Monday, November 29, 2010

Happy thanksgiving '10

This is the first time I ever plop my calender for thanksgiving day.

As I spent most of my time dealing with the US counterpart this year so I was aware when all of them taking a long leaves to celebrate the big day.

anyway, I had a good thanksgiving this year too. And I believe he was too.

I am glad both of us made the effort to be at home earlier to prepare the dinner together. :)

Our scrumptious black pepper steak, which is also our first attempt on grilling steak.

WAHHAA! besides from the delectable steak that made up my day, this constipated look surely does the same effect on me as well!

Monday, November 22, 2010

marathon effect

My whole body is aching today, from the shoulder to my shank, every muscle is torn when i move, this is one of the reason i hate exercising especially hiking, running and cycling, not only the fatigueness and dizziness when trying to work out but also the aftermath that it caused.

But despite from all the detriment, one thing good about it is, queensbay carpark has lots of empty lot yesterday!!I think the whole penang must have joined the marathon and half dead at home.

* This space is honorary reserved for my certificate!!!!*

Friday, November 19, 2010

Toilet talk

For some women dignity reason, i was holding my helm not to blog this out for sometimes but it happens today again and it is getting my nerve now that i no longer can adhere my patience.

I hate the toilet in level 3!!!!!!!

I have no idea why people like to say women's room is clean, tidy and palatable to visit compares to guy's, albeit i dont really have many male's room to step into and prove myself but i really used to think guys room is dirty, 365 days except if their mum dropped by to help them tidy, or if they are old enuf would be the wife or the gf gua. Anyway that impression kind of encrust in my mind la, picture the room must be cluttered with the dirty clothes scattered across the floor, not to mention the imagination that works coherently with the sense that can even tickle our mind to imagine the condense odor of their dirty blanket that left unwashed for months, and not to mention the toilet! Ewwwww...their toilet bowl must be smeared with some poo poo stain and the clammy floor has some gluey moss or lime inclines to make you fall flat on your faces.

i didnt say this out of contempt for guys, but i really had bad encounter to a friend's house once that the whiff of stinky smell coming out from his room almost made me lose consciousness. =____=. Anyway, that is not my point. trust me, I am not in my fuming rage now though the
incident i encountered just now almost made me pee in my pants.

Ok. Back to the story. i just want to say, girls nowsaday can be eerily diry too! not all, but some of them.

not the first time that I am so " suei" to see the yellow urine stain sprinkle on the toilet seat T____________________T

GOSH!! my drawing sux to max!!!!!!!

And sometimes when you were waiting patiently for your turn as every room is occupied, and there comes out a swanky, decent look sweet lady from one of the room, so you dash into the room because you cannot hold anymore, but what makes you washed out immediately is nothing but the toilet bowl that was wetted on the seat and that moment i really wish to have a gun and kill myself right away.But since i dont have the gun, i would have to stoop my intergiry really low pulling out as many piles of toilet paper, and helped wiping off the liquid.FML.
As for now, I still dont believe myself doing this! how if the paper is not thick enuf that the liquid infiltrate through the paper and touch my finger!!!!!!!!
But most of the time, tis is what i do, i would just tip toe to avoid my butt touching the disgusting surface. And that require a little bit of skill *ehem* to not touching the surface while not dropping your waste on the seat as well.

but there are time when you are lucky enuf, somebody would come out from another room and you can manauveur to another room...but serioisly i dont have this quirk of luck very often. haha

Since my subconscious was really conscious on this kind of situation, i will always make sure myself to double check the bowl or seat to see if it is clean enuf for the next user. not because i am such a good clean girl but I was afraid of people like me who would remember forever the person who came out from the toilet room leaving a stain on the bowl!

I duno why i am writing such a dimwit post, some more the disgusting scene etched in my head now la! How to get rid of it!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Nothing particularly interesting happened recently, weekend is always busy keeping up with the new house renovation progress and family, while night time was bustling with works and reviews.

Leaving those aside, I am still anticipating the coming of every weekend, though it will recursion on the same boring stuff like renovation and works but at least I still have midnight by the end of the day not fretting to wake up late on the next day, i have been doing stuff that i really love doing and making me happy when everyone asleep, like trying out the food recipe.

