If the shoes fit

外面的世界

2012-01-16T21:16:00.003+08:00

突然很想听到这把声音，或许特别喜欢这把声音演绎这首歌。非常令人放不下的嗓音吧。

bicycle

2012-01-05T19:11:00.016+08:00

I told him I want a bicycle after we moved to our landed house. I couldn't list all of them down but cycling on my bicycle was one of my very fond childhood memory. me, sis and brother used to share one bicycle when we were young, and we took turn to ride it, whoever didnt get their turn have to run at the back chasing the bicycle. Dad was the one who taught us how to ride but always within my parents's sight. at least that was before we were in secondary school...before me and sis turned into mak rempit on the road. \lol/

2 days ago, kh suddenly asked if I wanted to redeem the valentines day's present earlier since he gave me earlier Christmas present last year also, he said it is better to give it earlier so I still can receive my Christmas's present this year before the end of the world on 21/12/2012, if there is any.

and he bought me this beauty!! It was second hand but ithis is the model I always wanted and some more it was imported from Japan where you can find the label written in nihongo on her body. very classic indeed!

and I was happily riding it yesterday at my neighborhood. VROOOM! and of coz reminiscing back my childhood memory!!

一个人的旅行

2012-01-04T14:40:00.003+08:00

突然很想很想一个人背着一个小布囊出外旅行。

布囊里装着的是一切美好的回忆，在旅途上慢慢的撒开，一点一滴的，就像当初我聚集他们一样。不再有留念。

还要装着各种各样的我，所有你熟悉的我，因为现在的我不大喜欢你所看到的我。

如果可以，我不想背着眷恋或是一丝丝的不舍。或许我太不切实际，但现在的我连现实或虚拟都分不清楚，所以不切实际对我来说，都无所谓。

如果暂时的逃避可以让自己看清自己的下一步该怎么走，我需要这份逃避的勇气。

或许连觉得眼睛看到的都不是真的，我应该学着接受用心眼看到的事情吧，不要怀疑感觉，它永远是对的。只是人往往都需要时间去应征自己当初的感觉。

我想一个人的旅行，几时才出发？

Backlog: Christmas and New year 2011

2012-01-03T23:09:00.012+08:00

my blog was stalled since last year. 2011 has gradually become the past, I still cant understand why the time flies so fast and holiday ended so soon and yet, I still feel like nothing has changed?

I have a few backlogs that I need to settle before they keep rolling like snowballs. I must say that I love the Christmas this year, I felt so much fun getting myself busy like bee! Looking back to last year, I realized how much I love having party with a bunch of friends, I think my family doesn't really enjoy having party like I do so they always shun away but they were supportive to me and offer help if I am in the mood of having one. Seriously, I didn't realize until now that I love cluttering my kitchen, doing all the cleaning job after that and by the end of the day, haul my dreaded exhausted body to bed but with absolute and plain self-satisfaction when looking back the day.

Christmas:

Christmas is always my favorite season since little, I will never forget the memories that my parents painted in my childhood with the hanging stoking under the mistletoe, the tale of santa visit at 12am midnight, the small christmas tree, the church, and also a very faint picture of the whole family lying on the carpet in that humid afternoon watching "the wizard of oz" movie together. Life was poor but full of merry surprises and love. Afterall Christmas is all about giving and sacrificing to people we care. I made a small gift to a few friends before christmas and received some gifts back from most of them, which I never expected them actually but thank you for the thought although most of you didnt celebrate Christmas like I do. And amidst the crazy working hour, I took half day off doing the christmas shopping for my family and bf.

Like passed year, KH and I wanted to have Christmas gathering at our house with some friends,I tried not to miss out anyone so i didnt bother to squeeze my brain thinking who to invite and whois not. Early in the morning we went to the nearby wet market to buy some ingredient for steamboats, I always wanted to try out the soup base for fish head bee hun and this seems to be a good chance to try that. We bumped into my parents in the wet market, which was actually the right time when both of us hovered at the market trying to pick up the right fish for the soup, my mum came to rescue and even helped me deep fying the fish since her wok is much much bigger.

The preparation phase is always the most enjoyable moment in a party. Since the solstice season just over, so some of them took the left over dough to my house to make tang yuen.

and not forgetting our first trial on roasted chicken in substitution for Turkey.

I do feel bad that i was too busy that i didnt have time to serve everyone but i hope they still able to self entertaining themselves:D

since the roasted chicken was a success, so kh and I decided to do it again on Christmas day for my family's dinner. We have planned earlier to cook a dinner for my family and made the roasted duck as the main dish since i think my whole family love eating duck.

New year:

I had my new year celebrated in redbox for the passed 2 years and this year we countdown at ktv again, but with a complete different gang of people. I do miss my friends whom i celebrated new year with last year although some of them had left Penang but the new gang is equally fun too. Anyway, hopefully we can do something different next year. The best thing on this new year is nonetheless the sleptover with woon and had the girls's midnight chat until I lost my voice, it had been awhile that we have girls slept over and chatted until the breaking dawn.

2011 solstice day

2011-12-22T23:10:00.004+08:00

Solstice day always pang me with a stream of consciousness of how fast the time slipped through you like a sneaky thief!

This year solstice day is quite meaningful to me as this is the first year I celebrate it with my parents ever since they moved to Penang, it supposed to be last year but I dont quite remember why we skipped it.

anyway, today is still a day when I have so much laughter with so many people I loved around me, albeit the day was started ugily with a little argument with him. But the gloomy day was finally cheered up with so many cold jokes, the silly conversation, the gathering that comes in and brighten the remaining days like the gleaming of sun after the rainstorm.

me and my gang went to canton-i to celebrate the solstice day. Just to make this day a tad different by having something better.

Another good year finally comes to its end, leaving so many memories pieces for me to savor and hopefully next year will be as good as this year:)

This year doesnt have fen's mum tang yuan but lucky thing is, I have cat's mum's tang yuan! Thanks to all the great mama!

They give her a name, the name is "Shermaine".

2011-12-20T16:36:00.012+08:00

They give her a name, a name that called "Shermaine". We have discussed about her for so many months and now we finally see how does this Shermaine really looks like. :) No more guessing, no need to crack your head to imagine anymore! She is right here in the world!

I wanted to pen this post gingerly and hopefully oneday it can still reminds me of every detail, even the trivial detail of how this beautiful beautiful baby come to this world and the joy it brings me. It is not my daughter of coz but my good friend huei fen's baby girl. And fen, I hope after 10 years when i read back this post, we are still good friend:)

The feeling is inexplicably complicated, a mixed of anxious, excitement and happiness, intertwined like the convoluted vines as seem the hangover after taken the extacy pills. I believe the parents felt the formidable joy more than anybody else. I had the similar excitement when ky delivered her baby a year ++ ago and now it is fen's turn. When it was KY's turn last year, she called me in the midnight and said she was in the middle of packing her stuff as she needed to admit immediately. I felt the exact worries and happiness that I felt now when fen smsed me in the midnight saying she needed to be admitted due to emergency case. To be true, my heart really skipped a beat but i was really anxious to see the little baby! Imagined that we have been waiting together with her for 8 months, seeing her tummy growing bigger and bigger and learning new parenting skill every day. At the moment like this, you just have to admit that life is a miracle, and love creates that miracle. It felt like yesterday that we knew each other, when everyone just graduated from high school. and slowly all of them were getting married, pregnant and having child.

I understand so little about how a mother felt in the past, i remembered so many times when i was in primary school until secondary school, whenever after lunch or dinner when everyone sitting at the round table, my mum will start to tell us on how painful the delivery process would be, and from her explanation, I believe it was an excruciating pain that is unbearable, but i dont quite get the meaning behind the story or figured how much joy we brought to our parents when they saw our little finger,and how much pain we caused them when we started to grow up and having the thought that we can do better without their guide and advice and we start to retaliate on every things they said, and everything they want us to do. ( but of coz, we have the time when we were right too!). and when i am at this age now, an age that if i were lucky, i might have 2 little rascals running around me, I started to feel even more for my old parents that they have been sacrificed too much for my brother, sister and me, especially my mum. Giving birth is the responsible of a mother, and you cant share this burden with the father, but the father can definitely share so much love to the mother. I looked around my friends and I am so glad that all the guys seem to know what to do and I really felt very happy for my girlfriends (except....)

I thank God for every good things that He makes it happens. Nobody says that this is a easy process, every little babystep is tedious but fen, you made it happened. I am so proud of you!

Random stuff

2011-12-06T18:06:00.011+08:00

The bf saw an advertisement last week that Turf club was opened for public on the weekend and asked me fervently to go and said that it was like one of his dream to visit the turf club, and also trying to sell me off with some ideas of how interesting the event would be. Anyway, I wasnt that keen with the shows but I decided to give the photography passion a warm up after cool off for sometimes.

Early in the morning,( not quite actually, around 10) we went to Farlim to have dim sum for breakfast. I was grumbling for a few weeks that I miss the dimsum there dearly and boldly claimed that this is the best dimsum in Penang. Actually I am not a big fans of dimsum myself but I would crave for this dim sum and I just realize that the last time I had the Farlim's dimsum was like 3 years ago. I thought it wasnt that long, but the bf was protesting that I didnt take him to this nice nice dimsum but I thought i did. So we were arguing and hoping with all bits and pieces, we could put out a date of when was the last time we ever came to Farlim for food. So 3 years ago it is!

yea, they do provide more choices of sauce than any other dimsum restaurant :)

To our delight, the dimsum still ranks the best in penang ! (just my sheer opinion).Better than Max dimsum, better than the dimsum near kimberly street, better than any dimsum I have tasted so far in penang, especially the one that near my house, that was rank no.1 from bottom.

Anyway, we didnt manage to visit the Turf club, we steered our way there and peeping from outside like stalker but it looked so quiet and quiescent so we drove to Gurney to spend the MPH voucher that i redeemed on some scrapbook material. The scrapebook had been a trend these few years and it had become one of my hobby when I am free but this is quite time consuming so I only do it during festive season. Will post some of my works on my next post.

Stay Tune!

Diarrhea

2011-12-06T13:34:00.005+08:00

guess what, I was having diarrhea yesterday and so as the bf.

Early of the night, I was haunted by bunch of weird dreams that all of them were related to toilet, like I was heading to a toilet room and somebody barge into my way and snatched my toilet room. And in another dream, I was in a meeting and suddenly my stomach cramped and so painful that I just couldnt hold any longer and passed in the meeting room and everyone was looking at me in a gross look.

finally it must be one excruciating stomach pain that woke me up and made me rush to the toilet. Ever since then my tummy felt so uncomfortable that I suspected I might had taken food that wasn't compatible to my stomach. I remembered my bowel was really clean and over healthy last time that it cannot tolerate slightly filthy food, so I had food poisoning very often in the past, and the most serious one was i blacked out for a while in the toilet and had my friend send me to the hospital after that. But ever since i came to Penang to work, I had trained my digestion system to be stronger until one stage that everyone get the food poisoning and I am the only one still survive, for example there was one time that me, woon and lee huey went to Kayu for my favorite maggie goreng. Then the next day both of them were telling me that they had diarrhea and I was constipated for 2 days! how sad. So I kinda feeling blessed that I finally had a thorough detox now. haha.

Good Friday

2011-12-02T15:07:00.012+08:00

I love to hang out with a bunch of friends and crack the stupid joke, and I also love spending quality time hanging out with friends in 3-4 where we will never fret of our topic to dry and nothing to chat. And sometimes I love having time going out alone with a friend, just the 2 of us. But the wonderful of being all alone with a friend is, we shares heart together. Shared some very personal thoughts, about life, friends, works and love. And I found it hard to find chance come out 1 to 1 with a friend at our age since most of the people are attached.

Most of our lunch gang made their plan today, and it had been quite awhile that I didnt hang out with mang, alone. We decided to spend the long hour lunch together, had a really nice and expensive food in a cozy environment like Berlin restaurant, chatting away the lovely afternoon.

loving the cozy ambient in Berlin:)

The sinful bratwurst sausage.

To shun the heavy traffic on Friday evening, we decided to swim at Regency Height before heading back home. I know swimming is the most effective way to keep fit but I don't enjoy swimming as the pool water is normally cold. After the excessive exercise, we drove to Chai Diam Ma at Georgetown to have our dinner. I saw from my friend's picture that she visited a very exquisite and obscure cafe in Town called Chai Diam Ma, so I ardently urge my friends to go there and have a try.

The food wasn't very appealing but the place exudes its artistic dexterity as every corner is delicately adorned with artistry painting and carving handwork, which is something that i adored too.

The handcrafted accessories was for sale and they were placed as seem like hang inadvertently was pretty expensive too.

This corner is another photography spot that portray a strong christmas season feel.

If you ever visited this cafe at night, you will hear the live band music coming from the second floor, but you would need to pay extra RM15 as the entry fee to upper floor. But it didnt move us a bit to pay that RM15 to go up since we can hear the band music very clearly from ground floor.

relaxing over weekend, love it!

2011-11-28T01:23:00.008+08:00

November and December are always my favorite months of a year since we have averagely one public holiday every 2 weeks span. And this weekend is another long holiday where I got to spend my time doing things I really love. Photography, family, culinary, and of coz christmas shopping.

On Saturday, PDI offered the storewide 50% discount offer, me and ladies in my family were really anxious and managed to grab some clothes for cny. This was the second time I joined the PDI big sales but I didnt find too many deal that suits me this time. But it was nice as I get to spend time shopping with the ladies. After Queensbay, we adjoined to strait quay for Popular bookstore sales and had some walk. If shopping brings a great pleasure to us the ladies, then going for bookfair is nevertheless my dad's favorite activity.

and I bought the chasing bulb from the flea market in Strait Quay too since christmas is approaching really soon and we realize our old chasing bulb was burnt when we hung it up on christmas tree.

I bought the Cuisinart kitchenware when I was on my business trip last year and gave to my friend who was on her relocation trip since they have shipment. After waited for a year, I finally get my kitchenware back from US. So kh and I decided to give our first trial on Korean fried Chicken. The outcome is surprisingly delectable and the process of making is super easy too. :)

It had been quite awhile I didnt get to spend time on things I really love, weekend was always hectic and eventful..but this week the weekend seems to be a tad different than the usual one, I wasnt able to describe what was the differences but I am happy, really. And I think that is all that matters.

Happy Thanksgiving '11

2011-11-25T09:12:00.005+08:00

Today is thanksgiving day which is not a legal holiday in Malaysia but for most of the country,this is one of the biggest celebration for a year. Like my counterpart, they probably were sitting round their tables having wine and gulping turkey now. And for my friends who were on business trip to US they probably squeezing themselves in the mall or outlet for the crazy crazy sales! remember my shopping list ya!

anyway,a little history of thanksgiving for those who doesnt know about it,but apparently my knowlegde is too scarce to share too much too. So here is the brief one, thanksgiving day is a celebration for rejoicing their thankful heart to God for the good harvest throughout the whole year, it always fall before the end of the year and exactly a month before the Christmas day. People takes a day off to give themself a good treat after working hard for the whole year and reward themselves for a day of feast and rest with the family.

This is a tradition that we dont get to have in Asia country, we have labour day every year. But our way of celebrating the labor day is different, for asia, given another holiday is like giving ourself another day to shop. But we dont really sit down on the table reminiscing with the rest of family of what we have done for a year, or thank God for another good year without any disaster or thankful for the best health of everyone.

Yesterday, he drove me back from Intel and suddenly he turned to me and said " thank you for being there for me for another day". We dont feel thankful everyday, we took thing for granted. But i can see that he practice his thankful heart better than me.

Thank you for loving the incomplete side of me.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone:)

Turkey, anyone?

眼中的那粒苹果

2011-11-24T12:51:00.010+08:00

昨天放工和一班朋友约好到1st avenue看最近打得很红也获得很多好评的"那些年，我们一起追的女孩". 一直以来，我都很爱台湾制作的单片，像 “海角七号”，像“孟钾“。都是很好看的单片。台湾一直都善于制作比较贴近生活化的戏，香港戏就少了一份纯朴还有细腻，所以看香港戏还是选些警匪片看好，或许香港的演员不是看起来太好就是太坏，所以极端的戏码比较适合他们。台湾人的脸都是一幅“普通好人脸“，好啦，我是胡扯的。

说真的，我不相信有谁会看了“那些年”后评论说这是一部烂片。或许对某些人来说这只是一个超平凡的青涩故事，男女主角因为某些事情而不能携手到老，错过了对方，但不会有人看了会说不喜欢，因为实在的，这部戏拍得非常美，论角度，论颜色，论男女主角，论配角，论故事情节，这部可算是一步超赞的电影。甚至胜于海角七号。很多小小的地方九把刀导演都不会错过的把它填补上去，很细腻，很仔细，也很窝心。

而对很多很多人来说，尤其是过了青春期我们，“沈佳宜“或是“柯景腾“就像是诉说了自己的故事般贴切。就像有人评的，每个男孩心中都有他的“沈佳宜“，或许他们曾经扮演的或许不是"柯景腾"的角色，或许他们是“阿和",“老曹”，“勃起” 或是“该边”，但他们都有自己的沈佳宜。柯景腾比较难找但不能说没有。可是如果你有的话，你会对这部戏更有共鸣。

那天我和两个好友谈到自己的“柯景腾“和"沈佳宜"，有的不是后悔也没有太多的遗憾，毕竟现在首在我们身边的都是珍惜我们也值得被珍惜的人。只是想起了他们，应征了我们的年轻，我们的热血轻狂，也记载了我们的笨拙和无知。

往退后走在回忆的隧道，我想起了很多被遗忘了的感动。为我青春留下不少烙印的“柯景腾“，拔助我成长的“柯景腾“，相信吗,我每天都希望他现在过的还好。

这部戏的好看其实就在于它的缺陷美是非常贴切与我们生活所发生的一些琐事，因为自己的某些执著和无理而改变命运的写照, 如果结局真的太好，或许就不那么写实了。生活毕竟不都是因为一些遗憾而让你更加回味吗？

其实我真的觉得自己还蛮幸运的，至少我知道自己曾经是某某的"沈佳宜", 也有陪着自己走过青春道路的"柯景腾".

