Thursday, December 22, 2011

2011 solstice day

Solstice day always pang me with a stream of consciousness of how fast the time slipped through you like a sneaky thief!

This year solstice day is quite meaningful to me as this is the first year I celebrate it with my parents ever since they moved to Penang, it supposed to be last year but I dont quite remember why we skipped it.

anyway, today is still a day when I have so much laughter with so many people I loved around me, albeit the day was started ugily with a little argument with him. But the gloomy day was finally cheered up with so many cold jokes, the silly conversation, the gathering that comes in and brighten the remaining days like the gleaming of sun after the rainstorm.

me and my gang went to canton-i to celebrate the solstice day. Just to make this day a tad different by having something better.

Another good year finally comes to its end, leaving so many memories pieces for me to savor and hopefully next year will be as good as this year:)

This year doesnt have fen's mum tang yuan but lucky thing is, I have cat's mum's tang yuan! Thanks to all the great mama!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

They give her a name, the name is "Shermaine".

They give her a name, a name that called "Shermaine". We have discussed about her for so many months and now we finally see how does this Shermaine really looks like. :) No more guessing, no need to crack your head to imagine anymore! She is right here in the world!

I wanted to pen this post gingerly and hopefully oneday it can still reminds me of every detail, even the trivial detail of how this beautiful beautiful baby come to this world and the joy it brings me. It is not my daughter of coz but my good friend huei fen's baby girl. And fen, I hope after 10 years when i read back this post, we are still good friend:)

The feeling is inexplicably complicated, a mixed of anxious, excitement and happiness, intertwined like the convoluted vines as seem the hangover after taken the extacy pills. I believe the parents felt the formidable joy more than anybody else. I had the similar excitement when ky delivered her baby a year ++ ago and now it is fen's turn. When it was KY's turn last year, she called me in the midnight and said she was in the middle of packing her stuff as she needed to admit immediately. I felt the exact worries and happiness that I felt now when fen smsed me in the midnight saying she needed to be admitted due to emergency case. To be true, my heart really skipped a beat but i was really anxious to see the little baby! Imagined that we have been waiting together with her for 8 months, seeing her tummy growing bigger and bigger and learning new parenting skill every day. At the moment like this, you just have to admit that life is a miracle, and love creates that miracle. It felt like yesterday that we knew each other, when everyone just graduated from high school. and slowly all of them were getting married, pregnant and having child.

I understand so little about how a mother felt in the past, i remembered so many times when i was in primary school until secondary school, whenever after lunch or dinner when everyone sitting at the round table, my mum will start to tell us on how painful the delivery process would be, and from her explanation, I believe it was an excruciating pain that is unbearable, but i dont quite get the meaning behind the story or figured how much joy we brought to our parents when they saw our little finger,and how much pain we caused them when we started to grow up and having the thought that we can do better without their guide and advice and we start to retaliate on every things they said, and everything they want us to do. ( but of coz, we have the time when we were right too!). and when i am at this age now, an age that if i were lucky, i might have 2 little rascals running around me, I started to feel even more for my old parents that they have been sacrificed too much for my brother, sister and me, especially my mum. Giving birth is the responsible of a mother, and you cant share this burden with the father, but the father can definitely share so much love to the mother. I looked around my friends and I am so glad that all the guys seem to know what to do and I really felt very happy for my girlfriends (except....)

I thank God for every good things that He makes it happens. Nobody says that this is a easy process, every little babystep is tedious but fen, you made it happened. I am so proud of you!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Random stuff

The bf saw an advertisement last week that Turf club was opened for public on the weekend and asked me fervently to go and said that it was like one of his dream to visit the turf club, and also trying to sell me off with some ideas of how interesting the event would be. Anyway, I wasnt that keen with the shows but I decided to give the photography passion a warm up after cool off for sometimes.

Early in the morning,( not quite actually, around 10) we went to Farlim to have dim sum for breakfast. I was grumbling for a few weeks that I miss the dimsum there dearly and boldly claimed that this is the best dimsum in Penang. Actually I am not a big fans of dimsum myself but I would crave for this dim sum and I just realize that the last time I had the Farlim's dimsum was like 3 years ago. I thought it wasnt that long, but the bf was protesting that I didnt take him to this nice nice dimsum but I thought i did. So we were arguing and hoping with all bits and pieces, we could put out a date of when was the last time we ever came to Farlim for food. So 3 years ago it is!

yea, they do provide more choices of sauce than any other dimsum restaurant :)

To our delight, the dimsum still ranks the best in penang ! (just my sheer opinion).Better than Max dimsum, better than the dimsum near kimberly street, better than any dimsum I have tasted so far in penang, especially the one that near my house, that was rank no.1 from bottom.

Anyway, we didnt manage to visit the Turf club, we steered our way there and peeping from outside like stalker but it looked so quiet and quiescent so we drove to Gurney to spend the MPH voucher that i redeemed on some scrapbook material. The scrapebook had been a trend these few years and it had become one of my hobby when I am free but this is quite time consuming so I only do it during festive season. Will post some of my works on my next post.

Stay Tune!


guess what, I was having diarrhea yesterday and so as the bf.