Come to think of it, i have vague memory of watching a movie in the cinema. How does the popcorn taste like? does it still have the caramel flavor? And I don't know how I did it to keeping up with the "HOT" magazine in border previously, but i couldnt find just one hour for it now.

anyway, regardless of the hecticness, I still manage to snatch half an hour sometimes to prepare the dinner and that is the only fun thing that gleams my day.

here is one of the new dish I added into my recipe book recently - the chinese chow mian.

I almost capture the familiar taste of my hometown chow mian that I miss dearly but apparently some of the ingredients are still missing to make it perfectly taste the same. :(

Friday, November 12, 2010

Best Kimchi fried rice in town!

* narcissistic mode ON*

Today I used my remaining homemade Kimchi to cook a simple dinner for him and yung yung. Believe it or no, they are simply delectable!*smug*

Since i am totally in the korean mood now, i lolled in my couch and switch the remote to the Korean movie called " Style" but as usual, that movie nearly made me bored to the max. I didnt follow the movie closely but i happened to watch the first episode and since then, I kept on wondering why they ask this guy to be the main actor???? Does korean deprive of handsome actor now? =S Isn't Korean or Japanese movie always prefer a better looking guy instead of chubby, round and old one? if not, at least the eyes should have an even size gua since the plastic surgery in korean is so well-known.:S

aiya..I dont know la.. please judge yourself.

Should I even be ready?

*Heads up to whoever reading this, this is a private post so if you are going to read, please don’t be judgmental*

maybe I am started to feel free or what. i really have lots of time for my blog now.

Anyway, I am not trying to pinpoint anything nor anyone saying they didnt do their duty well. I just want to vent my despair, I just want to feel liberate again!(why should I explain? I dont know..haha)

There are times like this time, when I am stale and having times to ponder over my future, my mind will mechanically reload back itself on our problem that we never weary to avoid facing it, and once I started to accelerate the engine and let the issue slowly infiltrate into me bits by bits, i will feel the same old agitation, lost and even questioning the worthiness again.

To thread towards a wedding, I must say I have lots of requirements to please. And yes, some people are always judgmental and kept asking me " you said you are not prepared do you mean you don’t love him?" HELL NO!

I love this guy whom I know will stand by me no matter what happen, laminate me through the rains and fall ( or maybe not everytime =.= ), and most importantly he always seems to have the psychic power to read me.Simply because I know he understand me and yet still deliberately procrastinate the commitments that had promised for years,hence that is when it started to make me feel that maybe I am not ready for a marriage at all.

To born as a Christian, I always want to live in Christian life and I want my husband to be one too. I am not afraid to say, and i dont care if you think i am too demanding or despotic, but everyone has their chance to choose what they want in their life. And before we get along together, he had made that promise that it is something that he will commit, by free will. And merely if he wants to.

But seriously, what fretted me now is a part of me knows I can’t tell if this is true anymore.

I never like to act like a pushy partner who keep on reminding her partner of what he should do and what's not because I want to hold to my principle, that somebody who seriously wants to do it will eventually do it. No force, no push and of coz something that you perceive through an argument isn’t as genuine as its original intention anymore. But sometimes, it does get to my nerves that I need to give a push and query, but as usual the answers will always be " i was busy..." " i was doing this and that..." " i was going to do it..." blah blah. I know we are getting too complacent with our life sometimes that we forgot what is important and start taking thing for granted, and I am fear of knowing the fact that I dont want to start a fight so I will always keep myself busy to shun the same topic that rile us up again.

But, a part of me was protesting and saying this is unacceptable, this is nonsense. If no time, make time!

we, both of us, to be honest, had indeed spent too much time on work. He and I worked from morning to sometimes midnight and even he had to report to office during weekend for the whole day which doesn’t seem healthy anymore. I hope his hard work paid off well.

Honestly I don’t feel good to complaint, and it doesn’t make me remotely happier even after I vent. But i just hate a moment like this when I am having some time to reflect on my life, and the schmaltzy side of me suddenly pop out and conjure up the reality again.

