.

I guess despite from this whole surprises that nicely plopped, the greatest surprise above all is still the knowing that the thing which suppose to be big for you and yet you make it so triffy can be a big matter for those who loving us. It is the genuine thought that wants us to be happy that counts and make the plans fall in place.

Thanks for loving me as a person and as a part of your life.:)

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Palm Sunday

This morning we stepped into the cathedral church spotting the palm leaf in most people's hand which literally gave me a pang of wakefulness that today is the Palm sunday. We eyed a nice seat which gave me a good sight to the sacred altar, walked gingerly to the bench and lean against the empty bench that only had us to occupy. Not too long after we started to scramble guessing on where to get the leaf, the commentator lifted his mic and started to urge the crowd to the cathedral hall to get their palm leaf blessed by the Priest. So together we pursue the crowd to the hall and were lucky to be just on time to grab the last few before joining the mass.

The Sharing today was commemorated Jesus journey to the crucifixion, a story that I heard for copious time but still give me a hefty blow.

The falling of Palm sunday anticipated the coming of Good friday and Easter Sunday celebration, which also means my favorite April month is sliding into the Calender in no time.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Q1 teambuiling@Smoky Jack Ribs & Steak house

Just one of the backlogs that I deliberately procrastinated. After a few effective meetings held to discuss on the organization passdown and also the teambuilding, the team finally decided to go for steak for the Q1teambuilding event.


Proudly present you my new team except me! none of them are available so lets dont spend much time on them.

At least I felt better to be in this team since it practices the gender diversity here. :p And i hope the girls will stay longer than my previous teammate does.

I craved for the steak in smoky jack ribs and steak house after I came across couples of food hunting blog introduce this café which was classily adorned with flashy design, so I guess the meal should be costly too. But surprisingly, it was very reasonable for lunch set. I looked at the menu that comes with plenty choices and contemplated to order pork rib or beef rib...so finally i decided to order beef since it is more expensive and this was sponsored from teambuilding fund.The arriving portion was quite big and trusts me, it is very filling. But not every meal deserves the compliments, fen's fish burger set was too raw and stenchy lo.

The beef ribs was pretty succulent

Since there is no big table to accommodate the whole team we eventually separated into 2 groups, but we still share some laughter and silly jokes together. Frankly confessing, I do love my team, not only I have a very supportive manager and decent team member but at least we still interact like a close team. Trust me, not every team does.

meany

Demotivated.
I felt a subtle mood swing looming over me when my mind is almost drench emptied. So I try to pick a fight with kh but that wasnt avail coz that guy just dont layan me:( so i slouch into my couch and started to chat nonchalantly with my friends in facebook.
Then i suddenly remembered the incident that happened in the morning that a guy nudged me in Intel IM and wanted to be friend with me. Not like this is the first time i encountered this, but it was so long ago that i think to cut those random passerby's conversation short is the way i should do. So i just told him curtly that "I am not interested". But now i felt i am so snippy and really mean! but why not....he is greeting me as "dear" ....+______+ and that was really a bad prologue lo. So it turn me off immediately else I might be more polite *i guess so :(*
So i asked kh if i was mean and if he mind if i response better? He said I need friends in life also and as long as they dont disturb me, then it is good. And yes lo, I am mean. :(:(:(
sigh...how if everyone who doesnt know me think I am mean? am I a meany??? how if I dont get a friend next time? but mean girl is the exclusive right for pretty girls and not somebody so ordinary like me.
Anyway, I guess today is just one of those day when i dont feel anything is right about me
:(

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Back

I am back after a short hiatus. So reluctant to blog but I think i have the obligation to maintain this blog else I would forget how to blog again.
The workload inclination is getting quirky nowadays, sometimes i felt like i am struggling to ramp myself and picking up the new technology..in short, studying la. But the bad thing is, I tend to forget them after i studied!! how how! maybe I have forgotten the technique to do a good reading, hey i used to be good in memorizing stuff and I always got a good score in history class.

But now..I study study and in the next eye blink, I forgot!! am I getting old?? FML
and then just when i thought I would forever be this free, suddenly I was busy like hell. But it wasnt a bad thing though, coz i was truly enjoying this short interim of bustling to close issue.