Early of the night, I was haunted by bunch of weird dreams that all of them were related to toilet, like I was heading to a toilet room and somebody barge into my way and snatched my toilet room. And in another dream, I was in a meeting and suddenly my stomach cramped and so painful that I just couldnt hold any longer and passed in the meeting room and everyone was looking at me in a gross look.

finally it must be one excruciating stomach pain that woke me up and made me rush to the toilet. Ever since then my tummy felt so uncomfortable that I suspected I might had taken food that wasn't compatible to my stomach. I remembered my bowel was really clean and over healthy last time that it cannot tolerate slightly filthy food, so I had food poisoning very often in the past, and the most serious one was i blacked out for a while in the toilet and had my friend send me to the hospital after that. But ever since i came to Penang to work, I had trained my digestion system to be stronger until one stage that everyone get the food poisoning and I am the only one still survive, for example there was one time that me, woon and lee huey went to Kayu for my favorite maggie goreng. Then the next day both of them were telling me that they had diarrhea and I was constipated for 2 days! how sad. So I kinda feeling blessed that I finally had a thorough detox now. haha.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Good Friday

I love to hang out with a bunch of friends and crack the stupid joke, and I also love spending quality time hanging out with friends in 3-4 where we will never fret of our topic to dry and nothing to chat. And sometimes I love having time going out alone with a friend, just the 2 of us. But the wonderful of being all alone with a friend is, we shares heart together. Shared some very personal thoughts, about life, friends, works and love. And I found it hard to find chance come out 1 to 1 with a friend at our age since most of the people are attached.

Most of our lunch gang made their plan today, and it had been quite awhile that I didnt hang out with mang, alone. We decided to spend the long hour lunch together, had a really nice and expensive food in a cozy environment like Berlin restaurant, chatting away the lovely afternoon.

loving the cozy ambient in Berlin:)

The sinful bratwurst sausage.

To shun the heavy traffic on Friday evening, we decided to swim at Regency Height before heading back home. I know swimming is the most effective way to keep fit but I don't enjoy swimming as the pool water is normally cold. After the excessive exercise, we drove to Chai Diam Ma at Georgetown to have our dinner. I saw from my friend's picture that she visited a very exquisite and obscure cafe in Town called Chai Diam Ma, so I ardently urge my friends to go there and have a try.

The food wasn't very appealing but the place exudes its artistic dexterity as every corner is delicately adorned with artistry painting and carving handwork, which is something that i adored too.

The handcrafted accessories was for sale and they were placed as seem like hang inadvertently was pretty expensive too.

This corner is another photography spot that portray a strong christmas season feel.

If you ever visited this cafe at night, you will hear the live band music coming from the second floor, but you would need to pay extra RM15 as the entry fee to upper floor. But it didnt move us a bit to pay that RM15 to go up since we can hear the band music very clearly from ground floor.

Monday, November 28, 2011

relaxing over weekend, love it!

November and December are always my favorite months of a year since we have averagely one public holiday every 2 weeks span. And this weekend is another long holiday where I got to spend my time doing things I really love. Photography, family, culinary, and of coz christmas shopping.

On Saturday, PDI offered the storewide 50% discount offer, me and ladies in my family were really anxious and managed to grab some clothes for cny. This was the second time I joined the PDI big sales but I didnt find too many deal that suits me this time. But it was nice as I get to spend time shopping with the ladies. After Queensbay, we adjoined to strait quay for Popular bookstore sales and had some walk. If shopping brings a great pleasure to us the ladies, then going for bookfair is nevertheless my dad's favorite activity.

and I bought the chasing bulb from the flea market in Strait Quay too since christmas is approaching really soon and we realize our old chasing bulb was burnt when we hung it up on christmas tree.

I bought the Cuisinart kitchenware when I was on my business trip last year and gave to my friend who was on her relocation trip since they have shipment. After waited for a year, I finally get my kitchenware back from US. So kh and I decided to give our first trial on Korean fried Chicken. The outcome is surprisingly delectable and the process of making is super easy too. :)

It had been quite awhile I didnt get to spend time on things I really love, weekend was always hectic and eventful..but this week the weekend seems to be a tad different than the usual one, I wasnt able to describe what was the differences but I am happy, really. And I think that is all that matters.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving '11

Today is thanksgiving day which is not a legal holiday in Malaysia but for most of the country,this is one of the biggest celebration for a year. Like my counterpart, they probably were sitting round their tables having wine and gulping turkey now. And for my friends who were on business trip to US they probably squeezing themselves in the mall or outlet for the crazy crazy sales! remember my shopping list ya!

anyway,a little history of thanksgiving for those who doesnt know about it,but apparently my knowlegde is too scarce to share too much too. So here is the brief one, thanksgiving day is a celebration for rejoicing their thankful heart to God for the good harvest throughout the whole year, it always fall before the end of the year and exactly a month before the Christmas day. People takes a day off to give themself a good treat after working hard for the whole year and reward themselves for a day of feast and rest with the family.

This is a tradition that we dont get to have in Asia country, we have labour day every year. But our way of celebrating the labor day is different, for asia, given another holiday is like giving ourself another day to shop. But we dont really sit down on the table reminiscing with the rest of family of what we have done for a year, or thank God for another good year without any disaster or thankful for the best health of everyone.

Yesterday, he drove me back from Intel and suddenly he turned to me and said " thank you for being there for me for another day". We dont feel thankful everyday, we took thing for granted. But i can see that he practice his thankful heart better than me.

Thank you for loving the incomplete side of me.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone:)

Turkey, anyone?