虽然止点于好友,但一份回忆品尝起来还是带着淡淡的惆怅.

在回忆里兜了几圈回来, 我想起了许多事情. 女孩生命中的"柯景腾"还有男孩生命中的“沈佳宜“ 只要一个就够了, 因为毕竟这是一份缺陷, 如果有选折.我还是比较喜欢看到结局在完美下落幕..

white hairs

2011-11-22T21:57:00.003+08:00

I am feeling extremely uneasy and disturbed with the fact that kh helped me to pull out 10 white hairs today!

I really have to admit that i am biologically getting older now:( and remind myself dont be so easily flattered by what others said that they thought i am 23/24!!! They are such a liar!!

Maid of honor

2011-11-21T21:56:00.013+08:00

I was sitting in my cube today with a myriad of pensive thoughts scurring through my head, back and forth. Most of the time, it was the same old picture of my friend's smiley face. I am still emersed in the melancholy mood, but not as intense as yesterday. I am still feeling unsettled today, but i was able to shun her image running into my head. the old memory, the bike, the ride on the swing at the park in front of her old house, the midnight virgil that we attended sometimes .

Tonight I dont want to walk down that memory lane anymore.please.

no matter how, I need to pull myself out from this shit that i felt.

so lets talk about something nice. Perhaps a succinct recap of my experience being the maid of honor last friday.

It was my forth time being a maid of honor.and I believe this will be my last time too, until I had myown wedding and literally let go the right of being one. They always say a girl can only have 3 chances to be a maid of honor but I am not superstitious.

my friend had her wedding at Hard Rock hotel and she was in hyperventilation state for the whole week prior to her wedding. It was more like racing with time than enjoying the whole process, maybe that is how every bride feels, all keyed up and tensed the whole time until the wedding is over. Anyway, as her maid of honor, I was in a bundle of nerves also! Sofia is a perfectionist and I wouldnt want to let her down if something runs off the rails. So to make sure I didnt screw her perfect plan, me and fen went to HR at 330pm, met with her wedding planner, settled our makeup and went to the hall made sure all the CD format she prepared was supported by the hotel cd player. And apparently things didnt work so well in the beginning but luckily it was all dandy after the hassles.

Despite the jittery throughout her wedding, i was actually feeling a great sense of achievement and honor to be somebody's maid of honor. It must be some kind of trust for you that they wanted you to be the one who could walk with them on their big days, I hope my bride's maid and maid of honor feel this too on my big days:P and this will be my little prayer tonight.

I googled the maid of honor's checklist the day before and the google even showed me "Bridesmaid's 101", i wonder if they have something like " Bridesmaid's guide for dummy" or anything that sounds more dummy. I didnt go through the whole list because i believe the

checklist with 100++ items are actually prep you to become a professional bridesmaid or super

bridesmaid==.

for me, being a bridesmaid is about....

1. Being photogenic. EHEM! Taking picture in the hotel with great view, especially HR hotel that you dont normally come and stay a night for vacation. And dont forget to use the bathroom too!!!

2. Being observant! Spot anything that is nice and special, and of coz take a picture with them again.wtf.

3. Participating. Join in any process! see...I was "supervising" the baloon maker...verrrryyy responsible!==

4. Being supportive! Maid of honor is the bride's best supporter and you have to follow whereever she goes! For example, the bride's busy fixing her laptop and the bridesmaid has to give her full support!!

Aiya, I really made a good maid of honor!!!Good night!

一路好走吧。。

2011-11-20T23:14:00.004+08:00

今天收到了家乡销来的噩耗，和乳癌搏斗了整整一年多的你还是走了。

不能说我完全震惊，因为不知怎么的，从上个礼拜突然收到你的来电显示在手机上，到昨天，我的脑袋都是不时地出现最后看到你时的样子。

心很不安，有些怀疑，七上八下的感觉。我真的有怀疑过你是不是知道自己时间不多了而想对我说些什么。

而我在上个礼拜看到你的来电显示过后只是问问是否发生了什么事，而不是复call去。我想我真的不敢。我像我很怕听到坏消息吧。

就是因为自己的胆怯，就是因为知道自己有东西做不好所以我才整个礼拜里都是忐忑不安，但又怪自己想太多，你不会有事的。

昨天冲着凉时还计划着再过两个月的新年可以从西马买些补品回去送给你，也顺便看看你是否好多了。

但，现在再也没有机会了。

想不到今天却是你最后一个消息。我很后悔。真的。我可以做得更好的，你会怪阿加吗？

我好想拨点话给你，复回你那天的来电。听听你的声音。看看你是否想对我说些什么，有寂寞吗？不要觉得孤单啊。

记得初中一时，因为插班生的关系，我知道自己应该要主动交朋友。

正好你坐在我前面，高高瘦瘦。说话总是轻轻柔柔的。所以我想这个女孩应该不难交朋友吧。

下课时，刚好你和我都留在教室里，我于是就拍了拍你的椅子，你转过头来，我楞了一下，还是鼓起勇气伸直了手出来，大声地说（你后来告诉我我的声音真的很大）“我叫++，你叫什么名字？“

“我叫mei mei" . 你笑了笑说。很斯文。很小声。

算了算我们认识了十六年了，虽然只有两年的同窗岁月（过后我又转校了）。但那两年里，我都时不时往你家里跑。

我很爱玩，你很宅。我很外向，你很内向。

但你都会把喜欢哪个男同学告诉我，虽然是结结巴巴的花了好几十分钟才说出名字。

我们不算是属于同一个圈子的朋友，但我们两个都很好。你的笑点很高，我随随便便说什么，你都很捧场的笑。

mei, 这么多朋友里，你是我见过最温柔，最温驯，也是最羞涩的。

虽然过后彼此有了自己的生活，新朋友。久久的一个来电，彼此还是很用心的去谈。

自从收到你的信说你中了乳癌，我却退缩了。提起勇气打电话给你时，你却笑笑说你没事。只能面对，如果这是神的旨意。

今年年头特地去了古晋一趟探望你，气色不是很好。但可以看得出你的喜悦。你说我没变，自己却变了很多。。

我问你好吗，你说只能这样，不算好。。看到别人吃些好吃的东西，你很馋，却要忍住。头发掉了很多，医生也说你的癌细胞散播的很快。。

我不懂该说什么，只能傻傻的重复问你，你还好吗？你笑了笑说。只是孩子还小，不想有事，。现在只能祈祷

儿子Cyrus精灵的看着我。很乖，或许懵懵懂懂的了解妈妈在生病。真的还小啊。儿子跟女儿。。你说。

我无声。但默默的在心里祈祷。不要担心啦。。你很乐观的说。真的看得出来你很坚强，或许只是隐藏，但看得出开你已接受。

那天的我们还是聊了很久。我要上机时，你对我说你很开心，下次见面再聊吧。

今天，我的生活还在继续。你却走了。我希望世界可以停下脚步，时间可以停止下来，为你走的这一天。

或许对其他人，今天也只是其中的一天，但我真的停住了。哭了好几遍，心还是平伏不来。

不要以为你孤单，也不要担心没有人会为你难过，我真的希望。从今天起，你一路好走。不要再牵挂，不要在痛苦，

真的很想你。

发钱荒

2011-11-18T11:20:00.001+08:00

那天他突然对我说不知道为什么，不管你起薪还是没有薪水还是永远不够用。对哦，我也有同感也。最近大家都在计划明年到哪里旅游，毕竟很久都没有一帮人一起去旅行，听到时心真的超痒的。旅行哦，还是牛西兰也，不心动吗？可是明年确定的旅行计划里已摆放台湾还有日本，还有结婚呢？我真的希望我老爸是印钞票的，我想我老爸应该也希望他自己是印钞票的。:P 呵呵。
想了想，还是忍痛割爱了，银行的账本书上的数字加到都没有减来得快，所以那天阿猫通知我们公司股票破了25点，我才紧张的找出了遗忘已久的密码决定卖出股票，飞哥说的对，留来干嘛，看到却摸不到的数字不叫做钱，对哦！雯妹也说的对，卖了就有可以看到钱啦！我真的发钱疯了。。。好不容易进到ubs时，股市已关闭。可是明天开时要卖多少呢？现在是25.3，还是放27, 28吧，高老文跳出来说放这样高，小心卖不出，好咯，那就26吧，突然阿芳又杀出来，这样高，小心卖不出！。。>.< 好吧好吧，那就25.7吧。某某又不懂从那里飘出来，还是太高！！天啊！！！那就25.5吧！！

还好，还好。。。应该有hit到25.5, 所以还是卖出了。然后昨天看，哇赛！又跌了个4++点, 下到24++点，然后今天有起了个0.71+.哇！受不了！还好还好。。。不是放到这样贪心，不然数字还是数字。 :)

你和我

2011-11-11T15:09:00.003+08:00

麻木，我不能控制但却一点一点地注入我。曾经我们有的是很多人盼都盼不到的感情。好朋友，好姐妹, BFF，好过，争执过，冷淡过，摊牌过，和好过。。但当同一个节奏在反反复复的重播过，说真的。。我是真的吃不消了. 昨夜我告诉他, 不知道为什么这次我一点失望也没有, 没有失望,没有再问自己为什么, 就什么也没有.我放倒觉得一身轻松.

似乎我们已经成为了过去,你和我,好朋友,好姐妹,好知己,已经不再套在我们两身上.

我曾问我自己,及时才会麻木? 这次我真的可以看得到。自己过去真地为了这份友情执著过. 都过了.

你和我..

或许有天我们的朋友也会曾经忘了这两个人曾经, 真的曾经很好过.

我不能说是你的错.真的.从一开始到现在,只要你要求的一件事情,做得到的不用说,我做.做不到的事情,我也为你做.我没想过有任何一件事情, 为你,我会觉得不甘心.你要求的事情对我来说都是天经地义. 可是,就是因为这样,我希望对于我, 可以做的事情你可不可以尽量为我做一做?可以吗?但在你的字典里, 只要你觉得麻烦, 你就堵给我一大堆的借口,太多次了,我们也坦白得太多次了,我失望了又再希望,好吧..现在我也真的不觉得难过.

或许现在,我们才是处于最自在,最自然的安全界里.

至少我是.

所以,不要再像从前... 当你有空回想我们时,再问我"为什么"..重复太多次的一出戏,我真的看累了.

这次，我真的喜欢这个麻木。

gear up!

2011-07-08T10:13:00.000+08:00

After doomed for a few days, stress and stress and stress, I am back kicking again! Though I am still stress!! I learnt a new word yesterday," emotional sponge". Actually he force me to read an article and I think it is making alot of sense.A LOT. Emotional sponge is only for people who is emphatatic, the more sensitive you are, the more you are inclining to become one. Scary ah! it sucks all the negativity from your friends, and I always have that. And fen too! so fen, listen up now. Lets stop being the emotional sponge, inhaling other people sadness la ah. Just be a good listener enough and we dont have to feel for them. Sounds mean. =.= but who cares liao la. I decided not to care too much, from now on(very resolute)...sometimes be a little bit realistic is good:D Just treat those who really treat you nice, nice. The rest, you just have to try to learn how to give before you take something from me.

put that stress-ness aside, I am fully anticipating for the trip tomorrow. The sun, the oh-not-so-nice-beach, the photoshooting....I am looking at lots of photo sample these days and I wish, (oh God please help me!) and I wish to take nice picture like how people took! *cross finger* I am all geared up for the trip! I know there are lots of issue(shits) awaiting me to do when I come back, poweron, meeting, poweron, meeting... but who cares now!

The durian's hunter

2011-06-28T22:55:00.008+08:00

we went to hunt for durian on the last weekend, initially we thought of going to balik pulau but since nobody knew which stall is nice so we changed to have it in macalister road instead.

couple 1

couple 2

the hungry ghost month must be coming too early this year, see fred was too hungry that he decided not to let go the shell as well, issk issk

another tam chiak fello jelaking his finger

Seng's ROM

2011-06-28T21:31:00.009+08:00

We were like the very proud parents witnessed the transformation of Kina Seng on the last Saturday. I believe it was the most important day to the couple. The world is indeed so small that wherever you go you will bump into familiar faces including your registration day where we saw another 2 couples from intel that had their registration at the same place too.

The friday traffic was a disaster especially if you intended to cross the bridge, to shun the heavy traffic queue so we could reach on time, we played the dirty trick to cut the queue and

seize the chance to cut into the line, when we stopped beside the traffic line that waiting to drive up the bridge, and preying for our victim that showed a sign of slowing down so we can cut into his line, the car that stopped beside us got very angry and roll down his window prepared to give us a middle finger or some vulgar hokkien word, kh quickly manuevear our car to the cars queued before him and successfully cut into the line, but I was blurred off and stupidly asking him why he moved away as the angry driver was just about to scold us -.- anyway besides from feeling a pinch of guilt, we felt funny thinking that the angry guy was not able to unleash his bullet and lost his coolness, the driver was really fierce la, swear I wont do it next time, I mean swear I wont let kh do it next time.

People at the ROM

we adjourned to Overtime at autocity after the ROM and had a great fun playing some silly dice game with some crazy punishment. Honestly, i didnt had so much fun for so long, life had been bored sometimes that I only have border and queensbay to spend my time.

me and cat when we were still sober, ehem, I mean me.

and I am glad su lin is finally coming back for good:D which mean I have more friends to hang out with.:D

Usually i hate drinking beer but this house beer is really nice, it tasted like some sparkling juice. I was thirsty that night and it quenched the thirst perfectly:P

The singer was pretty good too. I think she looks like fei chui from far=.=

I don't know what happen to ah mang in the photo, he seems like he is preparing to sing the anthem song or something, or maybe he was preparing to sneeze or what...=.=

it was a great night with lots of blur pic=.=

The theory of ffk-ing

2011-06-27T23:00:00.005+08:00

This is the N time I was ffked in the late night meeting. Honestly I wasnt really bothered as I wasn't too keen to attend a midnight meeting too. I realize i never been annoyed when people ffked me, or suddenly turn down my plan last minute. Not at all. zilch. So I guess that was why I used to ffk people last minute long time ago as I thought people dont mind like how I do. But I was wrong so I made the mistake to turn down people from time to time whenever I felt lazy or tired to go out. Thus I was "honorably" crowned as " ffk queen" after that. FML. And I DON'T LIKE IT. Since I don't like it, I resolute to change and attend every outing I promised earlier, no matter what. But bad thing is, there are people who are always so bad that they will keep mentioning about the past thing without seeing how much people had changed, hello! in that case, then i will keep ffk you since you already think I am a ffked queen, what is the point of changing if people only look back? get over it la please! I really don't like narrow minded people who always talk bad about people and not knowing they are human and they do the same mistake too.

some thoughts

2011-06-27T14:52:00.002+08:00

Recently my time passed like light trail, sometimes I felt like I only did one thing in a week, working vigorously in cube( sometimes i dont know why i spent so much time working on just one thing too!), meeting at night, I used to have that stage fright, especially talking in english. But I am doing better now * aplause! yeah, it was a great improvement la wei, sometimes it seems people dont understand what I am talking too but at least I talked. Haha..and that's matter:P

And there are many times I was convoluted with lots of pensive thoughts like I used to have, I drafted in my blog but didnt publish it. So they remain delicately in draft. But werent they the most genuine feeling I had? Probably i am not ready to put down my guard yet, I love myself to be strong, unbreakable, the happy go lucky kind of me albeit i was just masquerading it sometimes but they managed to convince me back at last.

There are uncountable moments when I have that recurring fear in me, better described as insecurity that this demon disillusioned me over the little small things that goes wrong. But i tell you what, having the fear or inedequated over something is better than you feeling contented all the time, as you incline to take things for granted and being that obnoxious person who disregard people who really care about you. But the more you do, they will come back and hit you badly oneday..so I always need a moment of solitude constantly remind myself to appreciate things especially people around me.

Life has been filled with beers and gathering recently, the crazy one of coz.