And now..my senses smell the free-ness is coming back again! OMG!

but i know i will miss this idly moment after a few weeks when the new project starts. So I should appreciate this tranquil moment. *sip my MeetU coffee*
ohya, last night i went to watch Alice in the Wonderland. I have a very very very vague memory on what the story's about but when my friend told me he doesnt know alice, i still shout at him like he is a dumb. " what!!! so popular you also duno..isk.where is your childhood? how can you not know about alice??? why why why!!" but anyway, neither me remember the story so it is equally to not know the story also. Okla..whatever. My point is, I love the movie! despite the weariness on Wednesday night to catch the movie, I managed to enjoy the whole story! If anyone want to watch and couldnt find any, please find me!

Monday, March 8, 2010

The boy and the apple tree

Alright, it is time to blog again! The workload is pretty much cope-able la. Nothing interesting to blog about so i should start with something inspiring.

I received this piece of article from my friend this morning which gave a sudden plunge over me with lots of comprehension that I know I always need the constant reminder.

Last week, Father Marshall was preaching in sunday mass and encouraged us to watch Avatar movie that everyone was gushing about in 2010, something peculiar to had listened to a Father giving sermon that was not Gospel allied. But that was not entirely true, there is some relation to the movie that he said, from the movie the sacred tree in pandora was like pandoran's God that it shields the race from danger and offered the earnest protection to the whole system, hence the pandoran worships the tree because by then, they gain the eternal life. And same to our bible concept where God said: I am the vine and you are the branches. It is impossible for the branches to bare fruit itself without connecting to the vine and without this vine's support, the branch will surely decimated.

Same thing applied to family, It never been easy to be a parents, and I always doubt if i am able to do as good as my parents did and maybe my parents always wants me to realize how onerous the obligation being a parents and most of the time we wouldnt feel it not until we become one. Because to be a kid is so much effortless and fun than a parent. Yes, I acknowledged. But I must say, oneday kids will grow and it is time to unwind them and let them grow, less protective and make them explore the world themselves. Nobody loves to fail but it is only by failures that we grow stronger, learn how to defy the pain and fend ourself in this world. And only by gaining the capability to fend ourself, we can then survive through the fickleness of custom and be the crutch to our old parents and assured a family.

But this article is not about let go but appreciate and be grateful of our parents. Sorry for the vague fonts.

















Sunday, March 7, 2010

Night out at Station 1 cafe

Everytime in the party whenever people plopped a packet of poker and invite me to play, I would proudly reject them saying I dont know how to play coz from a positive perspective, that makes me a tad innocent that i dont gamble, though I was constantly persuaded that it was solely for fun and they dont gamble, Still..I dont buy it.

But for the very first time, I started to reassess on where I stand that I apparently lost tons of fun that people felt it but I dont. Game suppose to bring us fun, right? call me noob..but I never played jenga nor mastermind, nor game like connect four. Hapless fact is, I remember the only game in my childhood time is scrabble. Yes, and I didnt play it for long since I dont really know too many vocabs to tack and it always make me lost to other peers.
And now, I resolve to learn them all. Included the board game that I hate it so much previously. I dont know why i hate it, hate doesnt need a reason. I just hate it. But i found a pinch of cute-ness in it now, and it is amazingly that the repel feeling just unravel itself. Perhaps it is the fate

Last night, I dated 2 friends that nearly bored til death to station 1 to grab dinner and perhaps enjoy the live band performance. So teng was suggested maybe we can play some board game, how about connect four? what is that?...and her face was -_-, how about we play jenga? emm....apa tu? .........

teng : -___________-

it makes me wonder which cave i crawl out from. :(:(:(

The people..



I always say I wont but the undisputable fact is I will surely miss this new buddy of mine.


alright...so we started to play some games that was brain effortless. and surprisingly it brought us so much fun and laughter. Occasionally our concentration was carried away by some of the sentimental songs and soft mantra from the live band, else we pretty much immersed in the game.

The liveband. The younger guy can really sing la! *envious stare*


Initially we dont put too much expectation on the food, not like we do now. But the honest comment is the food doesnt taste that bad. Especially kh's chicken chop with rice. The rice was speechlessly delicious.:)


and this my portion, so-so I must say.


I love my G11, love her more than any of the compaq cam I had, whenever I looked at these photo, the love just grow fonder and it feels so right to carry her and flaunting around as she deserves to be in every best memont.:)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Blissful moments

Wake up in a beautiful morning without alarm is my first blissful moment...

knowing I dont have to get myself off to work is the second blissful thing....

but despite all that, nothing is comparable with the blissful feeling of having the chance to make a hearty breakfast for your loved one.


The English breakfast: hash brown with cheesy scramble egg + white coffee.