Thursday, November 24, 2011


昨天放工和一班朋友约好到1st avenue看最近打得很红也获得很多好评的"那些年,我们一起追的女孩". 一直以来,我都很爱台湾制作的单片,像 “海角七号”, 像“孟钾“。都是很好看的单片。台湾一直都善于制作比较贴近生活化的戏, 香港戏就少了一份纯朴还有细腻, 所以看香港戏还是选些警匪片看好, 或许香港的演员不是看起来太好就是太坏,所以极端的戏码比较适合他们。台湾人的脸都是一幅“普通好人脸“, 好啦,我是胡扯的。

说真的,我不相信有谁会看了“那些年”后评论说这是一部烂片。或许对某些人来说这只是一个超平凡的青涩故事,男女主角因为某些事情而不能携手到老,错过了对方, 但不会有人看了会说不喜欢, 因为实在的,这部戏拍得非常美, 论角度,论颜色,论男女主角, 论配角,论故事情节,这部可算是一步超赞的电影。甚至胜于海角七号。很多小小的地方九把刀导演都不会错过的把它填补上去,很细腻,很仔细,也很窝心。

而对很多很多人来说,尤其是过了青春期我们,“沈佳宜“或是“柯景腾“就像是诉说了自己的故事般贴切。就像有人评的,每个男孩心中都有他的“沈佳宜“, 或许他们曾经扮演的或许不是"柯景腾"的角色,或许他们是“阿和",“老曹”,“勃起” 或是“该边”,但他们都有自己的沈佳宜。 柯景腾比较难找但不能说没有。 可是如果你有的话,你会对这部戏更有共鸣。

那天我和两个好友谈到自己的“柯景腾“和"沈佳宜", 有的不是后悔也没有太多的遗憾,毕竟现在首在我们身边的都是珍惜我们也值得被珍惜的人。只是想起了他们,应征了我们的年轻,我们的热血轻狂,也记载了我们的笨拙和无知。

往退后走在回忆的隧道,我想起了很多被遗忘了的感动。为我青春留下不少烙印的“柯景腾“, 拔助我成长的“柯景腾“,相信吗,我每天都希望他现在过的还好。

这部戏的好看其实就在于它的缺陷美是非常贴切与我们生活所发生的一些琐事,因为自己的某些执著和无理而改变命运的写照, 如果结局真的太好,或许就不那么写实了。生活毕竟不都是因为一些遗憾而让你更加回味吗?

其实我真的觉得自己还蛮幸运的,至少我知道自己曾经是某某的"沈佳宜", 也有陪着自己走过青春道路的"柯景腾".


在回忆里兜了几圈回来, 我想起了许多事情. 女孩生命中的"柯景腾"还有男孩生命中的“沈佳宜“ 只要一个就够了, 因为毕竟这是一份缺陷, 如果有选折.我还是比较喜欢看到结局在完美下落幕..

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

white hairs

I am feeling extremely uneasy and disturbed with the fact that kh helped me to pull out 10 white hairs today!

I really have to admit that i am biologically getting older now:( and remind myself dont be so easily flattered by what others said that they thought i am 23/24!!! They are such a liar!!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Maid of honor

I was sitting in my cube today with a myriad of pensive thoughts scurring through my head, back and forth. Most of the time, it was the same old picture of my friend's smiley face. I am still emersed in the melancholy mood, but not as intense as yesterday. I am still feeling unsettled today, but i was able to shun her image running into my head. the old memory, the bike, the ride on the swing at the park in front of her old house, the midnight virgil that we attended sometimes .

Tonight I dont want to walk down that memory lane anymore.please.

no matter how, I need to pull myself out from this shit that i felt.

so lets talk about something nice. Perhaps a succinct recap of my experience being the maid of honor last friday.

It was my forth time being a maid of honor.and I believe this will be my last time too, until I had myown wedding and literally let go the right of being one. They always say a girl can only have 3 chances to be a maid of honor but I am not superstitious.

my friend had her wedding at Hard Rock hotel and she was in hyperventilation state for the whole week prior to her wedding. It was more like racing with time than enjoying the whole process, maybe that is how every bride feels, all keyed up and tensed the whole time until the wedding is over. Anyway, as her maid of honor, I was in a bundle of nerves also! Sofia is a perfectionist and I wouldnt want to let her down if something runs off the rails. So to make sure I didnt screw her perfect plan, me and fen went to HR at 330pm, met with her wedding planner, settled our makeup and went to the hall made sure all the CD format she prepared was supported by the hotel cd player. And apparently things didnt work so well in the beginning but luckily it was all dandy after the hassles.

Despite the jittery throughout her wedding, i was actually feeling a great sense of achievement and honor to be somebody's maid of honor. It must be some kind of trust for you that they wanted you to be the one who could walk with them on their big days, I hope my bride's maid and maid of honor feel this too on my big days:P and this will be my little prayer tonight.

I googled the maid of honor's checklist the day before and the google even showed me "Bridesmaid's 101", i wonder if they have something like " Bridesmaid's guide for dummy" or anything that sounds more dummy. I didnt go through the whole list because i believe the
checklist with 100++ items are actually prep you to become a professional bridesmaid or super

for me, being a bridesmaid is about....

1. Being photogenic. EHEM! Taking picture in the hotel with great view, especially HR hotel that you dont normally come and stay a night for vacation. And dont forget to use the bathroom too!!!

2. Being observant! Spot anything that is nice and special, and of coz take a picture with them

3. Participating. Join in any process! see...I was "supervising" the baloon maker...verrrryyy responsible!==

4. Being supportive! Maid of honor is the bride's best supporter and you have to follow whereever she goes! For example, the bride's busy fixing her laptop and the bridesmaid has to give her full support!!

Aiya, I really made a good maid of honor!!!Good night!

Sunday, November 20, 2011






但, 现在再也没有机会了。

想不到今天 却是你最后一个消息。我很后悔。真的。我可以做得更好的, 你会怪阿加吗?