I had great laugh and great fun with frens over the past weekends, we dont usually have this. But recently I just feel like to spend more time with friends, maybe I would stop doing it oneday. It is weird sometimes. I am weird sometimes. I love revealing things, especially digging to find out what is real and what is fake, some people they can laugh with you during the good moments but at your gloominess days when you cling for people to wield, you contemplated for seconds whether they are the right person to seek for. There are always a few faces that I know I would turn to whenever I need somebody to talk to, they are so nice that you just know they are the great confidant to give you constructive advice or even just a hug or a heartening word like " dont worry", " I know you will be fine"...plain simple but fully encouraging and trusting words. they dont have to be people who party with you or laugh with you, but they are always there. Like your shadow. I dont have many true friends like that. I remember having a very close friend who borrow my company settlement fee saying it was to pay for her master but end up used the money to had fun with her friends, and of coz shun me after that. I remember friends who seems to listen to you attentively but at the back, they disagree, stab and jeer at you, I remember those who no matter what you said, they would give you their contemptous comment, I remembered friends who never include you in any of their outing, but they know I would always do that for them. I had friend who never invited me when she had fun but after end of the party like 3am, I am the person she called to fetch her back because all her party friends think she lived at the other side and they stayed another side. I think I must had too many friends in my life that put me into these withering trials in life..but out of so many friends, I can only manage to think of a few faces who are really true to me. I hate this kind of self-pity mode so I am going to continue laugh like nobody business, constantly set reminder to me to stay happy and positive thinking. It is their lost after all to have lose me, right? right?

I have so many photos to post actually but I am just too lazy to do that. I didnt tidy my photo album for longggg time and all the photo are scattered around and placed in wrong folder, and not to mention there are lots of old old photo that I havent exported from my cam...I need to find time to do that.

okla, my friend ask me to go down take coffee now. Til then!

my serendipity

2011-06-10T10:41:00.008+08:00

I had this band and it is called serendipity, it formed as brisk as wind and dismissed before you ever know its existence. Kind of sad right? But some of the moments they will forever etched in your mind even they just stopped for a while. You couldnt remember a moment so profoundly without people who resonance with you, good moments without people is forgettable, unless it is a bad moments. I had a lot of bad experiences and those that I remembered crystal clear were those that I had to face it myself, I suppose I tend to remember them so easily because at that moment, I wished I had somebody.

obviously I am just mumbling and I should have changed this title to "good vs bad moments"

it wasnt a fair game at first but it lasted with a fair one. At least it didnt defeat my principle, if I were to lose in one game, let it be lose for a good reason.

honestly, the recording quality sucks and the mic on the audition day sucks as well, and of coz la..i didnt perform the best also la..hahah..but it still worth to be a great memory=p.

I looked damn fat! but i have no motivation to kiam bui also.

though we sang "badly" but we still managed to take great picture together:P kalah tak apa, gaya mest ada!!!!!!!

我在乎地你

2011-06-09T16:58:00.004+08:00

很久很久没有来这里看看了。

回到这里，因为我需要你来跟我谈谈。

有些朋友我很在意。感觉到彼此之间的距离，却又找不到办法跨过去。

如果你的计划里都有他们的存在，你会希望你也是他们生活上的一分子吗？

或许是时候我该认识新的人了。

有些朋友我很在意，不管多远的距离，彼此还是这么好，

见面时还是有好多好多可以谈的事情。没有戒心，没有心结，

真挚，诚恳，我知道你或你是没人能取代的。

有些朋友不管生活，心灵都跟你这么接近。我可以说什么？只觉得自己

在他们身边永远都好幸福。

有些朋友还是很新，却好像认识了好多年，只恨彼此不认识早一些，可以

一气渡过许多疯狂岁月。

可是，为什么你总为了一些不在乎你的朋友伤心?而不去想那些对你永远都是好的人?

我很矛盾.

真得很矛盾.真心,真得这么难得到回报吗?

snowing in chicago

2011-03-24T11:44:00.004+08:00

it started to snow at 6pm. The fluffy white snow swaying down gracefully from heaven. I was cold but all excited to catch the snow and let it melted in palm.

《无题》

2011-03-24T03:32:00.003+08:00

你再也不必孤单

那天看到一对耳环很喜欢，就买了下来.

可是当时就想到我带着围巾会不会拿上拿下就掉了？最后还是带着走了大半天。是夜，回到车上正想和kh说我真得很喜欢这对耳环，边赞着边摸却发现她真得掉了一边！！！

我很不愤也很不甘的对他说，我要把另外一边给偷回来，谁叫他们的design这么差！那几天都一直提着不见了的耳环，一只提着我要把他偷回来。心里真的百般不是滋味。

就昨天回到同样的一间店又看到了这对耳环。还是最后的一对。

就这样，我买了两次相同的耳环，他问我为什么不买对新的？

说不出来，我就是这么执著。

The real shopping in chicago

2011-03-23T22:32:00.005+08:00

Finally! i am alive kicking again!

I am so glad that i responded to a friend's chat who still wide awake at 1am in Malaysia, i grumbled to him that there was nothing nice to shop here. Everything is expensive and blah blah..so he asked if i went to this outlet called Gurnee mills. Hell no! i havent! so it shed me some light of hope!

By night, we drove for around 1 hour+ to Gurnee mills, and kh said this was like going to taiping for shopping. lol.

I have bought some of the souvenirs for the girls back in Malaysia. Check it out girls! but too bad you have no chance to choose but to accept as they are specially chosen to represent you

character or what you want. So how can you choose not to be yourself?^^

The windy city

2011-03-23T05:01:00.012+08:00

I feel safe when I stayed indoor. It was a totally 2 different zone when you stepped out from where you are. The chilly wind, I mean really really chilly strong wind. Seriously, I am daunted by the coldness i am baring now and totally hate the weather here, it is so freaking cold that you rarely have mood to walk outside enjoying the sun or whatsoever la. The sun is just helplessly shine here or may as well it just coyed behind the cloud. Since it is so powerless.

I wasted my last sunday hibernated in my hotel room. We went to chicago outlet for a walk in the morning but it was too cold and windy so i told him i ran out of my battery so we went back to hotel to rest before going out to woodfield mall. But to my surprise, I was fainted from 1++pm to 10++pm. Vaguely, i could hear him asking me to have dinner but i couldnt get myself up. So he settled the lunch box we brought back in the afternoon and finally when i woke up it was 1030pm. But my staying conscious period didnt last long enuf as I continued my sleep at 12am until the next day 8am.

I guess the weather just induced me with drowsiness.

Anyway, some recap on the only day when i was still alive.

The chicago is a really big city with extremely congested traffic, but not entirely paralyzed. This is second biggest concrete jungle city in US, following after the new york city.

Since now is end of the winter enter spring, so the trees are all dry and bald. But they still look nice though:) if only it is not that cold, i dont mind to snap more photo of it.

My friend who had been here before recommended me some of the places like michigan street, millenium park, navy pier and some of the name that i couldnt remember.

So we started with the michigan street with lots of tall building flanking along the laneway. The michigan street is too long that we couldnt finish walking to the end, so we just picked the place where we wanted to go. There were actually quite alot of shop that looks pretty nice but i was shivering to core and the bleak cold wind hurt my eyes that i have to squint them all the time.

To be honest, you really dont have to spend your time picking some nice clothes to wear because you wouldnt have chance to even flaunt them in front of the camera, but you do need a nice trench coat. And that was the mistake I made. I brought along some clothes but they are not warm enuf so end up i have to wear my coat that bought sometimes ago but inadequate to keep me warm and plus one oversized male cutting wind breaker sponsored by kh. Sigh!

if you cant imagine then this is how bulky and klutzy i looked like! i dress as if I were going to climb kk right??

But good thing is, i got to buy a new one here to transform myself. From forever 21 some more for only 30USD. ^^ my friend said the red is just so "chio" dont you think so?:P

we steered our steps to navy pier that is quite a distance away from michigan road to save some parking fee.

Navy pier is a nice place to hang out with family if only now is summer or spring. The view was just so serene that you can have a popcorn and drink and just sit there at the seaside leaving the time goes by.

time was running out by the time we left navy pier, hopefully we could cover the millenium park before i go back.*cross finger*

First night in Chicago is nothing but jetlag

2011-03-19T17:30:00.011+08:00

It is 348am in Chicago. After some attempt tossed and turned on the bed, failed, so I literally threw myself out from bed.

Chicago has been really windy and chilly at night. I was standing outside the airport waiting for him to pick me up, realizing I don’t even know what car number or even the color he was driving so I could spot him easily. The bleak wind eats into my skin, penetrate through every layer beneath, my face felt anesthetized, as well as every fresh exposed, but well enough to shove away the dizziness I felt after long flight. He warned me before I came, asking me to make myself warm as it would be cold here. But I just wanted to travel light and comfortable. So I thought I could abide that little cold time waiting.

But he miscalculated the time so I had to wait longer than I thought, again, unsure if I was on right pick up zone and if he was able to find me. The worse I figured was it is either I became the ice statue under this weather or I took a cab which are all the limo here to the hotel he reside. Limo sounds enticing. :)

Thank God, he found me after 15 minutes before I executed my backup plan.

I was thinking. Days ago that I am lucky, I have a promising job, I have great parents, I have great bf, great friends who can help you whenever you need them, great people around me like my boss, friends at work( though some are really mean), properties at this age, and afford to take respite to the places I was only able to look at on the tv screen. Don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to flaunt but I just need to say that I felt blessed and I believe so many of us was not realizing how lucky they were having people who really care about them sometimes, I did that too. I was completely a blind idiot sometimes that I crave for more and take people who loved me for granted, not realizing there are lots of people who live less than me, who might have struggling to survive like the Earthquake victim in Sentai, who probably just wishing they could be poor but their loved one survived, who probably wish they could have treated their loved one better when they were around. Human mind is sick.

And my mind used to be sick too.

I remembered my friend told me something years ago” you have a lot of suitor, and that is why you couldn’t choose”. It is better off leaving with no choice than having too many choices that baffled you sometimes. I made the wrong choice before, and I was worried it was wrong even when I made one. And sometimes I thought I could have a better one that came my way. Yes, that happened even when I was with him. I wasn’t daring to overtly confess it now if I never told him the truth before. But he had been a great man who embraces every bits of me without feeling sorry for me or living in self-pity.

Life is great, because you complete me! :X

Anyway, not forgetting i found the mr.right for my parched lips too. It is the bath and body works's lip balm that works as the breath fresher too!

放空

2011-03-14T22:38:00.011+08:00

我常以为如果我一个人也可以很好，可以处理所有的事情，不需依赖人，没有要求，自由自在。一个人或许真的很好。

我真的这么认为。人都是爱面子的吗？喜欢把自己说的好像很厉害。

说穿了心里就是想自己变得坚强些。

你离开的第一天，我忙着打扫我们的房子，发觉好像比平常多了很多的工作，比如说倒垃圾。家里的垃圾都是要自己驾车到附近的大垃圾箱倒，还有晒衣，我总是嫌着太阳太猛所以都是你负责晒衣，收衣甚至折衣。我喜欢买衣但是其余根衣服有关的我都嫌麻烦。

原来不管我觉得自己多独立都好，我还是真得很依赖你。我平常都说你很静，凸显出我很吵，现在却觉得原来你时不由来的一句两句带动了我的吵。我平常都嫌你唱歌很难听，现在却渴望可以听到五音不全的调调，我平常都说我做了多少多少的家务，现在才发现你做的或许不起眼，可是都是我忽略的小细节或是一些我选择性不做的工作。

锁好时间，好不容易等到你的早晨大家一起网上上挡时，却觉得彼此好像陌生了。和你感到陌生是一种很奇怪的感觉，或许是我不习惯和你msn，觉得好像和别人谈天，却不知道要谈些什么。你在银幕上给我一个笑脸，我试着把它想象成你的笑脸，却怎样也坪凑不起来。真的很奇怪。

认识你这么久，原来我已忘了当初和你比较熟络时也是靠着这些管道的，不然我们应该还是止于看球的朋友吧.

如果这个距离可以让我想起忘了的时间，忘了要去珍惜，忘了被忽略了的失落，也许这会是一个好机会让我的感情放空,回到最起点，然后再出发.

你的friendster's profile 照，记得吗？：）

lesson

2011-03-09T14:39:00.004+08:00

Sometimes it just make you ponder, is this something you like to do?

When i was in primary, I just wanted to go into form 1 and the only qualification for me to get into Form 1 that year was getting straight A, so the next question was which secondary school?

but this was easy:)

and when I were in Form 3, I started to ponder again, Science or Art? but parents decided for me. So science it was. But I wanted a good class so badly, and gleefully I didnt fail my pride.

and when you were in Form 5, where should you go? Form 6 or university, that year we were left with choice to enter university directly but i love biology so fondly. And there i was opened a choice in university(technically it was just partially a university that time, it was just an engineering branch under UTM). So there i was given the advice that you might not get what you want if you stay on in Form 6.

So i left. And that was one of the big mistake i made. I should have stayed on in Form 6, but i wasnt realize i dont like engineering, not entirely hate it but just not too fond of it. It wasnt hard for me to tell what i really like but there is nothing i could do.

I love mas communication when i was away from school, leaving behind my favorite biology class.

and after I graduated, my friend encourage me to try sending resume to XX FM radio station. That day, I was holding 2 resumes in my hand. One i submitted to Intel when i saw there was a career fair, and the other one, i stood still at the main entrance of XXFM. At last, I passed my resume to the counter.

But when i reached home, i told my parents I wanted to be a DJ. Parents got very frustrated and disappointed with my confession and of cz, i got the lecturing i expected.

So i was headed north. And my journey as an engineering person started. Though I do think I will shine so brightly if I was given a choice to do what I want.

I am sorry. I still think so.

This journey shouldnt be struggling if you are doing something you really love.You were given so many choices in your life but the only decision you have to make is something that makes you really happy because you only live once.

I have learnt a lesson. A lesson that i myself only knew and for Christ sake, it will not happen to me again in the future. If I still have one.

Just holding on to what you think is right, because this is your life and you are responsible to it.

A rabbit with pig nose

2011-03-08T21:25:00.005+08:00

There is something that i like to holler about today!

All my friends know, at least the close one knew i was on korean movie "he's beautiful" binge 2 months ago, i was so into it that i think i was acting a little bit annoying:p

Anyway, Su lin knew about it and she bought me this from Korea! i tell you, this will be the first and only one 猪兔子 officially in Malaysia now! *drum rolls!!!*

kh knew i am never a toy person before, he always offers to buy me the toy that he likes, so he has an excuse to own them but i didnt even lift up my eyebrow. And even if he wants all the toy that people gave me, he could have them as well. But this one!!! it is MINE!!! if you want to own

it, over my dead body first!

Thanks Su lin:)

I am so angry!!

2011-02-28T16:28:00.002+08:00

I am so angry and I felt like i am exploding anytime!

how many times do I have to hold my patience to tolerate you?

are you even a friend?

cool down cool down cool down cool down.

i wish i will learn the lesson well. never trust you, never give you a chance, and most of all, never forgive and forget how you have mistreated me!

and most of all, never treat you with kindness anymore!

but i know, next time when it happened again, I will realize that i never take the lesson well.

Happy spending money day!

2011-02-14T16:12:00.003+08:00

These days are really emotionless and senseless la.

I lost my interest on cny and i lost my interest on v-day also. And i lost my interest on blogging as well. So this will be a very succinct post as i am running out of vocab nowsaday.

What have I done so far?

i worked. Worked on new house, most of the time. Worked on my office work, not really committed but still manage to close my AR on time. And I cook less now compare to the time when i still stayed at my old condo. I might not know how to cook anymore, who knows?=.=

i am money deprived now so my friend suggested me to go sell off my stock option, how can I forget that?=.=

but anyway, i have a nice house to stay in now. Though i hate the traffic on bridge and I hate knowing the fact that i have less interesting place to go now in mainland and couldnt find any italian or western restaurant in mainland as well, all are seafood restaurant and Chinese hawker stalls that doesnt interest me much.

As for the valentines day, i believe I wont have any present this year nor any celebration but it doesnt trouble me much as I am really money deprived now.

So for those who had a full wallet, happy spending money!

宝宝

2011-02-11T16:49:00.005+08:00

发觉到家里的宝贝一夜之间长大了。

才前一天她还是一个到那里都需要人抱的宝宝，第二天放工回来看到她，她竟然会坐了！！而且这是第一次我觉得宝宝好像听得懂我们说的话，叫她握手和hi5，她都照做了，虽然她看起来百般不甘愿的样子，但毕竟她还是应酬了我。我不懂是谁在她身上下了神奇的魔咒但她确实做到了。

小孩的成长真的很神奇吧。希望宝宝在每一天一天成长的进步中，成为一个我们心中的好孩子。

我很爱小孩，但对于婚胭我还是有恐惧症。还是有很多事要想。

这条路很长，我会希望当我有天走上它时，它会是一条平顺幸福的路。

所以爸妈，希望你们别催了。

Happy chinese new year 2011

2011-02-02T21:52:00.002+08:00

This is the first year I dont like having the Chinese new year and I couldnt feel it at all.

There are too many reasons that makes me dislike it and I am too lazy to spill it out now.

For the continuous 3 weeks, me and kh was rushing between the mainland and island, there are too many things to settle but we only have 2 people. Luckily we got help on and off from family and friends, but most of the time, we still have to settle it ourselves.

I dont know why i should rush to move in before Chinese new year, probably parents want it and we didnt want to disappoint them. But at the end of the day, you just felt wore off, too many works had been abandoned and I felt bad for my counterpart, i felt like i had failed my mentor and I believe every hard work and reputation you built could ruin over night if you failed to sustain it.

Believe it, every now and then when I was busying unpacking, painting, cleaning the dusty new house, mopping for zillion of times, i had that fear in me that I still owe my mentor some works.