In this moment. Nothing seems right anymore.

The story of my ex

I decided to change my title to something more intellective.

But she might not stay long enough to witness the end of the world, which is 2012..emm..or 2011?

Anyway, "If the shoes fit" served her master well for the good 3 years and it is time to withdraw from reality, officially. As her ungrateful master thought her name is too trite to continue considering many aspects like feng shui and ba zi (translate in Chinese please) and she isn’t making much sense to anyone, or maybe except me.

So to commemorate the respectable "if the shoes fit" I shall reveal the story behind its title.

"If the shoes fits" is named after a movie I watched when I was in pre-puberty age and I can't really recollect what year was the movie taken place. But that is a very emblematic love story that a poor girl like Cinderella except she didn’t have a wicked stepmom but replaced by a very great mom who worked as the dressmaker. So ultimately Cinderella met with a heartthrob charming rich guy and they fell in love. The falling in love didn’t happen without any solid reason to justify, actually the girl was wearing a dress that her mum tailor-made and that made her standout because her mum is a great tailor and can make cloth that you cant see whether the dress is branded/not branded and make people fail to distinguish if u are poor or rich. Anyway, I made it up when I was in age 12. So they fall in love and the girl started to cringe in shame with her meager background status and having a mother( maybe the father died early so i only remembered the mum.) who was old and poor. So she didn’t want the guy to know her background and played lots of antics to hide it. So the cliché storyline involves telling people the mum was not her mum but her servant, something like that. Audibly that hurt her mum’s feeling and she finally dawned with consciences and realize the big mess she threw and eventually trying to break up with the guy because she felt herself too small to claim a tie of kinship with the guy in such a high social status but of coz la, the happy ending always end with the guy didn’t mind and they lived happily ever after.

dozeeeeddddd ooofffffff yyyeeet?????????

Anyway, I kind of like the movie because that was the first time I ever imagine what if I have such a wonderful love story and I can live like a princess with my prince charming in my castle forever and ever.

Good thing is...the reality doesn’t run too far this time when I grew up.

I have a my prince caring – CHECK

I am still my mum's little princess though i am way too old to call " little" –CHECK

All are right, EXCEPT

My prince caring isn’t charming enuf carrying his singular abdominal that gets rounder –UNCHECK!UNCHECK!UNCHECK!UNCHECK!!

and too bad, i don’t have a castle. :'(:’(:’(

What a slothful morning with the drizzly long-winded rain.

So you think i am going to talk about my ex-bf? OF COZ NO!

-The end-

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Life sucks sometimes

If they were just a sheer coincident, then I would chop my head down for the sacred oblation.

Every time when I extol on how wonderful my days was merely when I felt good that day, some busket thing would surely come along my way rile me up and make me felt like a shithead again. Seriously I was totally awed and amused with that quirk of fate that so ever precisely chose its timing to crush the optimist me entirely. EVERY SINGLE FXXKING TIME.

I was amassed with a gust of motivation and feeling all positive that day so therefore posted the happy post and just the day after the night of the post, my day had changed abruptly in 360 degree like being thrown off the cliff. Dont get me wrong, I might excessively make it sound catastrophic but come to think of it, nothing disastrous ever happened, at least it didn’t manage to happen at last but the process of waiting for it to happen caught me off guard for a short interim and ensuing with a day of complete bad mood.

So here is the case, I was waiting for my architect to approve on my meeting schedule the night before until I dozed off around 1am. Which make sense as 1am is US time 9am(day light saving happen on last Sunday!) and most of the people were heading to the daily meeting and left the laptop heating up in cube. As usual, trouble is the mind best friend as i shouldn’t be fretful at all. I should have taken my sweet time hit my bed early especially when I bought the new mattress and let everything sort out their way. But I didn’t. And this is so like me. Yes, i did feel sheepish after besieging in own emotional dispute that gave me a bundles of weird and scary dreams again. Whole night long!! On the next day, I was literally jump out from my bed when my alarm rang and fumble to my laptop in grogginess checking for the email reply and I did get what I want but on the other hand, I was receiving a hostile email from somebody and I hate receiving/reading such email early in the morning because it basically sucks me to max.