我好想拨点话给你, 复回你那天的来电。听听你的声音。看看你是否想对我说些什么,有寂寞吗?不要觉得孤单啊。

记得初中一时,因为插班生的关系, 我知道自己应该要主动交朋友。
下课时,刚好你和我都留在教室里,我于是就拍了拍你的椅子,你转过头来,我楞了一下,还是鼓起勇气伸直了手出来,大声地说(你后来告诉我我的声音真的很大)“我叫++, 你叫什么名字?“

“我叫mei mei" . 你笑了笑说。很斯文。很小声。

算了算我们认识了十六年了, 虽然只有两年的同窗岁月(过后我又转校了)。但那两年里,我都时不时往你家里跑。

我们不算是属于同一个圈子的朋友,但我们两个都很好。你的笑点很高,我随随便便说什么, 你都很捧场的笑。

mei, 这么多朋友里,你是我见过最温柔,最温驯,也是最羞涩的。




我问你好吗,你说只能这样,不算好。。看到别人吃些好吃的东西,你很馋, 却要忍住。头发掉了很多,医生也说你的癌细胞散播的很快。。



我无声。但默默的在心里祈祷。不要担心啦。。你很乐观的说。真的看得出来你很坚强,或许只是隐藏, 但看得出开你已接受。

那天的我们 还是聊了很久。 我要上机时,你对我说你很开心,下次见面再聊吧。

今天,我的生活还在继续。你却走了。 我希望世界可以停下脚步,时间可以停止下来, 为你走的这一天。




Friday, November 18, 2011


那天他突然对我说不知道为什么,不管你起薪还是没有 薪水还是永远不够用。对哦,我也有同感也。最近大家都在计划明年到哪里旅游,毕竟很久都没有一帮人一起去旅行,听到时心真的超痒的。旅行哦,还是牛西兰也,不心动吗?可是明年确定的旅行计划里已摆放台湾还有日本,还有结婚呢?我真的希望我老爸是印钞票的,我想我老爸应该也希望他自己是印钞票的。:P 呵呵。
想了想,还是忍痛割爱了,银行的账本书上的数字加到都没有减来得快,所以那天阿猫通知我们公司股票破了25点,我才紧张的找出了遗忘已久的密码决定卖出股票,飞哥说的对,留来干嘛,看到却摸不到的数字不叫做钱, 对哦!雯妹也说的对,卖了就有可以看到钱啦!我真的发钱疯了。。。好不容易进到ubs时,股市已关闭。可是明天开时要卖多少呢?现在是25.3, 还是放27, 28吧,高老文跳出来说放这样高,小心卖不出,好咯,那就26吧, 突然阿芳又杀出来, 这样高,小心卖不出!。。>.< 好吧好吧,那就25.7吧。某某又不懂从那里飘出来,还是太高!! 天啊!!! 那就25.5吧!!

还好,还好。。。应该有hit到25.5, 所以还是卖出了。然后昨天看, 哇赛!又跌了个4++点, 下到24++点 , 然后今天有起了个0.71+.哇!受不了!还好还好。。。 不是放到这样贪心,不然数字还是数字。 :)

Friday, November 11, 2011


麻木, 我不能控制但却一点一点地注入我。曾经我们有的是很多人盼都盼不到的感情。好朋友,好姐妹, BFF, 好过,争执过,冷淡过,摊牌过,和好过。。但当同一个节奏在反反复复的重播过,说真的。。 我是真的吃不消了. 昨夜我告诉他, 不知道为什么这次我一点失望也没有, 没有失望,没有再问自己为什么, 就什么也没有.我放倒觉得一身轻松.


我曾问我自己,及时才会麻木? 这次我真的可以看得到。自己过去真地为了这份友情执著过. 都过了.

你 和 我..

或许有天我们的朋友也会曾经忘了这两个人曾经, 真的曾经很好过.

我不能说是你的错.真的.从一开始到现在,只要你要求的一件事情,做得到的不用说,我做.做不到的事情,我也为你做.我没想过有任何一件事情, 为你,我会觉得不甘心.你要求的事情对我来说都是天经地义. 可是,就是因为这样,我希望对于我, 可以做的事情你可不可以尽量为我做一做?可以吗?但在你的字典里, 只要你觉得麻烦, 你就堵给我一大堆的借口,太多次了,我们也坦白得太多次了,我失望了又再希望,好吧..现在我也真的不觉得难过.



所以,不要再像从前... 当你有空回想我们时,再问我"为什么"..重复太多次的一出戏,我真的看累了.


Friday, July 8, 2011

gear up!

After doomed for a few days, stress and stress and stress, I am back kicking again! Though I am still stress!! I learnt a new word yesterday," emotional sponge". Actually he force me to read an article and I think it is making alot of sense.A LOT. Emotional sponge is only for people who is emphatatic, the more sensitive you are, the more you are inclining to become one. Scary ah! it sucks all the negativity from your friends, and I always have that. And fen too! so fen, listen up now. Lets stop being the emotional sponge, inhaling other people sadness la ah. Just be a good listener enough and we dont have to feel for them. Sounds mean. =.= but who cares liao la. I decided not to care too much, from now on(very resolute)...sometimes be a little bit realistic is good:D Just treat those who really treat you nice, nice. The rest, you just have to try to learn how to give before you take something from me.

put that stress-ness aside, I am fully anticipating for the trip tomorrow. The sun, the oh-not-so-nice-beach, the photoshooting....I am looking at lots of photo sample these days and I wish, (oh God please help me!) and I wish to take nice picture like how people took! *cross finger* I am all geared up for the trip! I know there are lots of issue(shits) awaiting me to do when I come back, poweron, meeting, poweron, meeting... but who cares now!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The durian's hunter

we went to hunt for durian on the last weekend, initially we thought of going to balik pulau but since nobody knew which stall is nice so we changed to have it in macalister road instead.

couple 1

couple 2

the hungry ghost month must be coming too early this year, see fred was too hungry that he decided not to let go the shell as well, issk issk

another tam chiak fello jelaking his finger

Seng's ROM

We were like the very proud parents witnessed the transformation of Kina Seng on the last Saturday. I believe it was the most important day to the couple. The world is indeed so small that wherever you go you will bump into familiar faces including your registration day where we saw another 2 couples from intel that had their registration at the same place too.