Friday, March 5, 2010

The eternal sunshine of the spotless mind


Unlike Jim carrey other movies that makes you laugh your ass off, this is one of his atypical movies that trigger your brain to think, something close to his masterpiece " the trueman show" but not there yet.


The eternal sunshine of the spotless mind shares the stories of a couple who met each other back at montauk beach after they erased each other from the memory. Yes, erased. You heard it right. I am not sure if there is any technology as such but this world will definitely spell better if it is true as pain, suffering, heart-broken will all be forgotten. How good is that?:)



The stories tells a couple who has nothing in common where kate played as Clem who was a very impulsive and effusive person who basically don’t follow rules while jim is somebody who is bored, timid and introversion kind of guy who lived the most mundane life. So when the plain bitter coffee met the creamy milk, they magically intrigued to each other and mingled. But the discrepancy of their character started to give them endless bickers that finally lead to break up. Clem was impetuously dash to a memory erased centre to rub out their memory, which means she will completely forget Jim. And later when Jim found out, he went berserk and signing for the same treatment as well. In amidst of erasing memories, he slowly trailing back his good and happy memory lane, so he tried to fight to retain his slowly decayed memory in his memory when he was anesthetized. He started to bring clem( in his memory) out from their shared memory, attempted to escape to some place where they never been to before so it wont get erased. But no matter how hard he try, the erasing machine can always track them down and obliterate every piece of memory bit by bit.


But as a newly born person, both of them still manage to find way back to each other and fall in love, again


I watched this movie when I was 20, attracted by its beautiful name, then found it too arty to comprehend. But the underlying message of this movie is more palpable to me now.


Love deserves a second try/chance. Something I never learn well as to me, a mistake is always a mistake forever, and having to know that I dont trust somebody would change thwart me from giving second chance to them. Love should be perfect and flawless to me. At least it is something that i determined to be such perfectionist.



Not good so I really need to change.


And for the first time, I am grateful to be forgetful as like the movie quipped, blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Farlim Night market

Wondering what to do in lolly Wednesday night?

Here is an option for you, Farlim Night market! Deng Deng deng deng!

The market is easily spotted and frets not to squeeze in crowd and gets
sticky by other's sweat coz the walkway between the stalls are spacious and airy. I bought 2 hair bandsfor only RM5 since my hair is getting longer and even can tie a very tiny standing pony-tail.


And I got this pair of croc sandal just for RM14. No way you are capable to
discern whether they are fake or real croc that rejected from factory.
But who cares since I am not a big fans of croc sandal too and I seriously do not think paying a big bucks for a sandal like croc is wise though.

There are lots of mamak foods to ease your hunger and drinks to quench thirst especially the sugar cane was utterly refreshing after a long walk.

Perhaps a more economical place to hang out with friends.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

When we dip together

No food, no party, no more food...no more party!

This is totally wrong. The more I enchant myself to stop taking in more food, the more I did. I still have couples of food log, outing that I pended to blog. But how come there are more to come?:(

Here is another party at my house, to tell the truth. I m not a party fan last time as they make me edgy wondering number of people that might turn up but I love it now especially those party people I had so far that came over and enjoy food together. And knowing that I might be losing these if i stay with my parents next time:( It doesn’t mean I don’t like to stay with my parents, that is utterly wrong but I just reluctant to give up all the freedom I have now, imagine doing everything without any shackle! Undeniably...I have 100% of freedom in my hand now, and I am the ONE juggling it, midnight movie without reporting..midnight limteh-ing without reporting..midnight clubbing without reporting...party party party..Freedom! that is why so many people dying to fight for freedom. Isnt it?

Anyway, it was quite a fun party though we didn’t have special entertaining program except eating, chatting and camwhoring. Healthy bunch of people. *aging problem perhaps?*


But thing was slightly different this time with the satay sauce carried all the long long way from south to north! And it is RM22 per kg! so expensive but okla...we have so much fun dipping stuff in the sauce and indirectly kissing each other by passing saliva.

Amid all the friends, fen is always the most helpful, hardworking and attentive one..so most of the food is actually bought by her. *Big wet kiss!*


We tried to retain the satay celup primitivism by stringing the ingredient together on satay stick.
But apparently, 13 of us( 15 to be exact as 2 are preggy ladies)still failed to annihilate and swept away all the foods so we have to play some kindergarden level poker game to finish them.


With the right group of people can definitely gives you heaps of happiness, isnt it?


eh forgot! we do have some monkeys show!