Speaking of bad experience.

My friend was rambling about nobody accompany him for dinner/lunch and the whole world dumped him without any better reason but just swoosh and disappear when he ask for having a meal together. It reminds me of somebody when that somebody had a very scornful character that basically makes everyone despise him, I never talked to him before so i cant judge, but imagine typing your name in google and search, how many entry that matches your name can you find? too bad, i only had 1:( So this guy..he has 1,2,3, ....7...10 ..or 98654348904 entries that he was the protagonist in all the stories which basically give people a perception that he is mentally disorder or split personality kind of freak. So backstory, my friend isnt that extreme compare to the legendary one (I love this word, legendary, regards after one blogger who wrote on that somebody)or maybe not even a little like him. But he is like a wimpy little kid that crave for people companion, care and this gives me a goosebump anyway:S. A big size person like him but looks really small to me, i dont demean him but I simply mean, he looks like a little brother. So dont get me wrong. he is rambling about his life and blah blah...not the first time i heard but definitely the first time I divulge my heart out so barely that I didnt know if I hurt his delicate little heart or...maybe pride. Anyway, i was asking him to grow up and stop whimpering like a baby. Life isnt sunshine all the days and people has no obligation to keep you company every single minute you need them unless they are true friends and family. Speaking of which, it sounds so familiar..emm..alright, i was telling myself the exact same line some while ago. Digging very very very further down my heart, I did know how does it felt like being deserted by good friends. Believe it or not, I was walking souless in ROSS shop and cooped up in my room and cried on my last day in US because I felt like isolated from the whole world as everyone always deserve a big farewell dinner on their last day, isnt it? And the saddest thing of all is....i rang him and he sounded so busy that even make me felt so wrong to be exist in this world. But anyway, not that i blamed him. Or maybe yeah, for a little :)

Anyway, depression does happen to everyone every once in a while, and sometimes you just wanted to holler for justice when people doesnt treat you like how you treat them. But come to think of it, why should you care more when it is so meager amount of care that you get in return. Dont pretend to be a saint saying you dont expect for a good return when you pour your heart and people treat it like ash. But something i learn along the way through the tumbling process of growing up, just shut all your senses to those who belittled and demean you, they dont really know who you are and not knowing you as a great person doesnt mean you have to incessantly disillusion yourself and put yourself in misery, and for those loyal confidant who stood beside me through the storms and tsunami, you have my utmost gratitude and I will always remember to be thankful, thankful and thankful!!

anyway, time to hit my bed!!OYASUMINASAI XOXO!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

A dream comes true

beauty plan #3

No matter how many times you whine for how unlucky and gloomy your days were and how you desperately wish yourself to be a tad luckier than people around you, no matter how much sigh you heave and your complaints stacked onto chunky paper, no many how many times and how that many times that you feel so jaded that you almost forgot how to love and feeling a little giddiness on the simplest thing in life. Despite from all those sour and bitter moments that sucks up your energy, you know you still have to feel glad for given another day to have the chance to be lucky again, to immerse in the joy when sun ray piercing through the blind of your darkest skies and for that tiny fleeting moment, you thank Him with the most infinite, resolute and undoubtful way for still remembering you, and for being you. :)

and I do. For so many good things that fall on me before and every now and then. I consider myself having lucky day almost every day.

And i couldnt feel luckier when i experienced the new things. And that new thing include moments when i received something that I never expect to have. and that, includes these.

Still close to my ear that my mum asked me to save my kudos voucher to buy something nice for myself like SKII product when I offered her mine. And I told her it is way impossible to buy SKII using a RM200 voucher and when i said those, I wouldnt expect myelf to be so lucky to receive this gift.

Can't thank more to his sister for all these bounty, moreover they are all sealed and brand new. Though I wasnt the first person came to her mind to give but i couldnt care much as this is indeed one of the early christmas gift that I didnt expect myself to be so lucky to have.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Til then..