I felt bad. But still, we need to move in before Chinese new year.

Tonight, i just miss Sibu. My mum told me the family is here, that is right. But Sibu will always be my hometown that i miss every corner, every cafe, every familiar faces, the foo chow dialect..and that is something I couldnt lie to myself that i can rip it off easily.

But now, I have lost that special feeling of going back to a place that i celebrated Chinese new year for 28 years and landed in this place which i should learn to call it a home now.

I felt so bad hearing every friends going back to hometown. I know I have no hometown to go back too anymore, and also the anticipation on the great firework when it was approaching midnight.

Sibu has the craziest fireworks i have ever seen:)

I have lost my words today, I am exhausted.

Happy Chinese New year.

News: The dog abuser

2011-01-26T16:27:00.003+08:00

My friend shared with me a very ruthless news today. I am totally dumbfounded when I watched it but the urge to cry was prevailed over the burning rage.

I have never been a dog lover before but right at this moment, I have totally changed my mindset to treat a dog as a human instead of just an animal.

This is a very heart wrecking 15 minutes video but it felt like I have taken forever to finish it.

The girl might not abuse the dog directly but her effort to stop the guy from continuing with his malicious and inhumanity act is too meagger and cause her to be penalized as well.

Sometimes i cant help to ponder, where is God when this happen?

受够你了!

2011-01-12T16:36:00.008+08:00

我只能说是自己咯来衰!

(放了出来,好多了!呵呵!! 难怪她每次找我出气^^)

Baddy

2011-01-11T21:06:00.002+08:00

I forgot the last time i did it. perhaps the last time was like few years ago?

anyway, it just felt like ages.

just when everyone expect me to become the pilot and fly plane again, I shall let you guys drop your spec!

I did and it made me felt so good. I want to completely divest myself of the FFK habit else I would be crowned as FFK queen forever! T___T

but playing badminton does make me feel a tad slimmer:p

A blissful meal

2011-01-10T20:27:00.004+08:00

It rarely happened but when it did, it never fail to give me surprise:D

I rang him today when it was almost the dinner time and surprisingly he was already at home. Cooking.

Honestly, that sounds like me more than him. But today we had a role switching.

he cooked the sweet and sour chicken with capsicums, with his creative recipe and apparently that was the best sweet and sour chicken i had ever tasted.

From the outer package, it isnt look as impressive as it tasted. But to be truth, it is one delectable and hearty meal.

instead of using the corn flour to make the starchy texture, he substituted it with egg.

no dovey dovey message for you, but thank you for everything:)

老人追星记

2011-01-08T19:44:00.012+08:00

你有多久没追星了？

至于我应该有八年之久了。我说的是特地去看看一个明星或歌星什么的。

昨天Friday Night， mang约我们去Station one看看一位歌星叫曾国辉，若果不是因为他是mang大学的同学，我觉得ah mang应该也懒得去捧场吧。

其实我是觉得很累很累，心情糟透，又在家里做了很多东西又煮了饭菜，吃完后只想要呼呼大

睡，但我的飞机王这顶帽业戴得实在太多次了，是时侯卸任了。所以还是拖着去。

很难得的，当天不会太多人。所以我们找到很不错的位置，环顾四周我竟然兴奋到醒了，是kyan叻！！！如果你不知道他是谁。他就是oneFM当班的晚间DJ，建兴每次看到他出现在电视上

都会叫嚷他是黑人。那倒也是的啦！哈哈！可是还是觉得他很可爱！建兴知道我喜欢他，就叫他

和我拍张和照，（其实是我一直举棋不定的要拍还是不拍，为了耳根清静所以就请他和我拍一张留念）说真的，我真的觉得整个脸在发烧叻！还好地方很暗，没人察觉。

很喜欢oneFM，也喜欢他的DJ.^^

(从右到左)粉红杉的团体叫不耀日,George(应该没错),曾国辉,还有kyan.

老实说,我只认识kyan罢了,剩下得只闻其名不知其人.

可恶!当天还见到几只野猫在kyan的身边不停打转,是不停不停那种,本来还可以看到台的, 可是就这样被他们挡住了,真是不识做!

滚开猫猫!这里可是动物禁区!!!!

mang和他的大学同窗,曾国辉

Leng和她爱慕的偶像.曾国辉

你们两个, 还等什么!!爱要以行动表现叻,快点买专辑啦.

真的是这样吗？

2011-01-07T14:47:00.003+08:00

新年有一部贺岁片叫做 "没人帮"，不懂好不好看，但是现在的我得确是觉得没人帮呵。:(

当初我还和他算好了人头，好友这样多应该没有问题吧，一切行程还可以照续。

可是问了第一次，不是说要筹捞的就说看一下。或许到后来他们可会说开玩笑的啦，可是听过了还真的很伤心。

真的是这样吗？

嗯，我问我自己，如果换做是我会怎样。可悲的是，我觉得我从没想过酬劳这个问题，也不会说看一下，看看我有没有空，看看他有没有空，有什么zok sou 先，真的伤心啊。那天我帮了一个朋友彩墙壁也不是她叫的，只是我们都知道她快搬家了应该需要些帮忙，所以就问了，可以帮到朋友的过程我觉得很开心，好像做了应该做的事情。

可是也不能怪人，这是自家的问题，我可不能把自己不会做的东西当作是别人也不会做呢，等一下。。他们可不是别人啊。如果是别人，应该不会就这样难啃了。

这一刻的我，还真的是很难过。难过到想回家。

真的是这样吗？

朋这个字看似两只脚，少了一只就是孤单的一个“月”了。

这个年头大家都在改变

2011-01-06T11:24:00.003+08:00

我与一个朋友就称他为A君吧，做好朋友也有五年了。从朋友开始的我们彼此都很单纯的。两个都没有太多的脾气，抱负，生活与工作看得都不会重，或许生活上的烦恼也只围绕在感情，友情上，少了金钱，少了过高望远的志向，人也就简单多了。

五年里的有一年，我们总是在一起吃饭，看戏，出街，或者对我来说，不会有越过朋友界限的那个可能，不会想太多，更不会接受会自作多情的自己。说真的，我是个从来不会因为别人对我的好就当作他喜欢我，对我有意思想追求我的代表。只有等到对方暗示，或是表白时，我才会重新整理。可是人就是这样，只要是异性就会有绯闻。当然我都一一否认啦，都没有存在的东西为什么要乱讲，从开始还有辩护到后来懒得开口，毕竟我们一只手遮不到这么多人的嘴巴的，也或许他们没有很好的异性朋友才会培养出这种想法。当然，后来的我们，有人真的如谣言说的出界了，在后来的我们当然没有发展的继续当好友，再再后来的我拍拖了，也没有太多的时间吃饭，看戏，讲心事。。

偶尔的叙旧，多了很多的话题，总是围绕在大家的近况，工作，想法。。。可是渐渐的发觉其实有些事情不一样了，该说大家都成熟了吗？为什么总觉得他比以前静了，可是又比以前自负了？

或许，人真的会变的。我检讨了自己，我可何尝不是变自负了？再看看身边的朋友，在想起多年前的我们，大家好像都变了。有些变得比较自我保护，有些变得不懂聆听，有些变得只想一直往前爬，有些却变得更弱小，更怕事。。而我也夹在其中的几项，反反复复做着不一样的自己。可是，这一刻的我再想，如果当初你们没认识当时的我，而是在这近年来认识我，你们可以接受这样的我吗?这样少了很多笑容，多了几分斤斤计较偶尔又过静的我吗？

突然觉得大家都变得面目可憎了。

我，不懂我喜不喜欢从前的我，那个太过天真，太过单纯的我。也不懂我喜不喜欢长大了的这个我。只希望我还保有一分真挚的心来对待身边的朋友。一班看着我长大的朋友。我还真的不能没有你们。

Finally!

2011-01-05T16:44:00.004+08:00

I am in teary eyes now. @________@

After spending 123456 seconds squeezing my brain to the last drop, 2 cups of coffee, googling and screening from site to site to find the right word to portray an awful year and how much i sacrificed( American next top model, runaway fashion, lots of movies, dinner, outing, shopping..lalalala) throughout the years, sleepless night la and not forgetting the nightmare like the sucidal tall building dreams i had days ago, tons and tons of sync up and review meeting, wizened appearance due to black circle and new curves of wrinkles and blah blah...( of coz i dont have to mention how much OT i claimed. ehem ehem)

I finally....

FINISH MY $%$%^%^ FOCAL!!

and now, it is all in my boss's hand now.*kiss my boss hand*

Focal is coming!

2011-01-04T20:42:00.007+08:00

I once rant to my friend that I hate writing focal because my poor memory failed to recall what I did after a year albeit i can refer to my weekly status report but there are too many important data that you didn't even care to mention in your report else it will be damn long. But my friend told me she loves it because no matter what you get, as long as not the BE or IR, you will still have your increment.

I wish I am positive like her! but who doesn't want a double digit increment!?????

sigh.

My boss walked to my cube today and reminded me on my focal for the second time again. And yet, the clean sheet of paper remains as clean as before.

and I, continue staring vacuously on her.

what to write ah!??

Soul kitchen Trattoria

2011-01-03T20:58:00.007+08:00

4 days ago, I tried to make my first spaghetti cabornara but my first attempt blew off like froth. but what makes me sad was i wasted the exorbitant Parmesan cheese, why is the cheese in Malaysia is so pricy?:( I don't know the price in US but i assume it will be cheaper.

Since friday was a holiday, we decided to head down to town for our lunch and since cabornara was the only thing that came into my mind so we made our way to the italian restaurant "soul kitchen" that we read from the food review days ago.

Soul kitchen is palpable if you turned into the right street. It is situated right at the small street opposite the cititel hotel. And if you steer into the street, the soul kitchen will be the 2nd/3rd shop at the building flanking the laneway on your left.

The cafe was full house in the hot sunny afternoon with lots of local and foreign tourist craving for lunch. We were lucky to get the last empty seat and feeling so excited to start our order. From what i read from the magazine, the chef is from germany and the shop is opened with his wife, so the wife responsible to take the order and serve the customer whilst the husband is the only chef.

The palatable italian cuisine.

kh order the signature dish, chicken al limone with spagetthi (bottom) and as for me, i decided to stick to my all time favorite, spagetthi carbonara(above).

There isnt too much gaudy decoration but the cafe ensures your sensory gratification

I hear you, yes, it is a little pricy but honestly the food deserves its price :)

Address:

Soul kitchen Trattoria

No.102 Lebuh Muntri
10200 Georgetown
Penang

Business hour:

10-2pm; 6-9pm

A day of tears

2011-01-02T17:45:00.011+08:00

password entry

Looking back and looking forward

2010-12-31T17:50:00.005+08:00

Does it promise a clean slate for everything when you tear off the last sheet in your calender?

Finally, it'd comes to an end.

I’d say a good good-bye. A good good-bye that not being the teary-eyed, melodramatic, slow motion farewell. It’s the kind of good-bye that leaves that person light-hearted and serene. Wit

h the confidence that good-byes aren’t always words of Finality.

Regardless of all the doubts, I believe the coming new year is anticipated earnestly by lots of people to start a new life.

it might not promise a better a life ahead, it doesnt assure your promotion, nor assuage the

plaintiveness like the hand of God, it doesnt turn you into a wiser person, nicer to people around you, to change into new leaf, but i think the reason, it was anticpated by people who celebrate it by having a nice fine dining dinner or mangling in the countdowns jamboree, is the hope that lays ahead.

And now, as i am standing at this boundary line in between 2010 and 2011 and reminiscing back

the 2010. i must say 2010 isnt a bad year for me. A year with no broken heart nor exorbitantly shedding tears, a watery year with not many ups and downs,a year that showered with love by good confidants, a year with gains of new knowledge and skill but of coz, a year with lost of modesty and unassuming me and making lots of blunders.

I am sorry.

I am Sorry for being a friends who incessantly took things for granted, abusing others kindness for my benefit and being oblivious to others feeling, vent my spleen like some pampered brat and my hurricanes kind of temper, though i recovered real fast but nobody should deserve it

I was making the same slip yesterday when my friend suddenly changed his mind and sort of

breaking promise, i was in angst and fiery as i sort of see its coming, so at the end we sulked our face for the whole day and it didnt make me feel any better. In fact it felt worst than having him

to break the promise.

Sorry for being too busy with works and sulking my face when i am stress out, Sorry for being me who always think i am right and refuse to listen or taking the wrong approach to communicate like bickering over the matter instead of putting myself in others shoes.

I promise to be a better person and for all the good things, i wish to keep it for the new year.

last night, i rake in all the resolutions i can think of these few days and putting in the paper, lik

e how i used to do when i was in my early twentieth.

fret not, I am going to achieve them all!

aja aja fighting!!!!!

* The below post is updated 3 days later, merely because I am lazy to start a new post talking on the new year eve event so here were some of the pictorial update and contradicting the above post, this is a less "prim" one:) sorry for my laziness!

The new year eve dinner with the family at my parents favorite's ah kit restaurant.

Adjoined to the new year gathering with a bunch of rojak friends. ( friends, uni-mates, kh's hometown friends..)

thanks for the fun fun night!

梦里的大楼

2010-12-30T11:13:00.001+08:00

今早一爬起身就觉得昏头转向的，胸口闷闷作呕，莫非是!!!!!!??

。。。。惧高症的后遗症？？？。。。。。。

不是吧，还真地从梦中带到现实里头。 =__________=

昨晚梦了一连串的故事，但记得的只有站在一座很高很高的建筑物上，一座没有窗的40-50 层或更高的大楼，如果一踩空，必定死无疑啦！！为何站在那，我也不记得了。

只觉得我如梦初醒时已是双脚发软，心跳沉重的打在胸口上，唯一觉得自己还活着的是想作呕的冲动，我慢慢的弯着咯咯作响的小腿，再者是大腿，慢慢的再慢慢的增加地心引力的平衡感，没用啊，只能抱着双膝等着自己撑不住时坠下。等着自己慢慢接受死亡降临的那一刻，我想到了前阵子在cheras从高楼跳下了断自己的面子书男孩，我突然佩服他的勇气！！光看都已经脚软了，还用说跳下潇洒的环抱云朵，与鸟翱翔，再像玻璃般支离破碎。那是一股莫大的勇气，也是一股莫大的傻气还有一股莫大的不服气！！！

迷迷糊糊的又醒了，这个梦代表了什么？？？

来到了公司，偶然看到新来的老板进错了女厕所，我不敢笑因为老板看到你迟到也不是件好事，打开了电脑检查信箱，受到了一封mentor寄来的信，其实我每天都倒数他假期完毕回到公司的一天，可是收到他的信肯定没有好事情了，又有的忙了。

现在想起来昨晚的梦跟他回来其实是有关联的，他应该就是那高高的大楼而我就等着送死吧！！

catching up

2010-12-29T23:09:00.005+08:00

Happy New year su lin! this is for you:)

I seldom chat with others through video call except with my bf when i was in US but seriously, it was actually quite fun! I should have realize it earlier!

Happy day

2010-12-29T17:49:00.002+08:00

Nothing specifically happens today but i am happy, happy for the simple reason I suppose!

happy because I was able to have a nice chat with 3 good girl friends today, and it is like triple happiness that they all chatted with me today:)

life was hectic sometimes that you urge for your friend's understanding but when you finally hit the valley you will miss those faces and conversation you guys shared before. I am always a person who cannot live without girl friends but apparently most of my girlfriends are not in Penang or the available one will not be free all the time, so sometimes i find it hard to grab a girl friends to do the shopping, chit chatting and so on. It is different to do it with guys you know:(

but, today is special because i am satisfied with the quality time i spent with them albeit not physically.

and i guess I was relieved that I finally figured where should i celebrate my new year and when everything kind of sort out themselves it does put you in an upbeat mood!

get down to real business, i still owe myself the new year resolution and doing the retrospect for 2010. No time so til then!

Old title

2010-12-28T13:36:00.003+08:00

Somehow i miss the old title thus change it back:p

I was relentlessly chasing after the Korea series "He's beautiful" last week until my mind was full of jang geuk suk, youtube-ing the mtv during daytime and had uncountable sleepless night revising the scene I like over and over again, imagined I was the lucky one when he make his " salanheyo" confession, the addiction was slightly getting better this week, in fact, I felt much better now. I admit i was half-witted the week before but now i'd found my sense and realize I couldn't reach him even if i fly to Korea now. Anyway, the image wasnt completely erased from my mind but at least i am much sober now. At least i knew I still need to work in the office to earn some penny so that I can buy a ticket to Korea next time to attend his concert, if he has any.

This is like falling in love for one time but heart broken for millions of time. it requires a lot of vigor to pull yourself out from the unrealistic mess.

Christmas 2010 with great people-part 2

2010-12-27T22:10:00.014+08:00

This year christmas had been really slow and quiet with no party or midnight countdown on christmas eve..but good thing is we had a replacement holiday. Hooray!

on eve, we went to church like some pious christian except i almost dozed off as the english mass started late and my all time favorite Father Marshall left to Kedah church one month ago *cry*, i tried not to be bias but i do think the preaching from new priest was quite dull and dreary. ( forgive me!! ). As for the Christmas day, the morning started with a small lump and like the other weekend, we went to my brother's house to visit my parents and the baby Joanne.