The friday traffic was a disaster especially if you intended to cross the bridge, to shun the heavy traffic queue so we could reach on time, we played the dirty trick to cut the queue and
seize the chance to cut into the line, when we stopped beside the traffic line that waiting to drive up the bridge, and preying for our victim that showed a sign of slowing down so we can cut into his line, the car that stopped beside us got very angry and roll down his window prepared to give us a middle finger or some vulgar hokkien word, kh quickly manuevear our car to the cars queued before him and successfully cut into the line, but I was blurred off and stupidly asking him why he moved away as the angry driver was just about to scold us -.- anyway besides from feeling a pinch of guilt, we felt funny thinking that the angry guy was not able to unleash his bullet and lost his coolness, the driver was really fierce la, swear I wont do it next time, I mean swear I wont let kh do it next time.

People at the ROM

we adjourned to Overtime at autocity after the ROM and had a great fun playing some silly dice game with some crazy punishment. Honestly, i didnt had so much fun for so long, life had been bored sometimes that I only have border and queensbay to spend my time.

me and cat when we were still sober, ehem, I mean me.

and I am glad su lin is finally coming back for good:D which mean I have more friends to hang out with.:D

Usually i hate drinking beer but this house beer is really nice, it tasted like some sparkling juice. I was thirsty that night and it quenched the thirst perfectly:P

The singer was pretty good too. I think she looks like fei chui from far=.=

I don't know what happen to ah mang in the photo, he seems like he is preparing to sing the anthem song or something, or maybe he was preparing to sneeze or what...=.=

it was a great night with lots of blur pic=.=

Monday, June 27, 2011

The theory of ffk-ing

This is the N time I was ffked in the late night meeting. Honestly I wasnt really bothered as I wasn't too keen to attend a midnight meeting too. I realize i never been annoyed when people ffked me, or suddenly turn down my plan last minute. Not at all. zilch. So I guess that was why I used to ffk people last minute long time ago as I thought people dont mind like how I do. But I was wrong so I made the mistake to turn down people from time to time whenever I felt lazy or tired to go out. Thus I was "honorably" crowned as " ffk queen" after that. FML. And I DON'T LIKE IT. Since I don't like it, I resolute to change and attend every outing I promised earlier, no matter what. But bad thing is, there are people who are always so bad that they will keep mentioning about the past thing without seeing how much people had changed, hello! in that case, then i will keep ffk you since you already think I am a ffked queen, what is the point of changing if people only look back? get over it la please! I really don't like narrow minded people who always talk bad about people and not knowing they are human and they do the same mistake too.

some thoughts

Recently my time passed like light trail, sometimes I felt like I only did one thing in a week, working vigorously in cube( sometimes i dont know why i spent so much time working on just one thing too!), meeting at night, I used to have that stage fright, especially talking in english. But I am doing better now * aplause! yeah, it was a great improvement la wei, sometimes it seems people dont understand what I am talking too but at least I talked. Haha..and that's matter:P

And there are many times I was convoluted with lots of pensive thoughts like I used to have, I drafted in my blog but didnt publish it. So they remain delicately in draft. But werent they the most genuine feeling I had? Probably i am not ready to put down my guard yet, I love myself to be strong, unbreakable, the happy go lucky kind of me albeit i was just masquerading it sometimes but they managed to convince me back at last.

There are uncountable moments when I have that recurring fear in me, better described as insecurity that this demon disillusioned me over the little small things that goes wrong. But i tell you what, having the fear or inedequated over something is better than you feeling contented all the time, as you incline to take things for granted and being that obnoxious person who disregard people who really care about you. But the more you do, they will come back and hit you badly I always need a moment of solitude constantly remind myself to appreciate things especially people around me.

Life has been filled with beers and gathering recently, the crazy one of coz.

I had great laugh and great fun with frens over the past weekends, we dont usually have this. But recently I just feel like to spend more time with friends, maybe I would stop doing it oneday. It is weird sometimes. I am weird sometimes. I love revealing things, especially digging to find out what is real and what is fake, some people they can laugh with you during the good moments but at your gloominess days when you cling for people to wield, you contemplated for seconds whether they are the right person to seek for. There are always a few faces that I know I would turn to whenever I need somebody to talk to, they are so nice that you just know they are the great confidant to give you constructive advice or even just a hug or a heartening word like " dont worry", " I know you will be fine"...plain simple but fully encouraging and trusting words. they dont have to be people who party with you or laugh with you, but they are always there. Like your shadow. I dont have many true friends like that. I remember having a very close friend who borrow my company settlement fee saying it was to pay for her master but end up used the money to had fun with her friends, and of coz shun me after that. I remember friends who seems to listen to you attentively but at the back, they disagree, stab and jeer at you, I remember those who no matter what you said, they would give you their contemptous comment, I remembered friends who never include you in any of their outing, but they know I would always do that for them. I had friend who never invited me when she had fun but after end of the party like 3am, I am the person she called to fetch her back because all her party friends think she lived at the other side and they stayed another side. I think I must had too many friends in my life that put me into these withering trials in life..but out of so many friends, I can only manage to think of a few faces who are really true to me. I hate this kind of self-pity mode so I am going to continue laugh like nobody business, constantly set reminder to me to stay happy and positive thinking. It is their lost after all to have lose me, right? right?

