I am so grumpy thinking the character of that person that i occasionally deal with.
Not that i kena today but i heard some of the people kena the thing I kena before, so i totally can put myself in their shoes la...
Sometimes our work is stress already and yet you still have to " see people's face color" to do your work is even making your life suck. Everyone is good at what they are doing and what is the reason I need to see your face? Can I show you my black face when i TL? you only need one person in your life to make your life suck la.
But come to think of it, it is really stupid to feel sad for other's people mistake..but i am really angry of myself sometimes....why do i need to swallow everything when you try to demean me without any reason la...people find your support not because you are the one in this whole world that can do you job and not that you are the best but unfortunately you are the only contact that i know la..and you are assigned to support this and if i have a choice ah, I would take over whatever you are doing la.
Aiya...just by thinking I need to go through that bad experience very soon also make me sick now. :(
San Frans is one of the city that i like to set foot before my very last breath. The affinity forms unwittingly and not that i really know what is so interesting about that place except the imposing golden gate bridge and the gold rush story that i have only a smattering of. i just knew the place has lots of chinese and I was dying to see chinese after staying for 3 months in Oregon that was mostly Caucasian settled place.
When my plane touched down at San frans airport, I wasnt positive if there is anyone would pick me up. I was whirled in a messy ticket booking and date confirmation process with my BFF that i thought the plan would be killed, and to be honest that i was half-hearted when i reached san fransso i couldnt get any gloomy when realizing the cart needs to pay USD4 to be able to use, unrelentingly to pay that USD4, i decided to pull my 3 HUGE(50kg+50kg+17kg) luggage with infinitesimal strength, not to mention my laptop bag at my back..in a distance of less than 100m to reach a public phone, i dropped my luggages on the floor and made a big bang that everyone has to turn to the awkward me and watched, in the middle of the suds, i heard her familiar voice and she looked so worried that it somehow calm the disconcert that i felt min ago.
I thought OR is cold but somehow i felt chiller in San fans, especially when the bleak wind that wrapped around you were so sharp that they seeped through the multi layer of your outer and inner skin, shuddering more to your fresh and bones and maybe even deeper within. anyway..i just feltsoooo cold that i can still imagine the coldness now and my bff and her husband was so cool like that still walking in slow motion without sweater and all i did was run into restaurant, threw myself into the car and flew out to the hotel. The Larkspur hotel is one of the intel recommended hotel and it was really huge that i swear it can fit at least 6 people sleeping in a room. we were planning to have girls talk overnight and i actually imagined the picture over and over again but we were too tired that we decided to call it a day very early.
The first and my second day in San frans was really an exciting cum tiring cum whatever mixed feeling day. We started at the lombard street and took dozens of photo at different angle then we headed to the expotorium where we cam whoring for the whole day again..
The lombard street
View from lombard street
The love bird
kh looked at most ofmy pic and said I must be very high spirit that day that i made a lot of funny and silly pose. =.= .
And the 3rd stations we stopped was the golden gate bridge.
The day wasnt started good for photography as the summer fog was thick at first but when the sun slowly loomed from the gloomy cloud, the fog trudge away and you can see the red sparkling bridge standing tall in the midst of wide ocean. Leng told me the bridge is one of the little thing that survive through the earthquake in early century that literally put the whole san franscisco burn to ash and dust.
The 4rd station is the fisherman wharf and pier 39 that we spent most of our time at...
In love with sea lions
and of coz incessantly burning our calories weaving at the san frans steep incline from the bustling china town to the concrete urban jungle in downtown. Undeniably I do prefer the skyline of the SF town over Seattle that is less organized and structural.
And not forgetting the castro street in harvey milk movie...i was anticipating the guys tongue kissing on the street or the masculine figure weating just G-string....but all i can see was 2 man holding hands or walking side by side. so disappointing la..but it was still a fruitful drive through trip to be able to witness one of the street that making the history.
The shop that belongs to Harvey milk
i bid adieu to San Frans in the most reluctant way especially to my bff, we werent in the teary eyes or drama kind of saying goodbye to each other but the melancholy was filling the air obviously. Melancholy towards a buddy whom i wont have chance to see again in the short coming future, and also bidding farewell to a lovely town that i spent more than 24 hours in.
But of coz, i marched to the boarding room without looking back again as every steps is making me closer to a place called home.
There is a confession that i wanted to confide and of coz, i share the thought with Kh sometimes and as usual, he understand but still, his word doesn't give a long term effect to mollify the thought that agitate me from time to time.
I miss US life! how shameful am I to shout this out loud! i am the one who was being such a noisy brat keep saying i wanted to be home earlier but now i was noisy the other way round. So I conclude it as I dont want to leave US permanently but i just need a home leave. Haha! I miss US so badly that i can relate everything in my life now with it..I looked at my apartment swimming pool and couldnt help thinking, I had a better pool view looking out from my hotel's window, the angmo bikini in any color you can named of, the occasionally german party at the pool side.. the chilly wind outside that makes me sneaked into my thick snowy white comforter craving for little bit of warmth..the giant burger that i could never finished alone, I swear i could do it now. not to mention the MCD burger in malaysia and US, they are totally in huge disparity. The shopping and the breathtaking countryside view, the systematic traffic layout, everything is so perfect but apparently everything comes with its trade off, I have no family there.
i know it is the best time and almost the most effective way for you to learn growing up and fend yourself when you are totally alone. I can feel myself constantly changing in US, but in here...I just cant. Things are moving so slow here that every cell in me just yelling want to change! i need a change! i need to do something different that makes myself feel different. I miss those days when i continue felt myself inspired and refreshed by new things and thought around me.
what a shame. I am still the one who keeps complaining in her blog, sitting in the same old cube and waiting to be busy again.