Thursday, August 22, 2013

sleepless night

I have difficulty of having ample sleeping hours nowsaday. Last night was not an exception.
After clearing my bladder, I tugged myself back to my bed without a tad of sleepy mood. This is scary as tomorrow is going to be another long day. feeling baby oscar kicked vigorously inside me that makes me wonder if i would have enough patience to handle all the kid's crying and craving for milk every wee 2-3 hours when he was born. I wish i really could.

My friend helped me carry back my medela breast pump today from US and i was really excited to unwrap it but later comes to know that i am totally clueless on how to use it, and my excitement of mounting everything on became lackluster. I realize my passion and momentum of learning something new, regardless of work and lifestyle has been swift off bits by bits recently. Last time when i changed to a new job, I was determined to carry as much responsibility as possible but now just when i was about to change a job scope again, i told the new manager I wouldnt want to be too stress at these period, after all i still have a good 3 months to go and luckily he agreed.

Speaking of the new job scope, this isnt a really hard decision to make and in fact, i wonder if i made it too fast. My friend asked me can you guarantee if you would be happy? I said no, but at least i know i am not entirely happy now. at least not as happy as previous job that despite the heavy workload, i felt the satisfaction lies within, as well as appreciation. anyway, i believe things will get better.

just when i felt my life is getting mundane, i realize i might put the other burden to my hubby shoulder that he has to take care of things that i no longer care or do, which to my surprise that he told me he was feeling stiff on his shoulder and out of breathe this late evening, i told him..me too..but are you pregnant? he said "emm no..but just feeling a lil stress recently". darn! he is like rocking stone to me all these while and maybe that is making me more oblivious to his feeling or needs.  Not a good sign to see:( i dont want the ironman to collapse just yet.

Perhaps, now is the time to fix myself. hang in there hub! mummy will come to rescue!!

5 comments:

嘉 ji@ said...

jia, there arent' any formulas or work plans to care a baby... you will be fine, it comes naturally when your bundle of joy arrived... all you need to do now is enjoy every moments of being child-free and sleep as much as you like... your sleepless nights are yet to come :P

Adelene said...

omg!! i can start to imagine now!! i hope i can haul myself through!

Elain said...

Yes.agree with your friend . You will get trained automatically.u can 1 dear.still remember u asked me will I feel frust on shermaine's cries or moody kuan..1st few months when she was abit hard to be handled..me and fred tries our best to understand her needs and google around. We handle it together.u can de.joe just feel tired perhaps. Ask him rest more as he needs to b with you together to handle lil oscar. Hugs dear hope u hav a good night 29. As for your work..u can do it de..I have faith on u..relax now since u will b on maternity leave d.u need any help to see de madela..if need do let me know. Dun think much on ur changes or role...I've gone thru this..we can talk talk anytime when you need ya

Adelene said...

Joe falls sick today..omg:(

Elain said...

Yalo.he will b fine..god bless