I have so many photos to post actually but I am just too lazy to do that. I didnt tidy my photo album for longggg time and all the photo are scattered around and placed in wrong folder, and not to mention there are lots of old old photo that I havent exported from my cam...I need to find time to do that.

okla, my friend ask me to go down take coffee now. Til then!

Friday, June 10, 2011

my serendipity

I had this band and it is called serendipity, it formed as brisk as wind and dismissed before you ever know its existence. Kind of sad right? But some of the moments they will forever etched in your mind even they just stopped for a while. You couldnt remember a moment so profoundly without people who resonance with you, good moments without people is forgettable, unless it is a bad moments. I had a lot of bad experiences and those that I remembered crystal clear were those that I had to face it myself, I suppose I tend to remember them so easily because at that moment, I wished I had somebody.

obviously I am just mumbling and I should have changed this title to "good vs bad moments"

it wasnt a fair game at first but it lasted with a fair one. At least it didnt defeat my principle, if I were to lose in one game, let it be lose for a good reason.

honestly, the recording quality sucks and the mic on the audition day sucks as well, and of coz la..i didnt perform the best also la..hahah..but it still worth to be a great memory=p.

I looked damn fat! but i have no motivation to kiam bui also.

though we sang "badly" but we still managed to take great picture together:P kalah tak apa, gaya mest ada!!!!!!!

Thursday, June 9, 2011




真挚, 诚恳,我知道你或你是没人能取代的。






Thursday, March 24, 2011

snowing in chicago

it started to snow at 6pm. The fluffy white snow swaying down gracefully from heaven. I was cold but all excited to catch the snow and let it melted in palm.









Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The real shopping in chicago

Finally! i am alive kicking again!

I am so glad that i responded to a friend's chat who still wide awake at 1am in Malaysia, i grumbled to him that there was nothing nice to shop here. Everything is expensive and blah he asked if i went to this outlet called Gurnee mills. Hell no! i havent! so it shed me some light of hope!

By night, we drove for around 1 hour+ to Gurnee mills, and kh said this was like going to taiping for shopping. lol.

I have bought some of the souvenirs for the girls back in Malaysia. Check it out girls! but too bad you have no chance to choose but to accept as they are specially chosen to represent you
character or what you want. So how can you choose not to be yourself?^^

The windy city

I feel safe when I stayed indoor. It was a totally 2 different zone when you stepped out from where you are. The chilly wind, I mean really really chilly strong wind. Seriously, I am daunted by the coldness i am baring now and totally hate the weather here, it is so freaking cold that you rarely have mood to walk outside enjoying the sun or whatsoever la. The sun is just helplessly shine here or may as well it just coyed behind the cloud. Since it is so powerless.

I wasted my last sunday hibernated in my hotel room. We went to chicago outlet for a walk in the morning but it was too cold and windy so i told him i ran out of my battery so we went back to hotel to rest before going out to woodfield mall. But to my surprise, I was fainted from 1++pm to 10++pm. Vaguely, i could hear him asking me to have dinner but i couldnt get myself up. So he settled the lunch box we brought back in the afternoon and finally when i woke up it was 1030pm. But my staying conscious period didnt last long enuf as I continued my sleep at 12am until the next day 8am.

I guess the weather just induced me with drowsiness.

Anyway, some recap on the only day when i was still alive.

The chicago is a really big city with extremely congested traffic, but not entirely paralyzed. This is second biggest concrete jungle city in US, following after the new york city.

Since now is end of the winter enter spring, so the trees are all dry and bald. But they still look nice though:) if only it is not that cold, i dont mind to snap more photo of it.

My friend who had been here before recommended me some of the places like michigan street, millenium park, navy pier and some of the name that i couldnt remember.

So we started with the michigan street with lots of tall building flanking along the laneway. The michigan street is too long that we couldnt finish walking to the end, so we just picked the place where we wanted to go. There were actually quite alot of shop that looks pretty nice but i was shivering to core and the bleak cold wind hurt my eyes that i have to squint them all the time.

To be honest, you really dont have to spend your time picking some nice clothes to wear because you wouldnt have chance to even flaunt them in front of the camera, but you do need a nice trench coat. And that was the mistake I made. I brought along some clothes but they are not warm enuf so end up i have to wear my coat that bought sometimes ago but inadequate to keep me warm and plus one oversized male cutting wind breaker sponsored by kh. Sigh!

if you cant imagine then this is how bulky and klutzy i looked like! i dress as if I were going to climb kk right??

But good thing is, i got to buy a new one here to transform myself. From forever 21 some more for only 30USD. ^^ my friend said the red is just so "chio" dont you think so?:P

we steered our steps to navy pier that is quite a distance away from michigan road to save some parking fee.

Navy pier is a nice place to hang out with family if only now is summer or spring. The view was just so serene that you can have a popcorn and drink and just sit there at the seaside leaving the time goes by.

time was running out by the time we left navy pier, hopefully we could cover the millenium park before i go back.*cross finger*

Saturday, March 19, 2011

First night in Chicago is nothing but jetlag

It is 348am in Chicago. After some attempt tossed and turned on the bed, failed, so I literally threw myself out from bed.

Chicago has been really windy and chilly at night. I was standing outside the airport waiting for him to pick me up, realizing I don’t even know what car number or even the color he was driving so I could spot him easily. The bleak wind eats into my skin, penetrate through every layer beneath, my face felt anesthetized, as well as every fresh exposed, but well enough to shove away the dizziness I felt after long flight. He warned me before I came, asking me to make myself warm as it would be cold here. But I just wanted to travel light and comfortable. So I thought I could abide that little cold time waiting.