Joanne seems to have a good mood that day:) mum said she sure was happy as she had done the big 4 things of the day like poo poo, shopping, drink milk and taking nap too!

I surely want to live a life like a baby!!

PS: Thanks Fen for the christmas pressie, I love the sheer chiffon texture outer wear you gave me:)

For the Christmas dinner we went to this cafe called butterworth cafe which had quite an impressive online review. I was craving for pasta but it isnt in the menu that day:( This cafe had been really old and built since 1958 so i guess it was the family business as the owner cum the chef doesnt look that old though.

I was really relief that the dinner plan was carried on without cancelled under any unforseen circumstances albeit I wasnt too sure if my family enjoyed the food but i know they do prefer the Chinese food especially from my parents favorite ah kiat's restaurant but sometimes it was good to have a change.

Anyway, Merry christmas, and happy new year!

An artsy heaven called Amelie Cafe

2010-12-27T20:10:00.012+08:00

Driving away from the bustling Penang town centre, we dumped our geared at the designated parking outside our destination, occupied an obscure narrow space which easily mislooked is the Amelie cafe that festooned with greenery plant and pieces of recycled wooden board unleashing the artistic sentiment of the cafe owner.

We stepped into the slow mantra of the jazz music, the amelie cafe effortlessly exudes a warmth and peaceful heavenly expanse for her customer to bask in especially on a hot humid afternoon, and for a second, the agitation i felt moment ago walking aimlessly at the gurney plaza was miraculously calmed.

we greedily gazing the little cozy space, it is small but it gives a rustic romantic kind of atmosphere. Decorated with the crafty painting, the unfeigned and delicate homemade embroidery , and not forgetting the worn off wall expose the red brick embellishing another artistic element, apparently the owner is really good at recycling his stuff that collected for many years.
We wanted to order the highly recommended chocolate mud but it wasnt in the menu so we decided to try on the black cherry chocolate cake and the coconut brownies with coconut ice-cream, with the cuppicino and orange lassi.

The first bite of the warmth cake that matched perfectly with the icy cool of ice-cream literally melted in our mouth and utterly tickles the taste buds.

We exchanged a little chat with the female boss before leaving, from the conversation, it isnt hard to know the owner pursue arts ardently which can be shown from every details in the cafe or even shown from the quality of food served, even if it isnt making too much profit from the business but the appreciation from the customer on their food means alot to them.

Stepping out from the same door that we walked in moments ago, I realize my mood has changed 180, like a kid who just discover a great treasure I was really happy to have visited this new inviting and homely space, lingering in the heart isnt just the contentment and pleasure you had after a delectable appetizer but that 2 hours spent somehow appease the weariness of a busy life.

Christmas 2010 with great people

2010-12-21T14:49:00.006+08:00

Like i promised to my friend, I will try to keep this tradition for as long as I could and like last year, we had this pre-Christmas celebration organized at my house with everyone gather together having dinner together and randomly exchanged the gift. I remember having my housemate cum buddy leng and also yang and su lin tagged along with us last year but not this year anymore. But the blessed thing is, when some people left, you keep them in your memory and hopefully your path will cross over with them someday.Meanwhile, you get closer with some of the friends you never thought they will be a part of your life someday. Though you might just stay for awhile, but at least it happens.

I always feel deep on this kind of thing call fate, and I acknowledged the journey of growing up will be lot more painful and lonelier, it is a tedious process to trudge through so i need to make sure I never hold any grudge on people who failed me because oneday i am going to miss them, somehow.

anyway, thank you for dropping over and i will see you guys again next year, if we are still around. :)

Merry Christmas to all my friends! you guys rock my day.

When Jul is leaving

2010-12-10T18:16:00.007+08:00

If we were have to bid farewell, lets make it a happy one.

I don’t intend to make this blog schmaltzy albeit I was bidding a friend adieu. For my 5-6 years in Intel, I have met lots of wonderful and great friends who joined as my badge or slightly older or younger and I was lucky that we could really live like a big family. But when the old faces gradually seceded from the same life cycle year after year, shifting in are those younger fresh grad whom I hardly mingled with, slowly life doesn't seem to be so fun anymore and that is when we felt ourselves grow older, and dull.

Jul is always a very decent nice girl who you can get very comfortable with, she has the nicest skin complexion but what makes her different is, she is a very mellow and humble kind of person and looks extremely sweet with 2 visible natural dimple on her cheek that divulge so effortlessly when she smile.

I will remember all the midnight rendezvous in clubs and dancing away our youth with not a semblance of regrets left.

and I shall cherish all the fun and laughter we shared and felt blessed for the friendship as long as i could remember.

Seriously, I think I must have lost a friend who contributes so much fun in my life though we are getting older and wiser that we only partying when “ necessary”.

and so, clubbing for the final time seems to be the best decision ever to sum up the whole chapter of this friend in Penang.

The 20++ of fun loving people ensued their saturday night from a wedding dinner to UPR and after spent almost an hour doing the club surveying and bargaining over the price, we finally decided to binge into Fame since most of us hasn’t clubbed for ages.

Honestly, the club doesn’t impress us at all and the song wasnt that fun to gear up the mood but you wouldn’t care much for those details when you are partying with the right crowd.

See you again Jul!

Happy thanksgiving '10

2010-11-29T09:47:00.003+08:00

This is the first time I ever plop my calender for thanksgiving day.

As I spent most of my time dealing with the US counterpart this year so I was aware when all of them taking a long leaves to celebrate the big day.

anyway, I had a good thanksgiving this year too. And I believe he was too.

I am glad both of us made the effort to be at home earlier to prepare the dinner together. :)

Our scrumptious black pepper steak, which is also our first attempt on grilling steak.

WAHHAA! besides from the delectable steak that made up my day, this constipated look surely does the same effect on me as well!

marathon effect

2010-11-22T09:43:00.007+08:00

My whole body is aching today, from the shoulder to my shank, every muscle is torn when i move, this is one of the reason i hate exercising especially hiking, running and cycling, not only the fatigueness and dizziness when trying to work out but also the aftermath that it caused.

But despite from all the detriment, one thing good about it is, queensbay carpark has lots of empty lot yesterday!!I think the whole penang must have joined the marathon and half dead at home.

* This space is honorary reserved for my certificate!!!!*

Toilet talk

2010-11-19T22:14:00.014+08:00

For some women dignity reason, i was holding my helm not to blog this out for sometimes but it happens today again and it is getting my nerve now that i no longer can adhere my patience.

I hate the toilet in level 3!!!!!!!

I have no idea why people like to say women's room is clean, tidy and palatable to visit compares to guy's, albeit i dont really have many male's room to step into and prove myself but i really used to think guys room is dirty, 365 days except if their mum dropped by to help them tidy, or if they are old enuf would be the wife or the gf gua. Anyway that impression kind of encrust in my mind la, picture the room must be cluttered with the dirty clothes scattered across the floor, not to mention the imagination that works coherently with the sense that can even tickle our mind to imagine the condense odor of their dirty blanket that left unwashed for months, and not to mention the toilet! Ewwwww...their toilet bowl must be smeared with some poo poo stain and the clammy floor has some gluey moss or lime inclines to make you fall flat on your faces.

i didnt say this out of contempt for guys, but i really had bad encounter to a friend's house once that the whiff of stinky smell coming out from his room almost made me lose consciousness. =____=. Anyway, that is not my point. trust me, I am not in my fuming rage now though the

incident i encountered just now almost made me pee in my pants.

Ok. Back to the story. i just want to say, girls nowsaday can be eerily diry too! not all, but some of them.

not the first time that I am so " suei" to see the yellow urine stain sprinkle on the toilet seat T____________________T

GOSH!! my drawing sux to max!!!!!!!

And sometimes when you were waiting patiently for your turn as every room is occupied, and there comes out a swanky, decent look sweet lady from one of the room, so you dash into the room because you cannot hold anymore, but what makes you washed out immediately is nothing but the toilet bowl that was wetted on the seat and that moment i really wish to have a gun and kill myself right away.But since i dont have the gun, i would have to stoop my intergiry really low pulling out as many piles of toilet paper, and helped wiping off the liquid.FML.

As for now, I still dont believe myself doing this! how if the paper is not thick enuf that the liquid infiltrate through the paper and touch my finger!!!!!!!!

But most of the time, tis is what i do, i would just tip toe to avoid my butt touching the disgusting surface. And that require a little bit of skill *ehem* to not touching the surface while not dropping your waste on the seat as well.

but there are time when you are lucky enuf, somebody would come out from another room and you can manauveur to another room...but serioisly i dont have this quirk of luck very often. haha

Since my subconscious was really conscious on this kind of situation, i will always make sure myself to double check the bowl or seat to see if it is clean enuf for the next user. not because i am such a good clean girl but I was afraid of people like me who would remember forever the person who came out from the toilet room leaving a stain on the bowl!

I duno why i am writing such a dimwit post, some more the disgusting scene etched in my head now la! How to get rid of it!

2010-11-18T17:47:00.008+08:00

Nothing particularly interesting happened recently, weekend is always busy keeping up with the new house renovation progress and family, while night time was bustling with works and reviews.

Leaving those aside, I am still anticipating the coming of every weekend, though it will recursion on the same boring stuff like renovation and works but at least I still have midnight by the end of the day not fretting to wake up late on the next day, i have been doing stuff that i really love doing and making me happy when everyone asleep, like trying out the food recipe.

Come to think of it, i have vague memory of watching a movie in the cinema. How does the popcorn taste like? does it still have the caramel flavor? And I don't know how I did it to keeping up with the "HOT" magazine in border previously, but i couldnt find just one hour for it now.

anyway, regardless of the hecticness, I still manage to snatch half an hour sometimes to prepare the dinner and that is the only fun thing that gleams my day.

here is one of the new dish I added into my recipe book recently - the chinese chow mian.

I almost capture the familiar taste of my hometown chow mian that I miss dearly but apparently some of the ingredients are still missing to make it perfectly taste the same. :(

Best Kimchi fried rice in town!

2010-11-12T20:27:00.007+08:00

* narcissistic mode ON*

Today I used my remaining homemade Kimchi to cook a simple dinner for him and yung yung. Believe it or no, they are simply delectable!*smug*

Since i am totally in the korean mood now, i lolled in my couch and switch the remote to the Korean movie called " Style" but as usual, that movie nearly made me bored to the max. I didnt follow the movie closely but i happened to watch the first episode and since then, I kept on wondering why they ask this guy to be the main actor???? Does korean deprive of handsome actor now? =S Isn't Korean or Japanese movie always prefer a better looking guy instead of chubby, round and old one? if not, at least the eyes should have an even size gua since the plastic surgery in korean is so well-known.:S

aiya..I dont know la.. please judge yourself.

Should I even be ready?

2010-11-12T18:05:00.004+08:00

*Heads up to whoever reading this, this is a private post so if you are going to read, please don’t be judgmental*

maybe I am started to feel free or what. i really have lots of time for my blog now.

Anyway, I am not trying to pinpoint anything nor anyone saying they didnt do their duty well. I just want to vent my despair, I just want to feel liberate again!(why should I explain? I dont know..haha)

There are times like this time, when I am stale and having times to ponder over my future, my mind will mechanically reload back itself on our problem that we never weary to avoid facing it, and once I started to accelerate the engine and let the issue slowly infiltrate into me bits by bits, i will feel the same old agitation, lost and even questioning the worthiness again.

To thread towards a wedding, I must say I have lots of requirements to please. And yes, some people are always judgmental and kept asking me " you said you are not prepared do you mean you don’t love him?" HELL NO!

I love this guy whom I know will stand by me no matter what happen, laminate me through the rains and fall ( or maybe not everytime =.= ), and most importantly he always seems to have the psychic power to read me.Simply because I know he understand me and yet still deliberately procrastinate the commitments that had promised for years,hence that is when it started to make me feel that maybe I am not ready for a marriage at all.

To born as a Christian, I always want to live in Christian life and I want my husband to be one too. I am not afraid to say, and i dont care if you think i am too demanding or despotic, but everyone has their chance to choose what they want in their life. And before we get along together, he had made that promise that it is something that he will commit, by free will. And merely if he wants to.

But seriously, what fretted me now is a part of me knows I can’t tell if this is true anymore.

I never like to act like a pushy partner who keep on reminding her partner of what he should do and what's not because I want to hold to my principle, that somebody who seriously wants to do it will eventually do it. No force, no push and of coz something that you perceive through an argument isn’t as genuine as its original intention anymore. But sometimes, it does get to my nerves that I need to give a push and query, but as usual the answers will always be " i was busy..." " i was doing this and that..." " i was going to do it..." blah blah. I know we are getting too complacent with our life sometimes that we forgot what is important and start taking thing for granted, and I am fear of knowing the fact that I dont want to start a fight so I will always keep myself busy to shun the same topic that rile us up again.

But, a part of me was protesting and saying this is unacceptable, this is nonsense. If no time, make time!

we, both of us, to be honest, had indeed spent too much time on work. He and I worked from morning to sometimes midnight and even he had to report to office during weekend for the whole day which doesn’t seem healthy anymore. I hope his hard work paid off well.

Honestly I don’t feel good to complaint, and it doesn’t make me remotely happier even after I vent. But i just hate a moment like this when I am having some time to reflect on my life, and the schmaltzy side of me suddenly pop out and conjure up the reality again.

In this moment. Nothing seems right anymore.

The story of my ex

2010-11-12T11:09:00.003+08:00

I decided to change my title to something more intellective.

But she might not stay long enough to witness the end of the world, which is 2012..emm..or 2011?

Anyway, "If the shoes fit" served her master well for the good 3 years and it is time to withdraw from reality, officially. As her ungrateful master thought her name is too trite to continue considering many aspects like feng shui and ba zi (translate in Chinese please) and she isn’t making much sense to anyone, or maybe except me.

So to commemorate the respectable "if the shoes fit" I shall reveal the story behind its title.

"If the shoes fits" is named after a movie I watched when I was in pre-puberty age and I can't really recollect what year was the movie taken place. But that is a very emblematic love story that a poor girl like Cinderella except she didn’t have a wicked stepmom but replaced by a very great mom who worked as the dressmaker. So ultimately Cinderella met with a heartthrob charming rich guy and they fell in love. The falling in love didn’t happen without any solid reason to justify, actually the girl was wearing a dress that her mum tailor-made and that made her standout because her mum is a great tailor and can make cloth that you cant see whether the dress is branded/not branded and make people fail to distinguish if u are poor or rich. Anyway, I made it up when I was in age 12. So they fall in love and the girl started to cringe in shame with her meager background status and having a mother( maybe the father died early so i only remembered the mum.) who was old and poor. So she didn’t want the guy to know her background and played lots of antics to hide it. So the cliché storyline involves telling people the mum was not her mum but her servant, something like that. Audibly that hurt her mum’s feeling and she finally dawned with consciences and realize the big mess she threw and eventually trying to break up with the guy because she felt herself too small to claim a tie of kinship with the guy in such a high social status but of coz la, the happy ending always end with the guy didn’t mind and they lived happily ever after.

dozeeeeddddd ooofffffff yyyeeet?????????

Anyway, I kind of like the movie because that was the first time I ever imagine what if I have such a wonderful love story and I can live like a princess with my prince charming in my castle forever and ever.

Good thing is...the reality doesn’t run too far this time when I grew up.

I have a my prince caring – CHECK

I am still my mum's little princess though i am way too old to call " little" –CHECK

All are right, EXCEPT

My prince caring isn’t charming enuf carrying his singular abdominal that gets rounder –UNCHECK!UNCHECK!UNCHECK!UNCHECK!!

and too bad, i don’t have a castle. :'(:’(:’(

What a slothful morning with the drizzly long-winded rain.

So you think i am going to talk about my ex-bf? OF COZ NO!

-The end-

Life sucks sometimes

2010-11-11T22:59:00.009+08:00

If they were just a sheer coincident, then I would chop my head down for the sacred oblation.

Every time when I extol on how wonderful my days was merely when I felt good that day, some busket thing would surely come along my way rile me up and make me felt like a shithead again. Seriously I was totally awed and amused with that quirk of fate that so ever precisely chose its timing to crush the optimist me entirely. EVERY SINGLE FXXKING TIME.

I was amassed with a gust of motivation and feeling all positive that day so therefore posted the happy post and just the day after the night of the post, my day had changed abruptly in 360 degree like being thrown off the cliff. Dont get me wrong, I might excessively make it sound catastrophic but come to think of it, nothing disastrous ever happened, at least it didn’t manage to happen at last but the process of waiting for it to happen caught me off guard for a short interim and ensuing with a day of complete bad mood.

So here is the case, I was waiting for my architect to approve on my meeting schedule the night before until I dozed off around 1am. Which make sense as 1am is US time 9am(day light saving happen on last Sunday!) and most of the people were heading to the daily meeting and left the laptop heating up in cube. As usual, trouble is the mind best friend as i shouldn’t be fretful at all. I should have taken my sweet time hit my bed early especially when I bought the new mattress and let everything sort out their way. But I didn’t. And this is so like me. Yes, i did feel sheepish after besieging in own emotional dispute that gave me a bundles of weird and scary dreams again. Whole night long!! On the next day, I was literally jump out from my bed when my alarm rang and fumble to my laptop in grogginess checking for the email reply and I did get what I want but on the other hand, I was receiving a hostile email from somebody and I hate receiving/reading such email early in the morning because it basically sucks me to max.