I was all exhausted and restlessly tired these few days. I went home late yesterday and the first thing i did stepping into my bedroom was took 1 second to change into my smelly pajamas, hit my heavy head on pillow and slept!

without taking bath, brushing teeth and washed my face, at all.T__________T

and I am sure i was having all kind of weird dreams all night long, slept for wee hours and struggling to wake up again.... for a meeting that cancelled last minute. FML
anyway, those dreams are so weird and embarrassing that after they happened, I was encompassed by the utmost guilt and earnestly apologizing to him for thousands of time, incessantly telling him I wasn't myself at all and i was processed by some evil spirit or i was too drunk or blah blah blah... i thought i had apologized but the other conscious side of me told me i haven't and i need to do it when i wake up...

so i was struggling the whole night contemplating to apologize or not to apologize until the alarm rings me up. =.=

Today hasn't been too productive as I was taking too much time to understand something. Despite from the crazy hectic-ness, the every inch in me is jumping vivaciously for the holiday tomorrow.

I believe it will be a fun long weekend that i can recharge and revitalize myself back again.

Happy holiday and happy Deepavali, everyone!:)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Homemade Kimchi

I have good memories on Kimchi when i was in US. Talking about kimchi reminds me of a friend in US, ah fang, whom we always share to buy a big bottle of kimchi from HMart for just 6USD, and of coz my korean friend who was an intern when i was in US and recently converted( congrats!!!! ) anyway, he always packed kimchi for his lunch like almost everyday=.=. I swear i will sick of kimchi if i eat like him.@@

anyway, fang and i lamented over the difficulty of finding kimchi if we were back to malaysia. And that was true until i knew how to make it myself!*smug* (but of coz many thanks to gab's recipe:))

Everything doesn’t happen so fast as I was too lazy to make it at first, instead I tried to buy it from Jusco but guess what, 400ml of kimchi was selling at RM10.60 in Jusco!! so i abruptly gave up the thought and tried making it on last

Saturday and waited the whole paste taking the 2 full days to ferment until i store them up in fridge.

Honestly, I think my first kimchi wasn’t 100% perfect as I added too much ginger as the smell is strong but overall, I am really happy with the outcome. I expect a failure in first trial but they came out all good and tasted just like kimchi though with ginger smell:p

So tonight I use it to do the kimchi jigae that i craved for long long time.

and for the first time also, i was trying out my own recipe to cook the japanese pork mayonnaise that i always love to order if going to Yataimura.

Indeed, nothing gives more sheer happiness than doing the thing I really love and knowing that I have learnt something new again.

P/S : Forgive my laziness to post the recipe as I always estimate the amount of the ingredient base on the portion i would make. Anyway, i will try my best to give you guys the best estimation. ^^

Ingredient A:
(a).1kg chinese cabbage
(b).one bowl of coarse salt ( I use the fine salt anyway)

Ingredient B (Kimchi paste):
(a). 3 table spoons of red pepper flakes( depends on how spicy you want your kimchi to be)
(b). 2-3 table spoons of rice flour/plain flour/corn flour
(c). 2 table spoons of sugar
(d). 7 cloves of garlic
(e). 1 yellow onion
(f). a quarter to half of ginger
(g). 2-4 bunch of spring onions
(h) 2-4 tea spoons of fish oil (sand lance sauce, any brand will do)
(i) 1 medium radish(julienned)

1. Separate each cabbage leaves from its core

2. sprinkle the salt on each leaves ( some of the people use the method of soaking the peered leaves in the salt water, any method will do:))

3. leave the salted cabbage leaves sit still for 3-4 hours.

4. put the flour into a skillet, pour 3 cups of water and add in the sugar. Cook the mixture in medium fire, when it formed a starch, lifted it away.

5. Blend the garlic, onion and ginger in food processor.

6. stir in (5), radish, red hot pepper flakes, fish oil into (4).

7. After 3-4 hours, rinse off the salt on each leaves under running water( repeat it 2-3 times). And remember to squeeze the leave to properly drain the salt water.

8. cut the cabbage into bite size.

9. mixed the wilted cabbage into (6) and put them into container.

10. leave (9) in room temperature for 1-2 days for the kimchi to ferment.

11. tada! you are done and store the kimchi into the fridge.