But he miscalculated the time so I had to wait longer than I thought, again, unsure if I was on right pick up zone and if he was able to find me. The worse I figured was it is either I became the ice statue under this weather or I took a cab which are all the limo here to the hotel he reside. Limo sounds enticing. :)

Thank God, he found me after 15 minutes before I executed my backup plan.

I was thinking. Days ago that I am lucky, I have a promising job, I have great parents, I have great bf, great friends who can help you whenever you need them, great people around me like my boss, friends at work( though some are really mean), properties at this age, and afford to take respite to the places I was only able to look at on the tv screen. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to flaunt but I just need to say that I felt blessed and I believe so many of us was not realizing how lucky they were having people who really care about them sometimes, I did that too. I was completely a blind idiot sometimes that I crave for more and take people who loved me for granted, not realizing there are lots of people who live less than me, who might have struggling to survive like the Earthquake victim in Sentai, who probably just wishing they could be poor but their loved one survived, who probably wish they could have treated their loved one better when they were around. Human mind is sick.

And my mind used to be sick too.

I remembered my friend told me something years ago” you have a lot of suitor, and that is why you couldn’t choose”. It is better off leaving with no choice than having too many choices that baffled you sometimes. I made the wrong choice before, and I was worried it was wrong even when I made one. And sometimes I thought I could have a better one that came my way. Yes, that happened even when I was with him. I wasn’t daring to overtly confess it now if I never told him the truth before. But he had been a great man who embraces every bits of me without feeling sorry for me or living in self-pity.

Life is great, because you complete me! :X

Anyway, not forgetting i found the mr.right for my parched lips too. It is the bath and body works's lip balm that works as the breath fresher too!

Monday, March 14, 2011


我常以为如果我一个人也可以很好,可以处理所有的事情,不需依赖人, 没有要求,自由自在。一个人或许真的很好。


你离开的第一天,我忙着打扫我们的房子,发觉好像比平常多了很多的工作,比如说倒垃圾。家里的垃圾都是要自己驾车到附近的大垃圾箱倒, 还有晒衣,我总是嫌着太阳太猛 所以都是你负责晒衣,收衣甚至折衣。我喜欢买衣但是其余根衣服有关的我都嫌麻烦。

锁好时间, 好不容易等到你的早晨大家一起网上上挡时, 却觉得彼此好像陌生了。和你感到陌生是一种很奇怪的感觉,或许是我不习惯和你msn, 觉得好像和别人谈天,却不知道要谈些什么。你在银幕上给我一个笑脸,我试着把它想象成你的笑脸,却怎样也坪凑不起来。真的很奇怪。


如果这个距离可以让我想起忘了的时间,忘了要去珍惜,忘了被忽略了的失落,也许这会是一个好机会让我的感情放空,回到最起点, 然后再出发.

你的friendster's profile 照,记得吗?:)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Sometimes it just make you ponder, is this something you like to do?

When i was in primary, I just wanted to go into form 1 and the only qualification for me to get into Form 1 that year was getting straight A, so the next question was which secondary school?
but this was easy:)

and when I were in Form 3, I started to ponder again, Science or Art? but parents decided for me. So science it was. But I wanted a good class so badly, and gleefully I didnt fail my pride.

and when you were in Form 5, where should you go? Form 6 or university, that year we were left with choice to enter university directly but i love biology so fondly. And there i was opened a choice in university(technically it was just partially a university that time, it was just an engineering branch under UTM). So there i was given the advice that you might not get what you want if you stay on in Form 6.

So i left. And that was one of the big mistake i made. I should have stayed on in Form 6, but i wasnt realize i dont like engineering, not entirely hate it but just not too fond of it. It wasnt hard for me to tell what i really like but there is nothing i could do.

I love mas communication when i was away from school, leaving behind my favorite biology class.

and after I graduated, my friend encourage me to try sending resume to XX FM radio station. That day, I was holding 2 resumes in my hand. One i submitted to Intel when i saw there was a career fair, and the other one, i stood still at the main entrance of XXFM. At last, I passed my resume to the counter.

But when i reached home, i told my parents I wanted to be a DJ. Parents got very frustrated and disappointed with my confession and of cz, i got the lecturing i expected.

So i was headed north. And my journey as an engineering person started. Though I do think I will shine so brightly if I was given a choice to do what I want.

I am sorry. I still think so.

This journey shouldnt be struggling if you are doing something you really love.You were given so many choices in your life but the only decision you have to make is something that makes you really happy because you only live once.

I have learnt a lesson. A lesson that i myself only knew and for Christ sake, it will not happen to me again in the future. If I still have one.

Just holding on to what you think is right, because this is your life and you are responsible to it.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

A rabbit with pig nose

There is something that i like to holler about today!

All my friends know, at least the close one knew i was on korean movie "he's beautiful" binge 2 months ago, i was so into it that i think i was acting a little bit annoying:p

Anyway, Su lin knew about it and she bought me this from Korea! i tell you, this will be the first and only one 猪兔子 officially in Malaysia now! *drum rolls!!!*

kh knew i am never a toy person before, he always offers to buy me the toy that he likes, so he has an excuse to own them but i didnt even lift up my eyebrow. And even if he wants all the toy that people gave me, he could have them as well. But this one!!! it is MINE!!! if you want to own
it, over my dead body first!

Thanks Su lin:)

Monday, February 28, 2011

I am so angry!!

I am so angry and I felt like i am exploding anytime!
how many times do I have to hold my patience to tolerate you?
are you even a friend?
cool down cool down cool down cool down.

i wish i will learn the lesson well. never trust you, never give you a chance, and most of all, never forgive and forget how you have mistreated me!

and most of all, never treat you with kindness anymore!

but i know, next time when it happened again, I will realize that i never take the lesson well.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy spending money day!