Speaking of bad experience.

My friend was rambling about nobody accompany him for dinner/lunch and the whole world dumped him without any better reason but just swoosh and disappear when he ask for having a meal together. It reminds me of somebody when that somebody had a very scornful character that basically makes everyone despise him, I never talked to him before so i cant judge, but imagine typing your name in google and search, how many entry that matches your name can you find? too bad, i only had 1:( So this guy..he has 1,2,3, ....7...10 ..or 98654348904 entries that he was the protagonist in all the stories which basically give people a perception that he is mentally disorder or split personality kind of freak. So backstory, my friend isnt that extreme compare to the legendary one (I love this word, legendary, regards after one blogger who wrote on that somebody)or maybe not even a little like him. But he is like a wimpy little kid that crave for people companion, care and perhaps...love? this gives me a goosebump anyway:S. A big size person like him but looks really small to me, i dont demean him but I simply mean, he looks like a little brother. So dont get me wrong. ohya..so he is rambling about his life and blah blah...not the first time i heard but definitely the first time I divulge my heart out so barely that I didnt know if I hurt his delicate little heart or...maybe pride. Anyway, i was asking him to grow up and stop whimpering like a baby. Life isnt sunshine all the days and people has no obligation to keep you company every single minute you need them unless they are true friends and family. Speaking of which, it sounds so familiar..emm..alright, i was telling myself the exact same line some while ago. Digging very very very further down my heart, I did know how does it felt like being deserted by good friends. Believe it or not, I was walking souless in ROSS shop and cooped up in my room and cried on my last day in US because I felt like isolated from the whole world as everyone always deserve a big farewell dinner on their last day, isnt it? And the saddest thing of all is....i rang him and he sounded so busy that even make me felt so wrong to be exist in this world. But anyway, not that i blamed him. Or maybe yeah, for a little :)

Anyway, depression does happen to everyone every once in a while, and sometimes you just wanted to holler for justice when people doesnt treat you like how you treat them. But come to think of it, why should you care more when it is so meager amount of care that you get in return. Dont pretend to be a saint saying you dont expect for a good return when you pour your heart and people treat it like ash. But something i learn along the way through the tumbling process of growing up, just shut all your senses to those who belittled and demean you, they dont really know who you are and not knowing you as a great person doesnt mean you have to incessantly disillusion yourself and put yourself in misery, and for those loyal confidant who stood beside me through the storms and tsunami, you have my utmost gratitude and I will always remember to be thankful, thankful and thankful!!

anyway, time to hit my bed!!OYASUMINASAI XOXO!

A dream comes true

2010-11-09T18:52:00.007+08:00

beauty plan #3

No matter how many times you whine for how unlucky and gloomy your days were and how you desperately wish yourself to be a tad luckier than people around you, no matter how much sigh you heave and your complaints stacked onto chunky paper, no many how many times and how that many times that you feel so jaded that you almost forgot how to love and feeling a little giddiness on the simplest thing in life. Despite from all those sour and bitter moments that sucks up your energy, you know you still have to feel glad for given another day to have the chance to be lucky again, to immerse in the joy when sun ray piercing through the blind of your darkest skies and for that tiny fleeting moment, you thank Him with the most infinite, resolute and undoubtful way for still remembering you, and for being you. :)

and I do. For so many good things that fall on me before and every now and then. I consider myself having lucky day almost every day.

And i couldnt feel luckier when i experienced the new things. And that new thing include moments when i received something that I never expect to have. and that, includes these.

Still close to my ear that my mum asked me to save my kudos voucher to buy something nice for myself like SKII product when I offered her mine. And I told her it is way impossible to buy SKII using a RM200 voucher and when i said those, I wouldnt expect myelf to be so lucky to receive this gift.

Can't thank more to his sister for all these bounty, moreover they are all sealed and brand new. Though I wasnt the first person came to her mind to give but i couldnt care much as this is indeed one of the early christmas gift that I didnt expect myself to be so lucky to have.

Til then..

2010-11-04T20:47:00.007+08:00

I was all exhausted and restlessly tired these few days. I went home late yesterday and the first thing i did stepping into my bedroom was took 1 second to change into my smelly pajamas, hit my heavy head on pillow and slept!

without taking bath, brushing teeth and washed my face, at all.T__________T

and I am sure i was having all kind of weird dreams all night long, slept for wee hours and struggling to wake up again.... for a meeting that cancelled last minute. FML

anyway, those dreams are so weird and embarrassing that after they happened, I was encompassed by the utmost guilt and earnestly apologizing to him for thousands of time, incessantly telling him I wasn't myself at all and i was processed by some evil spirit or i was too drunk or blah blah blah... i thought i had apologized but the other conscious side of me told me i haven't and i need to do it when i wake up...

so i was struggling the whole night contemplating to apologize or not to apologize until the alarm rings me up. =.=

Today hasn't been too productive as I was taking too much time to understand something. Despite from the crazy hectic-ness, the every inch in me is jumping vivaciously for the holiday tomorrow.

I believe it will be a fun long weekend that i can recharge and revitalize myself back again.

Happy holiday and happy Deepavali, everyone!:)

Homemade Kimchi

2010-11-02T19:42:00.013+08:00

I have good memories on Kimchi when i was in US. Talking about kimchi reminds me of a friend in US, ah fang, whom we always share to buy a big bottle of kimchi from HMart for just 6USD, and of coz my korean friend who was an intern when i was in US and recently converted( congrats!!!! ) anyway, he always packed kimchi for his lunch like almost everyday=.=. I swear i will sick of kimchi if i eat like him.@@

anyway, fang and i lamented over the difficulty of finding kimchi if we were back to malaysia. And that was true until i knew how to make it myself!*smug* (but of coz many thanks to gab's recipe:))

Everything doesn’t happen so fast as I was too lazy to make it at first, instead I tried to buy it from Jusco but guess what, 400ml of kimchi was selling at RM10.60 in Jusco!! so i abruptly gave up the thought and tried making it on last

Saturday and waited the whole paste taking the 2 full days to ferment until i store them up in fridge.

Honestly, I think my first kimchi wasn’t 100% perfect as I added too much ginger as the smell is strong but overall, I am really happy with the outcome. I expect a failure in first trial but they came out all good and tasted just like kimchi though with ginger smell:p

So tonight I use it to do the kimchi jigae that i craved for long long time.

and for the first time also, i was trying out my own recipe to cook the japanese pork mayonnaise that i always love to order if going to Yataimura.

Indeed, nothing gives more sheer happiness than doing the thing I really love and knowing that I have learnt something new again.

P/S : Forgive my laziness to post the recipe as I always estimate the amount of the ingredient base on the portion i would make. Anyway, i will try my best to give you guys the best estimation. ^^

Ingredient A:

(a).1kg chinese cabbage

(b).one bowl of coarse salt ( I use the fine salt anyway)

Ingredient B (Kimchi paste):

(a). 3 table spoons of red pepper flakes( depends on how spicy you want your kimchi to be)

(b). 2-3 table spoons of rice flour/plain flour/corn flour

(c). 2 table spoons of sugar

(d). 7 cloves of garlic

(e). 1 yellow onion

(f). a quarter to half of ginger

(g). 2-4 bunch of spring onions

(h) 2-4 tea spoons of fish oil (sand lance sauce, any brand will do)

(i) 1 medium radish(julienned)

Steps:

1. Separate each cabbage leaves from its core

2. sprinkle the salt on each leaves ( some of the people use the method of soaking the peered leaves in the salt water, any method will do:))

3. leave the salted cabbage leaves sit still for 3-4 hours.

4. put the flour into a skillet, pour 3 cups of water and add in the sugar. Cook the mixture in medium fire, when it formed a starch, lifted it away.

5. Blend the garlic, onion and ginger in food processor.

6. stir in (5), radish, red hot pepper flakes, fish oil into (4).

7. After 3-4 hours, rinse off the salt on each leaves under running water( repeat it 2-3 times). And remember to squeeze the leave to properly drain the salt water.

8. cut the cabbage into bite size.

9. mixed the wilted cabbage into (6) and put them into container.

10. leave (9) in room temperature for 1-2 days for the kimchi to ferment.

11. tada! you are done and store the kimchi into the fridge.

An affair with chocolate Mud

2010-10-30T13:40:00.007+08:00

I love a saturday when i had enough time to do stuff i loved(except working over weeked, I hate that!) and today is one of the Saturday that i always yield for.

He requested for a chocolate Mud cake on his birthday but we were running out time so i didnt make it though i had all the ingredient in place.

Despite from the weariness i was having due to late night meeting yesterday with US counterpart, I woke up pretty early today to start preparing for my chocolate mud. Thanks to my big sister, alice! your baking is my inspiration and of coz I adore you!baking can be really easy sometimes if you have the right recipe and the most important is patient and of coz, passion too.

After 4 hours of baking, including preparation, waiting the ingredient to cool off or heating and baking, I finally had my first chocolate mud of my lifetime!

Surprisingly it looks amazing and so does the taste!!!

Hello,My first baby chocolate mud:)

I enjoy the process when the chocolate glaze running down gracefully over my choco mud that gives a lustrous and smoothest complexion.:)

happy Saturday everyone:)

Here are some process snippet of the mud making.

Preparing the ingredient. Mixed the flour and the granulated sugar since I dont have the castor sugar.

Melt and cook the cooking chocolate bar with water and butter.

Blending the all the mixture with eggs and pour the chocolate glaze that made by chocolate bar and whipping cream and that is it!

Beauty plan. Vinegar drink

2010-10-29T10:20:00.007+08:00

Beauty plan #2

I have a few beauty plans ongoing because I really think I need those la..i hate flipping my old album and see how perfect my skin was and how boney I looked. And thing gets worst after I came back from Bali which basically i have nothing to flaunt except my darker skin and freckers So here is one of the millions beauty plan that I had In mine. ( The first one is of coz my sunblock la)

I spent the last friday lunch with a bunch of girlfriends, munching away our lunch at my favorite Pappa rich café before we headed to Tesco to grab some steamboat ingredient for his birthday party.

We stopped by “yu ren sheng” shop as one of them wanted to checkout the price of something that i couldnt recall, as usual I have a very terrible memory and things that I remember cannot retain long, the most will be 2-3 days. So there I spotted a vast selection of vinegar made by a mass of natural ingredient very neatly drawn up on the rack. I always

wanted to buy the vinegar as I heard drinking vinegar has become a trend for quite sometimes but due to my laziness to walk into any shop and do the survey, so I never really take any initiative to find out more. so now was the chance for me to get a close read on what are the goods it could bring.

Generally vinegar helps us in digestion and detoxification, and if you are a long term constipation sufferer, it provided the dissolved fiber that can help to relieve your constipation Besides I was educated that it helped in improving our immune system and revitalize or improve our skin texture, so if you are having a dry skin it will help our cell in absorption so the skin will be less dry. ( I made up this one /boo)

My first vinegar drink in honey and apple flavor. tasted nice and acceptable

Anyway, there are too many benefits that it could bring and i couldnt find any reason not buying it.^^

Especially when they are doing the promotion now as in buy 3 can get the vinegar in RM33 per bottle where the original price is RM52++. So we grabbed 3 bottle and shared among 3 of my girlfriends.

I never like drinking the plain water, i love water with taste and smell. So this seem to be a great chance for me to drink more water and stay rejuvenated. :) *WEE*

我的巴厘Take #2

2010-10-28T23:21:00.035+08:00

记载：30th September 2010 – 5th October 2010

我终于又回到了那个岛屿，巴厘。第一次来到这个岛上游玩是与一班的好友们。那段回忆是难以取代的。所以这次我也不抱着太多的希望会有什么惊喜毕竟行程上的都是曾经到过的地方。可是因为这次是我们，和他的好兄弟及女友的couple trip所以我还是有所期待的。月尾的工作来的特别忙，一天总有做不完的工作，所以在出发旅行的前几个星期大家都忙着赶工。因为他预料不到的工作实在太多所以整个计划还差点胎死腹中呢。但好彩还是放下了手上做不完的工打包着行李踏上了订了差不多一年的旅途。

我来了!!!!!!!!

就像第一次我都懒得计划旅行的一切所以这个重任就落实在他的身上。我只能说这个行程上的女生都太幸福了，就像我每天只需要关心今天去那里玩吃什么还有穿什么衣服就好了。行程上的大小事情都由男生包办。真的真的太好命了！如果每天这样就好了。醒来的一天没有工作的担忧，没有赶着开会的准备工作，也不用烦恼着家里的大小琐事什么什么的，生活一定会很完美。^^

到达巴厘时已夜幕低垂. 迎接我们的是一个看上去很年轻很老实的到地司机。开离Denpasar 机场

的路途上都塞满了大小辆的车辆。这不是我所熟悉的Kuta，可见离开了两年多旅客也变得比以前多了。第一天的晚餐比我们想象中丰富许多，司机带我们到了一个叫做Malioboro的餐馆，在巴厘有冷气的餐馆都是不便宜，所以我们是有心理准备的。但竟然坐了下来就不好意思再拍着屁股走人，再加上热心的交待员带着大大的笑容热心的招呼着我们，所以就这样我们被半骗着的点了这里出名的Ayam tulang Lunak，其实如果没有这么贵的话，这一餐还是吃的很满足的。

Ayam tulang Lunak 特别的地方就是它连骨头都可以吃。贵贵的鸡如果很差就真的要杀人啦。

当晚冲洗过后我们就决定到热闹的街上溜溜。

看到很美的酒店可惜不是我下榻的。T_____T

我肚子在来巴厘之前就不舒服，所以来到这里就一直找厕所，一吃进肚子的东西不会停留太久就直通大肠, 就因为肚子一直反复的搅着所以走了一个小时就提早回酒店。第一天的酒店只是为了歇一歇脚所以就不没有太讲究，这家酒店看来有点陈旧而且不是非常清洁，但这不算是最可悲的地方，最惨是浑浑噩噩的睡到了半夜屋外还会听到一群人的叫嚷声，折磨到了接近一个时辰才有

的好睡。真的很生气！好在本小姐度假心情好才不跟你们计较。不然我真的会漏夜搬家去！！！

第二天，我们下榻了Ubub的一家酒店也开始了我们的巴厘之旅。起初我们的司机,Antoro好心的提点我们不要去Besakih Temple因为那里没什么看又会 “砍人”。但我们还是很坚持要去因为那是巴厘最大的庙至少不去别的也得去这个吧！再加上上次我来时正好有节日所以有好多东东看，而且我记得两年前的入门票也不会贵到吓人，所以就以为是Antoro偷懒驾长途才故意改掉我们的行程。

一到了那里，就有好几个男人走过来领着我们到售票台叫我们出一个价当作是做善事和入门票，然后我们身边都出现了几个大男人瞪大着眼睛等着我们开价，看到了我们在犹豫，有个好像“话事”的男人拿出了一本没有写满的册子告诉我们这些都是曾经来过的游客开的价，最低的价钱还

是马币100叻！最后我们还是得乖乖就范的给了最低的价钱啦。

带我们进去的导游叫做Wayang，他说这个名字在这里算是最普遍了。

见见大耳窿的其中一位成员。。。wayang!

Wayang看来不错，他说每个游客呆在庙里的时间不可超过1小时半，虽然这个庙由90个大小庙组成但不是每个庙都被允许进入的。

大耳窿-Besakih

背着Besakih是一座叫做Gunung Agung的活火山，也是巴厘最大的一座火山，靠着他的还有个出名的活火山叫Gunung Batur，传说是个女的，Gunung Agung也当然就是个男的啦。这里的庙身很多都是重新刷新还有修补过的，也是以前的人用双手把这些巨型的石头搭建成的，不说不知，那一栋一进门就看到的庙旁排列着一堆雕像，Wayang说如果你看清楚其实左边的雕像看上

去是比较友善的，右边的则是比较凶神恶煞，这其实是代表这里的人都相信这世界上有恶灵和善灵的存在，两者都会被祭拜。最常见的应该是满街都可以见到的用香叶褶成的小盒而且里面还会塞满了一些小花，如果是小花或是米就是为祭拜善灵所准备的，如果里面放满了一些香料就是祭

给恶灵。其实还有很多小小的童话故事我也就忘了。。。

走完了庙之后，Wayang就大言不惭的向我们要些小费，还以为他会是个好人叻，哪里知道到后来也只是为了钱。=S

为了一睹Gunung Batur的风采我们还来到了山上吃很不好吃的自助餐，想起来还真的不知道值不

值。还有就是也没什么特别的holy Spring。巴厘的天气还是像记忆中般炎热。我提着我的小伞还是可以感觉千万只直射皮肤的灼热太阳线，真的热到受不了。

Holy Spring

我对这里最印象深刻的就是那些买东西的小贩.他们已看到游客就会像章鱼似的把你缠住不停的拉你进店里买东西。而且大多数的他们都会说华语，所以除了定力要够之外说话也要特别注意了。

然后我们去了做Spa，我没来过这家Spa，只是我们的司机用人头来保证他真的很好所以就姑且来试一试。在巴厘做Spa是最值得不过的事了。想想看还有哪里可以找到RM75给两个小时的服务？我没有了第一次做Spa的羞涩，这次算是自然了许多。我拿了牛奶配套，帮我按摩的是一个微胖的小女生，整个过程都处于非常安静的状态，努力的帮我抹掉身上的死皮。大家得到上宾级的招待后就浩荡的去了最有名的Bebek Bengil。

我点了我盼了两年的Pork Rib还有非常香脆的Crispy Duck，虽然价格不会便宜但还是超值得的。

第二天我们只在Ubub逛逛。吃了这里另一个”must Eat” 的Bali guling。就像上次那样，觉得并不特别，建兴还说还是家乡的烧肉比较好吃。我也这么认为。^^

Ubub 的sukawati art market 最值得买的莫过于油画和上衣。因为上次来过也买了很多只能挂在衣橱里却不能穿的裙子所以这次我只专注在油画上。买了算是三幅都以花为主的油画打算摆放在新家里，价钱真的超便宜的，平均每幅也只有RM50罢了。

在巴厘有两个非常著名看黄昏的旅游景点，一是uluwatu二则是tanah lot.

