I have difficulty of having ample sleeping hours nowsaday. Last night was not an exception.
After clearing my bladder, I tugged myself back to my bed without a tad of sleepy mood. This is scary as tomorrow is going to be another long day. feeling baby oscar kicked vigorously inside me that makes me wonder if i would have enough patience to handle all the kid's crying and craving for milk every wee 2-3 hours when he was born. I wish i really could.
My friend helped me carry back my medela breast pump today from US and i was really excited to unwrap it but later comes to know that i am totally clueless on how to use it, and my excitement of mounting everything on became lackluster. I realize my passion and momentum of learning something new, regardless of work and lifestyle has been swift off bits by bits recently. Last time when i changed to a new job, I was determined to carry as much responsibility as possible but now just when i was about to change a job scope again, i told the new manager I wouldnt want to be too stress at these period, after all i still have a good 3 months to go and luckily he agreed.
Speaking of the new job scope, this isnt a really hard decision to make and in fact, i wonder if i made it too fast. My friend asked me can you guarantee if you would be happy? I said no, but at least i know i am not entirely happy now. at least not as happy as previous job that despite the heavy workload, i felt the satisfaction lies within, as well as appreciation. anyway, i believe things will get better.
just when i felt my life is getting mundane, i realize i might put the other burden to my hubby shoulder that he has to take care of things that i no longer care or do, which to my surprise that he told me he was feeling stiff on his shoulder and out of breathe this late evening, i told him..me too..but are you pregnant? he said "emm no..but just feeling a lil stress recently". darn! he is like rocking stone to me all these while and maybe that is making me more oblivious to his feeling or needs. Not a good sign to see:( i dont want the ironman to collapse just yet.
Perhaps, now is the time to fix myself. hang in there hub! mummy will come to rescue!!