These days are really emotionless and senseless la.
I lost my interest on cny and i lost my interest on v-day also. And i lost my interest on blogging as well. So this will be a very succinct post as i am running out of vocab nowsaday.
What have I done so far?
i worked. Worked on new house, most of the time. Worked on my office work, not really committed but still manage to close my AR on time. And I cook less now compare to the time when i still stayed at my old condo. I might not know how to cook anymore, who knows?=.=
i am money deprived now so my friend suggested me to go sell off my stock option, how can I forget that?=.=
but anyway, i have a nice house to stay in now. Though i hate the traffic on bridge and I hate knowing the fact that i have less interesting place to go now in mainland and couldnt find any italian or western restaurant in mainland as well, all are seafood restaurant and Chinese hawker stalls that doesnt interest me much.
As for the valentines day, i believe I wont have any present this year nor any celebration but it doesnt trouble me much as I am really money deprived now.
So for those who had a full wallet, happy spending money!

Friday, February 11, 2011



才前一天她还是一个到那里都需要人抱的宝宝,第二天放工回来看到她,她竟然会坐了!!而且这是第一次我觉得宝宝好像听得懂我们说的话,叫她握手和hi5, 她都照做了,虽然她看起来百般不甘愿的样子,但毕竟她还是应酬了我。我不懂是谁在她身上下了神奇的魔咒但她确实做到了。

这条路很长,我会希望当我有天走上它时, 它会是一条平顺幸福的路。


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Happy chinese new year 2011

This is the first year I dont like having the Chinese new year and I couldnt feel it at all.
There are too many reasons that makes me dislike it and I am too lazy to spill it out now.
For the continuous 3 weeks, me and kh was rushing between the mainland and island, there are too many things to settle but we only have 2 people. Luckily we got help on and off from family and friends, but most of the time, we still have to settle it ourselves.
I dont know why i should rush to move in before Chinese new year, probably parents want it and we didnt want to disappoint them. But at the end of the day, you just felt wore off, too many works had been abandoned and I felt bad for my counterpart, i felt like i had failed my mentor and I believe every hard work and reputation you built could ruin over night if you failed to sustain it.
Believe it, every now and then when I was busying unpacking, painting, cleaning the dusty new house, mopping for zillion of times, i had that fear in me that I still owe my mentor some works.
I felt bad. But still, we need to move in before Chinese new year.
Tonight, i just miss Sibu. My mum told me the family is here, that is right. But Sibu will always be my hometown that i miss every corner, every cafe, every familiar faces, the foo chow dialect..and that is something I couldnt lie to myself that i can rip it off easily.
But now, I have lost that special feeling of going back to a place that i celebrated Chinese new year for 28 years and landed in this place which i should learn to call it a home now.
I felt so bad hearing every friends going back to hometown. I know I have no hometown to go back too anymore, and also the anticipation on the great firework when it was approaching midnight.
Sibu has the craziest fireworks i have ever seen:)

I have lost my words today, I am exhausted.
Happy Chinese New year.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

News: The dog abuser

My friend shared with me a very ruthless news today. I am totally dumbfounded when I watched it but the urge to cry was prevailed over the burning rage.
I have never been a dog lover before but right at this moment, I have totally changed my mindset to treat a dog as a human instead of just an animal.

This is a very heart wrecking 15 minutes video but it felt like I have taken forever to finish it.

The girl might not abuse the dog directly but her effort to stop the guy from continuing with his malicious and inhumanity act is too meagger and cause her to be penalized as well.

Sometimes i cant help to ponder, where is God when this happen?

Wednesday, January 12, 2011



(放了出来,好多了!呵呵!! 难怪她每次找我出气^^)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


I forgot the last time i did it. perhaps the last time was like few years ago?
anyway, it just felt like ages.
just when everyone expect me to become the pilot and fly plane again, I shall let you guys drop your spec!
I did and it made me felt so good. I want to completely divest myself of the FFK habit else I would be crowned as FFK queen forever! T___T
but playing badminton does make me feel a tad slimmer:p

Monday, January 10, 2011

A blissful meal

It rarely happened but when it did, it never fail to give me surprise:D

I rang him today when it was almost the dinner time and surprisingly he was already at home. Cooking.

Honestly, that sounds like me more than him. But today we had a role switching.

he cooked the sweet and sour chicken with capsicums, with his creative recipe and apparently that was the best sweet and sour chicken i had ever tasted.

From the outer package, it isnt look as impressive as it tasted. But to be truth, it is one delectable and hearty meal.

instead of using the corn flour to make the starchy texture, he substituted it with egg.

no dovey dovey message for you, but thank you for everything:)

Saturday, January 8, 2011




昨天Friday Night, mang约我们去Station one看看一位歌星叫曾国辉,若果不是因为他是mang大学的同学,我觉得ah mang应该也懒得去捧场吧。

睡,但我的飞机王这顶帽业戴得实在太多次了, 是时侯卸任了。所以还是拖着去。
很难得的,当天不会太多人。所以我们找到很不错的位置,环顾四周我竟然兴奋到醒了,是kyan叻!!!如果你不知道他是谁。他就是oneFM当班的晚间DJ, 建兴每次看到他出现在电视上

很喜欢oneFM, 也喜欢他的DJ.^^



可恶!当天还见到几只野猫在kyan的身边不停打转,是不停不停那种,本来还可以看到台的, 可是就这样被他们挡住了,真是不识做!




你们两个, 还等什么!!爱要以行动表现叻,快点买专辑啦.