Tanah Lot 的黄昏像幅画.

还是马来西亚的椰水好喝:p

从Tanah Lot离开后我们决定去感受下巴厘的夜生活，要不复杂又不太安静的地方不难选，我们就选择了hard Rock a 的life band. 值得提的是这里的入门票是免费的，只需每人叫一杯啤酒就可以在这里呆整晚。

超赞的live Band!

第三天的路程更简单了。从早到中午我们只在市中心和海边闲逛。傍晚，我们来到了这间位于Seminyak算是高级的La Lucciola 法国餐厅用餐。

这里发生的事情就不需再提了。但说真的，听着海风吃晚餐，看着慢慢坠落的橙阳，还有那逐放眼帘所望去的一大片海洋，也是一种最高等级的享受。

在最后一天的旅程我们终于去了说了很久的sanur beach.

还有来到了著名的Uluwatu。

Uluwatu是巴厘最南下的地方，所以这里的海洋看起来比较不一样，辽阔得没有边界也没有尽头。地球四分之三的面积都被海水占住而我虽然站在筑高的顶上却还是看起来这么渺小，这么多余。那一刻我发誓我想起了在美国cannon beach 那一片的大海洋，看起来相似于眼前的这片却是在遥不可及的距离。就那么一刻，我是真得很怀念也觉得有点惆怅。

上次错过了kecak dance 这次说什么我都一定要来。Kecak Dance是巴厘的其中一个民族舞蹈。说的是邪灵被制伏而皆大欢喜的故事，也是老掉牙的童话故事。

沿着下山的路，我们停在Jimbaran吃海鲜。没什么特别，所有道菜的酱汁都一样，真得有点失望咯。。

离开巴黎的这天，没有太多的不舍。还回来吗？我问我自己。或许这是最后一次了，所以，巴厘，我们不再见。

妈妈的秘密

2010-10-27T11:31:00.001+08:00

妈妈说这个不能说.
为了纪念这一天, 我决定了还是要说!!! 有人回来了.
不管你懂不懂都不要说,ok!?

生日。表妹

2010-10-22T16:28:00.018+08:00

真的，朋友的魔力是不可轻视的。那天中午与我两位好友吐了很多苦水，把那些前阵子闷得让我吃不消的情绪都发泄出来后就觉得舒畅多了。真得很谢谢你们。

生日

他的生日，我还真的比他还忙。和他大学的室友们计划了提早为他庆生，有时人多时就变得比较麻烦配合彼此的时间。好在室友们都很好商量所以程序上也变得简单多。我希望你可以抽出时间好好看看身边的他们。你真得太忙了。希望你别忽略了这班这么善良的朋友。毕竟，大学的好朋友难找，更难维持哦。我也曾今有一班很好的室友，虽然住在一起难免有磨擦可是大部分的时间都是相处得很愉快，至少不会把不满塞进心里变成肿瘤。虽然大家出来社会工作后少了联络，可是见面时还是不会有隔膜的。

记得记得如果要去金加力吃晚餐就要申请会员卡，因为真得超值得的. 原本我们吃了RM89++的菜单因为申请会员卡而折扣了一半。很dai咯！！

当然,生日接力赛怎能少了和彼此的共同旧朋友相聚呢？和马辣佬们约好了在cafe Eighteen 聚会因为那里环境不错价钱也比较合理，我来过一次但却没认真的好好欣赏所以这次正好有机会可以好好研究一下.真的觉得这里的食物摆盘都很不错，味道也十足。当然最难得的是和一帮好朋友的相聚，而且还是个很完整的相聚，因为通常都会有人不能配合时间而缺席，所以这次真的很难得。

很特别的玫瑰三文鱼

还有就是现在已很难找到很多蘑菇碎的wild mushroom 汤

和朋友买了蛋糕杯，价钱很合理。不太贵。还有自己也喜欢吃的humble beginning. 因为很久都没在家里开party了所以几个朋友决定借着生日也来聚一聚。一来可以庆祝生日，二者有些已成为妈咪的朋友也可以带bb来家里凑热闹，至少行动方面也比较方便。

利物浦cupcake

The humble beginning

xuan和howard zai 相见欢

托了你的福做着自己喜欢的东西,真得很快乐。:)

嘉欣表妹

二表妹带着一帮很可爱的朋友在他生日的期间来到了槟城参加training. 自从中学毕业之后，我也没什么机会和二表妹相处, 唯一见面的机会就只落在每年新年回乡过年时，可是往往时间很短所以也不能深聊。这次正好有这个机会但又很不巧的碰到了他的生日，而且表妹也忙着她的training所以彼此也抽不出时间一起出外走走。真得有点遗憾. 但是来日方长，相信我们还是有这个机会的。

现在的小孩都是长得这么好看的吗?=.=

嘉欣

表妹成长了许多，虽然她一直都是早熟的一个，懂得想，也是很会思考的一个女孩，所以一直以来在长辈心中也算是没什么好忧虑的孩子。这次见到她，难免还是会想念起那个很久很久以前那个很小很小白白静静的乖乖表妹。偶尔沉静下来有点成熟，笑起来有带着稚气的那个小女孩。突然很想知道在表妹心中，我又是个怎样的一个人呢?

Got me covered

2010-10-19T15:41:00.005+08:00

The most effective way for you to vent your frustration, i meant for all the girls are doing shopping. No matter you do it big or small, it still makes you feel damn good!

I bought this sunblock SPF35++ plus foundation today from Sasa. I am looking for a sunblock that has SPF more than 20 but i am not sure what does it mean by 35++, but nevertheless, it is still more than 20^^

I got a free sample of b-liv product after submitting an form and tried the sample out when i was in Bali. Amazingly it turns out to fit me really well! especially on this "got me covered", without him, I swear I could have grown darker. I wanted to buy the " off the head" that is for blackhead and whitehead sebum gel, but i have the similar one from adonis which i purchased one year ago and having hard time to finish it til now. So to give me excuse to buy "off the head" i have to be very persistent finish the old product and generously apply to my face every night. aih! so lazy!

anyway...this got me covered is not a very greasy sunblock which make your face oily like cooking oil. But it absorbed to your skin abruptly and leave your skin in smooth and silky texture. And the most importantly, you felt you are fully protected!

applying sunblock is definitely not my daily routine but i swear after i came back from bali this time, I would definitely apply it everyday! because it feels like an oil-free moisturizer!

突发奇想

2010-10-18T21:06:00.002+08:00

在某个幻想的空间里，突然好想抛开自己所熟悉的一切，做些最疯狂的事请，去些不知名的地方，一个人，从新开始吧。

我的思想，偶尔于常人不同。

Moment of vanity

2010-09-13T20:46:00.005+08:00

Stuck in the middle of a total paralyzed traffic is not funny but that didn't fret us much as we made a great deal along the way to tanah merah.

XOXO!

and that gave us so much joy!

Beh tahan

2010-09-08T19:02:00.003+08:00

I am so grumpy thinking the character of that person that i occasionally deal with.

Not that i kena today but i heard some of the people kena the thing I kena before, so i totally can put myself in their shoes la...

Sometimes our work is stress already and yet you still have to " see people's face color" to do your work is even making your life suck. Everyone is good at what they are doing and what is the reason I need to see your face? Can I show you my black face when i TL? you only need one person in your life to make your life suck la.

But come to think of it, it is really stupid to feel sad for other's people mistake..but i am really angry of myself sometimes....why do i need to swallow everything when you try to demean me without any reason la...people find your support not because you are the one in this whole world that can do you job and not that you are the best but unfortunately you are the only contact that i know la..and you are assigned to support this and if i have a choice ah, I would take over whatever you are doing la.

Aiya...just by thinking I need to go through that bad experience very soon also make me sick now. :(

San Francisco

2010-09-07T20:32:00.016+08:00

San Frans is one of the city that i like to set foot before my very last breath. The affinity forms unwittingly and not that i really know what is so interesting about that place except the imposing golden gate bridge and the gold rush story that i have only a smattering of. i just knew the place has lots of chinese and I was dying to see chinese after staying for 3 months in Oregon that was mostly Caucasian settled place.

When my plane touched down at San frans airport, I wasnt positive if there is anyone would pick me up. I was whirled in a messy ticket booking and date confirmation process with my BFF that i thought the plan would be killed, and to be honest that i was half-hearted when i reached san frans so i couldnt get any gloomy when realizing the cart needs to pay USD4 to be able to use, unrelentingly to pay that USD4, i decided to pull my 3 HUGE(50kg+50kg+17kg) luggage with infinitesimal strength, not to mention my laptop bag at my back..in a distance of less than 100m to reach a public phone, i dropped my luggages on the floor and made a big bang that everyone has to turn to the awkward me and watched, in the middle of the suds, i heard her familiar voice and she looked so worried that it somehow calm the disconcert that i felt min ago.

I thought OR is cold but somehow i felt chiller in San fans, especially when the bleak wind that wrapped around you were so sharp that they seeped through the multi layer of your outer and inner skin, shuddering more to your fresh and bones and maybe even deeper within. anyway..i just felt soooo cold that i can still imagine the coldness now and my bff and her husband was so cool like that still walking in slow motion without sweater and all i did was run into restaurant, threw myself into the car and flew out to the hotel. The Larkspur hotel is one of the intel recommended hotel and it was really huge that i swear it can fit at least 6 people sleeping in a room. we were planning to have girls talk overnight and i actually imagined the picture over and over again but we were too tired that we decided to call it a day very early.

The first and my second day in San frans was really an exciting cum tiring cum whatever mixed feeling day. We started at the lombard street and took dozens of photo at different angle then we headed to the expotorium where we cam whoring for the whole day again..

The lombard street

View from lombard street

The love bird

kh looked at most of my pic and said I must be very high spirit that day that i made a lot of funny and silly pose. =.= .

And the 3rd stations we stopped was the golden gate bridge.

The day wasnt started good for photography as the summer fog was thick at first but when the sun slowly loomed from the gloomy cloud, the fog trudge away and you can see the red sparkling bridge standing tall in the midst of wide ocean. Leng told me the bridge is one of the little thing that survive through the earthquake in early century that literally put the whole san franscisco burn to ash and dust.

The 4rd station is the fisherman wharf and pier 39 that we spent most of our time at...

In love with sea lions

and of coz incessantly burning our calories weaving at the san frans steep incline from the bustling china town to the concrete urban jungle in downtown. Undeniably I do prefer the skyline of the SF town over Seattle that is less organized and structural.

And not forgetting the castro street in harvey milk movie...i was anticipating the guys tongue kissing on the street or the masculine figure weating just G-string....but all i can see was 2 man holding hands or walking side by side. so disappointing la..but it was still a fruitful drive through trip to be able to witness one of the street that making the history.

The shop that belongs to Harvey milk

i bid adieu to San Frans in the most reluctant way especially to my bff, we werent in the teary eyes or drama kind of saying goodbye to each other but the melancholy was filling the air obviously. Melancholy towards a buddy whom i wont have chance to see again in the short coming future, and also bidding farewell to a lovely town that i spent more than 24 hours in.

But of coz, i marched to the boarding room without looking back again as every steps is making me closer to a place called home.

聊聊

2010-09-06T19:35:00.002+08:00

今天偶然的遇见我的二表妹在面子书就聊开了话题，分享大家的近况，减速的把几个月的事情的说给对方听。提到了大表妹，大表妹一向来都是与我最亲的一个，但最近都少了联络。应该不会是最后见面所发生的那最小事吧。。抛开别的不提，从前我都觉得她很需要开导，而且特别爱找我谈。或许现在人长大了，很多事情都会自己去想，也希望别人不会知道，所以渐渐的彼此就少了联络。我与我的他问题又不多，结果也变的很少与人来谈谈心事。有时真不知这是好还是不好，如果谈心事代表对方问题好多，那不找你是否该为她开心才好? 但我却真的, 真的希望现在的他们过的没那么好,至少大家还有好多东西好聊吧.我知道这样想不对. 其实别人还何尝不是呢, 我的好友常常写给我都问我与他好不好,有什么事发生吗.. 但我都好闷的说我们好得很.或许..她也怀念以前总是料好多好多的我们吧.

很讽刺吧..原来很多感情都需要一些问题来培养出来的. 不是希望他们过得不好, 只是那些聊了几个钟头的我们好像只留在从前了.

有几个面孔,今天真的好怀念:)

I dont need a title here.

2010-09-06T15:52:00.004+08:00

There is a confession that i wanted to confide and of coz, i share the thought with Kh sometimes and as usual, he understand but still, his word doesn't give a long term effect to mollify the thought that agitate me from time to time.

I miss US life! how shameful am I to shout this out loud! i am the one who was being such a noisy brat keep saying i wanted to be home earlier but now i was noisy the other way round. So I conclude it as I dont want to leave US permanently but i just need a home leave. Haha! I miss US so badly that i can relate everything in my life now with it..I looked at my apartment swimming pool and couldnt help thinking, I had a better pool view looking out from my hotel's window, the angmo bikini in any color you can named of, the occasionally german party at the pool side.. the chilly wind outside that makes me sneaked into my thick snowy white comforter craving for little bit of warmth..the giant burger that i could never finished alone, I swear i could do it now. not to mention the MCD burger in malaysia and US, they are totally in huge disparity. The shopping and the breathtaking countryside view, the systematic traffic layout, everything is so perfect but apparently everything comes with its trade off, I have no family there.

i know it is the best time and almost the most effective way for you to learn growing up and fend yourself when you are totally alone. I can feel myself constantly changing in US, but in here...I just cant. Things are moving so slow here that every cell in me just yelling want to change! i need a change! i need to do something different that makes myself feel different. I miss those days when i continue felt myself inspired and refreshed by new things and thought around me.

But still...

what a shame. I am still the one who keeps complaining in her blog, sitting in the same old cube and waiting to be busy again.

2010-08-16T13:52:00.002+08:00

很久没来探望的部落格，还好吗？

我的生活不一样了，从来我都抗拒改变，但慢慢的我觉得自己是变了。有时候一点一点的又变回从前的我，有时又觉得自己变得不一样。

这几个月的生活，说长得让我改变原有的生活也不是，短的没地方留念也不对。但一切像是发了一段好长的梦。梦到离开机场的那段惆怅，到现在回到同一个机场的熟悉。。两种心情不算是极端，都有自己所带不走得留念。

但我发现在多愁善感的自己最底面其实还是潇洒的。

在飞机起飞的那一小段路程，我想起了被留下的那些面容。唯一觉得温暖的是和不知何时再见的你抱了又抱的余温。

迷失

2010-06-18T15:15:00.001+08:00

越兜越远，不想再走回去了。

今天的心情指数？。。。。。。零。

First 2 weeks in State

2010-06-15T04:07:00.003+08:00

I wish to make a nice decent recap on what's happening here on me in the state. But i am depriving the luxurious of time to make one, so here is a brash one.

Most of the time, I just updated most of my outing experience in my facebook...but of course they probably just 0.1 of my days that I feel entirely relax.

First week was a disaster, it had been a while that i felt truely vulnerable to the changes. I am totally alienated at this place, I drove a few times to the wrong lane and get horned, I get lost at the same route for numerous time which never happen to me before in Malaysia, I didnt feel hungry most of the time and i hardly gulped any food into my stomach, I recovered from jetlay in one day span which you can see as the speedy recovery, I became an observer other than topic initiator like how I did back in malaysia, which mean, I talked really less here. Really really less. I couldnt join in the conversation, I dont know why. So most of the time, I just sat and put out my social smile, i got nose bleeding everyday.

And finally, I dont cry. Which most of the people expecting me to be.There were many times when I want to, but i shred them off when the mist fogged up my eyes.

Second week, I gradually get better. I started to enjoy my lonely days, lonely breakfast, lonely lunch and at least I have companion at dinner. And I even moved from towneplace hotel to residence inn hotel which the latter one is spacious and good in facilities. :)
*check out the view from my window*

Not forgetting to mention that I met a nice friend here, I mean a nice and clicking friend whom I can hang out with 1-1. At least God is not forsaking me. I know that and thanks to all the prayer that regard to me, they answered.

And here is the 3rd week, I finally have my name on the scrum meeting which requires daily update, so basically means I have lots and lots of thing to learn

But for better or worse, I would try my best to go as far as I can.

1st day in state

2010-05-31T18:23:00.004+08:00

I keep walking.

My mind is empty but the heart is loaded. I am missing him more in every step I treaded. Nothing is better than going back to a place i know. Not this strange place with every single face that i can’t call out their name.

So I keep walking. Seemingly walking on is the only way that kept me closer back to home.
I had the nicest dream last night on plane, I dreamt of the most ordinary thing like having a meal with him and some of the friends. But I woke up in dismay.

Today is the 1st day in state but I wish, it is the 90th day.

It is time to leave

2010-05-30T17:15:00.003+08:00

I am not ready but I have to go....... if only the distance can make the heart grows fonder then I will be back for good.

Drink of the day

2010-05-23T22:51:00.003+08:00

Mango smoothies from the loved one. Very sweet indeed^^

RUSH!

2010-05-18T19:06:00.002+08:00

I wish to have more time. More time please! Can I get all the time that i wasted on movie,sleeping, loitering in borders, lepaking in facebook back????
Alright..til i blog again! Today i only feel rush rush rush rush rush, if only i can split myself into 10 or 20! Hopefully i didnt left anything out..*finger cross*. I dont know la, seems like when i grow older, I am easier to feel panic. I used to be super steady, super bold and no fear one mah! Where is my gut!

Durian is back!

2010-05-16T21:15:00.012+08:00

Kh purposely took a day off from his work on Saturday to accompany me. it is rather absurd to feel a great mercy having to get a break on rest day, isn’t it?

We woke up to a windy morning, drove across the great ocean to Butterworth. There were so many things on the new house that awaiting us to get them done, stuff like applying for water or electricity supply from PBA and TNB office. But that was a trip in vain as both of us didn’t aware of the process actually needs Photostat IC and approving letter from PBA to the developer, so we wandered around aimlessly to find the Photostat shop but none were opened at 9am and our stomach drumming and yielding for food. Fortunately, we bumped into a shop by sheer chance that was so full houses so we halted our car at one empty slot and hopped down to have our breakfast.

Apparently there is a reason for that great capacity of crowd, the "sio bak" and noodles were really tasty! And the price was cheap too. We order 'Sio bak" for 2 and noodles for each that came with 3 big and spongy fish balls which only cost us RM11.20.*I am sure it is not because we were too hungry that we think this is nice la...*

After the hearty breakfast, we headed to the new house and checking for the house defects, we were asked by the developer that we need to snap photo and attach with the defect list, Honestly, I always feel like a troubemaker more than a helpers, though I owned a house but that was the second hand house and I never went through the process like checking for defects and I dont even know what to check :S but kh looks more experienced than me that he pointed all the imperfection and indentation that he thinks shouldn’t be there at the first place like.....like this tiny little hole which looks like a ant nest for me=.=

I suggested that we need to point at this tiny little hole for better illustration.

After settle with the long list, we headed back to Penang to fetch 2 friends whom we promised earlier to balik pulau for durian hunting. We navigated our way out of the hullabaloo of the city to balik pulau and saw the first durian stall but decided to look further in as apparently everyone has their past good memories of having durian at certain stall so we decided to find those durian stalls back. Further in, we saw a Malay durian stall but we had a mutual consent earlier of having the branded durian instead of kampung durian. Rumble along path with trees slowly dotted away from our sight until we reached the balik pulau town and yet, we haven’t found our durian stall. Exhausted but our determination unwavered so we decided to head towards teluk bahang because somebody said he remembered how good the durian was. Slowly, the landscape of greenery along the teluk bahang melted away without a single glimpse of durian stall and there we reached batu maung..droved passed bayan lepas and dumped the gear at the first stall in balik pulau that we saw 1.5 hours ago. -___________-

The boss took 4 "xiao hong" and charged us for Rm48 but we thought it was too expensive so we decided to go to the malay stall instead....the malay durian was cheap, RM5 but you hardly tell they tasted like durian. -____-

Feeling a great surge of unwillingness to be defeated just like that, we finally took the safest decision to head to town instead. When we had our first real durian of the day, one police car stop by the stalls, the police opened his boot and as if can read the police's mind, the boss quickly carried 2 big boxes of durian into the boot. This is the first time I see how some of us practice "one malaysia" so perfectly well together.But...... come to think of it, maybe we indirectly helped paying those durian in police's car, no wonder all the durians are so expensive!!

BTW mum!! here is for you! your best friend "mr. liu"! *not a flattering angle, but lazy to snap another=.=*

受伤的无名指

2010-05-16T15:12:00.003+08:00

前晚搬运一个大箱子时笨手笨脚的割伤了右手的无名指。起初我完全不以为然，只觉得有些刺痛，就自以为只是磨擦后所留下的触感而继续我的整理工作。至到感觉到手心上有点粘粘的湿感，才发觉原来无名指上的皮已经被磨开了。手指上的血都沾满了它的四周，流到掌心，干了。看到了血，我突然才觉得有点麻了的痛。起初还粗粗鲁鲁的打扫房子，突然之间就变得小心翼翼起来，特别留意不要碰到受伤了的手指。

就这样在被发现的那一刻开始，右手突然变得珍贵又残废了，平时鲜少操用的左手也变的忙了起来，比如说平常都以右手代劳的工作如洗衣，晒衣，抹桌子等会碰到水的工作都交给与了左手。

当晚，建兴工作回来发觉了这根受伤的手指，就替我粘了胶布。隔天起身刷牙时，我还犹豫该用左手还是右手？平时根本不是问题的事情变得需要思考，很怪。@_@.
想着如果水碰到伤口应该是很痛对吧？还是试一试看！果然是很刺的感觉。我对自己的傻气感到莞尔。人，往往有些自虐的倾向吧。

有时真的是这样的，只有在自己不方便时才会体会些什么。

卡通胶布，让伤口变得可爱了。=)

randomness

2010-05-14T21:10:00.012+08:00

Shopping

Feeling an avalanche of tendency to lavish spending spree today. But my wallet is tight.:(

I wandering around in Queensbay with fen that day and spotted a jacket in MNG, the plain design caught my eye, I wrapped it on and it makes me look a tad different, and i love being different. :):) Checked the tag and delicately placed it back again. No matter how much I love it and knew that i could easily trade it by sacrificing other stuff, but the rational part of me feels that is pointless because the jacket is blatantly over-priced. @_@ .

You know statistic shown women can live longer than man, not only women are adept in expressing themselves or circulating gossip, but also, we definitely know how to vent our anger, frustration, despair and stress through the right source which is shopping. And most of the time, that really works.:D But sometimes it becomes an excuse for me to do shopping and to avoid hearing me whine/grumble, or seeing the sulking face complaining over the tiny-minny stuff from the hot room temperature til too bored or too free, kh is always more than willing to take me shopping...anyway, it is not like I shop like nobody business, i definitely know when to stop and when's not la.

Busy bee

Talking about the recent emotion, I wasn’t feeling that happy when he is working from dawn til midnight to meet the project deadline and I guess many of them are way behind the schedule now..But the selfish side of me still wishing that he could spend more time with me. Anyway, I knew I shouldn’t let the unhappiness prevail over the understanding of knowing that everyone has their time for real business. Sometimes I was so busy until I hardly speak with him also. so that was totally comprehensible.

Neway

Today is the first day I went to Neway in Queensbay. The room was nice, food was ok but the mic was terrible. Of coz, I won’t make any assumption base on the first visit. The sound system was still new so we couldnt find some of the songs in the system. But the most disheartened thing was, we can only gulp our food after 2 hours ++. :S But okla..I dont want to complain coz i figured they didn’t expect to have so many customer on Friday. And another funny thing is, the system will automatically added some of the songs that we didnt request and sometimes it overwritten our songs.=.=...again la I dont want to complain...at least they gave us 3 hours for 5 heads whereas red box only 2 for 5. *consoling self*

I use my lousy hp to substitute my baby G11 but the quality is totally sux so i decided not to upload it.

And a confession to make ,I am not really in the singing mood today, the throat felt a sharp sting of tears and so dry that the sounds came out is like wailing sound of the slaughtered pig. :S:S:S

Thomas cup

oh..everyone is putting thomas cup on their lips wherever I go, since i am not a big fan of badminton. i skip all the matches that everyone is talking about. A bunch of them were going to pelita to watch the semi-final but I prefer to laze on my bed and facebooking. It is not hard to know the result since you are constantly updated by the result in facebook^^.

Ponytail

2010-05-13T23:11:00.003+08:00

After 5 months of looking into mirror and gazing at a different look of me, I finally had the "old" me back.

*Helo! meet the little ponytail!* How i miss you so! ^^

lonesome May

2010-05-13T22:35:00.015+08:00

For me, May so far is nothing but 2 epic weeks of movie’s boiling. The only thing I do every night besides from working was checking the status of the downloading movie, wishing I could have one movie completed downloaded so my night time was bearable.

To be frank, watching movie could be so tiring at times, but instead of lying on bed wide awake, render myself to the enormous silence that protruding in every inch of the corner, I rather play some movies, even just let them run their course while I stare at the my purple ceiling paint that penetrates by mildew bits by bits due to humidity. I wasn’t fussy on what movie to boil, better if they could make me dozed off. But looking at the bright side, i could start to prep myself ready to be alone. I foresee I would have plenty of lonesome days after 2 weeks.:(

Speaking of movie that i watched recently, I could only remember dear John and bruno. Believe me! i watched Bruno!!! and the only word to describe the movie was "disturbing". -_____- But one thing for sure, Cohen is a genius! I google a little on him and found that he is a Jewish which explains the geniuses. And he is the husband of the actress of definitely, maybe and shopaholic.

As for dear John, it is another typical love movie like "the notebook" except notebook was more catchy and appealing. *after all they were from the same author* :p

I figured perhaps it was because the actress was Amanda seyfried? I dont know why but I couldn't help to link her with "Jennifer's body", especially rubbing out her look that covered with blood in that movie. Emm..maybe a photo for better visualization la.=.=

okla..I better stop googling for more photo on how Amanda covered in blood coz it is creepy by staring at this photo..some more I am all alone at homeT__T

But the immutable truth is, I was truly intoxicated by her smiles,the alluring dimples you know! It is amazing to find such defection that turns out to be so perfect when pairing with smile. And yet I wasnt gifted with that defect T_T *sigh*

Food log: 卡将玛(kachama)猪肉

2010-05-07T20:41:00.006+08:00

老妈煮这道菜时大多都用鸡肉。但我只有猪肉，所以"kao kei" 下啦。:p

这道菜其实已经过期了，因为这实在是上两个星期的食谱了。现在才拿出来介绍，真是懒到不行啊！:(

跟大家介绍一下,讲到好像有很多听众似的(哈!)...这应该只有砂洲才有的本地菜肴(自豪).其实我还以为是道福建人的食谱,但好像不是叻..因为大多的福建朋友都没听说.难道是福州人???? 有谁可以澄清下吗?=.=

味道其实还真的挺特别的, 有股很浓的药材味, 但又不苦,应该说是"甘香"吧:)...其实最初煮时还有点担心我的唯一嘉宾会不喜欢, 与其说不喜欢,更贴切点应该是不习惯这股香味, 毕竟不是个普遍或是大众化的味道, 但出乎意料的, 他还很喜欢的念了整个晚上,吵着叫我明天一定一定要再煮,但我说猪肉没有了.要买过...哪知道,那天之后....他就很忙了,也不能回家吃饭了.也好,难得清闲.

嗯。。。用鸡肉应该会比较好看些 @____@

材料: 麻油, 姜,酱油,五花肉,盐,红酒,当然还有主角卡将玛.

步骤:

1. 切好五花肉,搁着.

2. 姜渣碎, 挤出姜汁, 分开放.

3. 开小火,隔着锅把卡将玛干炒到有香味盛起, 记得无油啊. .

4. 倒入麻油,然后是姜渣.炒至爆香.

5. 加入卡将玛, 然后五花肉.

6. 再到入姜汁,盐,一点点酱油做颜色.

7. 炒个几分钟再倒入红酒.

8. 用小火焖至20-30分钟即可.

Food log: 南乳焖猪肉

2010-04-27T15:14:00.007+08:00

I receive the comment that I seldom do the food log. That kind of reminding me. So here is one today.

I prefer not to treat cooking as a responsibility although i have been cooking everyday for months, it was always the first thing I do after work, unless I need to work late. The menu for the week ahead was pretty much fix during weekend and even if I was running out the ingredient, I can always try to cook something simple like fried rice or fried mee or mee hun. But still it is not a responsibility( more like i am hypnotizing myself), so to avoid myself from getting weary on cooking, sometimes I would try on new dishes, dishes that my mum never taught before.

And yesterday was a new attempt on a new recipe, i actually want to buy 红糟 but ends up with 南乳==||。 So I need to make something out of it because the expiry date is on next year march and you will be surprised of how time flies. And all I have is only the 3 layer pork meat sitting in my fridge. I never taste on 南乳肉 before, but i have heard it sporadically and so I googled a bit and found the recipe. But I didnt follow the whole instruction since they are mainly for deep frying so after getting all the main ingredient, I decided to do the stew pork instead.

Delightfully, this turn out to be tasty according to my only ever faithful customer.^^

notice the fat oily part in the photo???? i was about to stop kh to take that but it was tooooo late coz he took it when my eyes were locked on tv screeeeen! and the next thing i did was SCREAM!

Sharing the recipe here:
Ingredients to marinate( note: I never good in gauging the portion of ingredients so everything was base on my instinct.)
-1/4 tablespoon salt, one spoon of oyster sauce, 1/4 tablespoon of soy sauce(trust me, you dont want your meat to look dark), one cube of 南乳，1/4 spoon of chicken stock, a little bit of pepper, 2-3 spoon of 昭兴酒, 1 tablespoon of sugar, 3 cloves of minced garlic.

Steps:
1. marinate the pork with the above ingredients for as long as you could. I was lazy, so i only do it for half an hour.
2. stir fried the marinated pork until it turned dark-brownish then add some water.
3. simmer the pork in low fire for half and hour.

Happy trying:)

My first being a photographer

2010-04-26T11:08:00.007+08:00

last weekend, I decided to give myself a true break. As much as I love to remind myself that the sheer genuine happiness is when I can do things that i love. I always believe the moments are priceless, happiness is priceless. And I would be totally hassle and worries free for 2 days, no undone work, no foils to prepare..no stuffed of whatsoever stuff into my mind. And I will take every step that my feet could lift me to.

Saturday swept away monotonously but relaxing by hitting my weekend regimen in Starbuck. The air-cond temperature was so low it makes me shivers to core, as the result of that, I unscrupulously took 1.5 packs of nasi lemak for my dinner at Liverpool cafe and adding a few lbs on my tummy. X(

And sunday... at first, I was scared to think of what might turn out to be, will it be fun? could I ever catch the moments I want? but later i decided to toss the baffles, who cares..I just need to have some funs. Before the sun spells its gold to the whole horizon, Me and kh drove away to pick up our models, yyee and yyung. The excitement that stimulate every sense was apparent judging by how hard we normally need to haul ourself out from bed, but this time was totally different. I swore i even dreamt of having the photographing session all night long. After our models were all set with their outfit and painted their lovely cheek with little blush, we drove off to the place we spotted inadvertently sometimes ago and finally started the day.

We were kind of rigid at first, with the super inexperience photographer and first timer model, everything just felt so strange and awkward. But when the models started to ease-off, I managed to get some perky shots that I want, with the frail sunrise beam and fresh morning air, the shooting moved on pretty smooth and finally, we were done at 9am.

Apparently the first outcome was not in perfection and trust me, I even vague of my perception on the perfection, there were so many lack off and mistakes that I made, but to stay optimistic, I know I dont do for perfection..I do to get better. And the moment when I had the camera on, I knew I would love doing this for long time. But as the price of the fun, I had a sore muscle on my thigh and shin today X(

不再抱怨了

2010-04-19T21:53:00.007+08:00

昨天，写完了日记的我，心里还是很不平衡的纳闷，想找个人泄泄气，除了建兴应该没有别的选择了，走出了房间才发觉他窝在沙发里睡着了。算了，算你走运，还是烧饭去吧。看完了我猜我猜我猜猜猜，心情总算好了许多。但眼睛却感到好疲惫，但我不能睡，太奢侈了。。还有很多书等着我去读呢。

自我催眠了一阵子却又被慢慢下垂的眼皮给打败。。

这一睡就这样把一个小时给溜走了。。==|||

其实我真得很罗嗦，这并不是我想说的。好吧，其实是酱的，建兴问了我：“你知道哪一种工作是排在最辛苦行业榜上的第一名吗？” 我摇头。他得意了一下就开了蛊：“在中国的一些内地地区，有一群人是以拖着船只来维持生活的，而且每天只赚取区区的十二元人名币。他们赤着脚裸一步一步的推拉着船只经过弯弯的逆流，一寸一寸地把它推上目的地。要知道，是逆流哦！而且不单只赤着脚，他们也赤着身，只留着一条内裤憋体，因为家里的衣物有限，所以为了避免扯坏了衣裤就索性脱光了。而赤裸的脚根因为长期浸在水中的缘故而慢慢的腐烂，有时因为疼痛不堪而休息了几天，而那几天就不只是手停，口也停了”。

说真的我是真得很惭愧，不只是衣橱里有一年也穿不完的衣服，而且有事没事就自怜自哎到好像世界末日似的。。:(:(:( 所以，我决定了。。我不会再抱怨了。有时真的不需大费周章的想办法来舒解自己的情绪，想象那些比我们可怜几千倍的人，就会感觉到其实自己是很幸运的。